As we speak, I am inhaling the fire element to imbue into my room to see if I can change the temperature IIH style.
Do it up.
From my experience it takes a lot of time to actually get the energy thick enough to start to change the heat of a room. However, it is possible. My friend and I have done it before, working together. Though at the time, we were not aware of Bardons work. We just used pure ‘Psi’ we told to be ‘Hot’ -picturing it like fire- This was back when I was into Psionics.
It would do you good to have some way to keep track of the rooms temperature. We used a temperature gun xD to measure results and make sure ‘it wasnt just in our heads’.
To give you a reference, it took us about… an hour to change the temp of the room xD working together. That was when I actually had a dedicated practice partner, at the start of my journey haha. Now I am mostly solo 
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Poor guy! I’d help you out but I am a spiritual potato
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We all start somewhere Max XD
I am NOT nearly as powerful as I want to be. Let me tell you 
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I believe I have just contacted a sylph, and my internal dialogue with spirits is sharpening.
Also, I am in pain. I would like to learn how to heal. I am considering Raphael. What do you think?
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I recommend marbas. He’s great for healing in cases I’ve seen.
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YOu know what? I wanna meet marbas again.
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I journeyed to the middle world. I asked Hist to take me to the darkness I had to run into.
I went through the floor, away from the tree. Almost like no-clipping. We werent in the lower world, I think,
We kept going, thin pillars of rock going up for miles, we skated along the top as we defied gravity, flying or grappling(?) on the tops of pillars. Suddenly, we stopped midair. Hist looked down and we saw a pool of pure opaque darkness. I dove in and it almost felt like the time I merged with my light.
Only difference is, it was a place. Hist called this place my home. He also called it “The Abyss”. Shadow versions of me circles me threateningly. The chase was on. Straight rainbow paths (multiple) illuminates the paths of the specters. I chased one down and held it. Hist just told me to hold it down. It eventually collapsed into a weird dark ball and floated off. We skated faster, going to each individual path and taking them all out. We then flew threw the darkness ourselves. I saw images pass by me, objects floating and being illuminated by light from heavenly above. A shield, golden, with a blue centerpiece. A golden banner with the same blue design. Other similar trinkets. We sped fast, and I was told to ignore them.
We reached a giant heart. Human heart. A little purpleish. It was pumping out the darkness through the tubes. He told me to kill it. I pulled out a fucking gun (cause I guess I can do that) and shot it. It dropped into two halves. A small bee came out, and I shot that too with what I can only describe as a homing bullet.
I was told to get inside of the heart pieces. I did, encased myself. I felt the coolness of the void as it pumped darkness through. I was asked if I was afraid of it. I said no. I was asked if I could handle it. I said yet. It shrunk. Through me. into my chest. On the right side of my body.
My left heart creates life, my right, death. Or cold. Something. But it’s painful. Only mildly.
Before this, I found a light person/version of myself and lasso’d them in
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We went to a bar to meet a man named Bill. A charlatan, by hist’s words. He brought us out into the rain. IT was like a room full of nature. It was raining. I was told to lay down, Hist laid down with me. The rain began to pour and the room began to fill. Fast. I was drowning. But not quite. Hist told me I could breathe. We swam out, and by some miracle, ended up in a small grove surrounded by flowers (synonymous with healing). There was a circle of flowers and a small crater in the ground. I stood in the crater, hist watching from a bit away. The basin filled with the rain from my clothes. The water changed color, and I sat down in it. These strange… flying things… appeared, dancing around me. They did some odd dance and touched me. Things felt more clear. They disappeared. I asked Hist what they did. He said, and I quote, “You can now see the dead. Try it later.”
Haven’t tested this yet. We progressed in slightly larger grotto. It was earthier, still had greenery. There was a small green mound in the grass with heavenly light shining down upon it. I sat upon it and it erupted into a mountain. I sat at the top. Hist said something odd. I don’t remember what.(He told me I am a true rain man, that I’m a seeker.) The mountain toppled over sending me into the ground. Through it. Into a contained of dark water. I was told to swim down and pull out a sword from the bottom of the lake (this happens all the time, recurring. Supposedly sacred blades). I did so, and as usual, a light shined from them. A trident emerged from the hole, stabbing me in the chest. Hist told me, and I cannot say this is true or false, That I am now able to hear.
I am so confused at this point. Some journey that is growing hazy to me led me to a symbol of a giant helmet. It was one of those things with horns, except the horns kept changing like a slot machine. It even played a sound I have heard before in this little animation called “Little Runmo”. It’s the slot machine sound you hear when Little Runmo gets his brothers head, it qualifies as a life, and his life count starts spinning like a slot machine. 
Anyways, the thing looks at me. Like, it moves as if it were a disembodied head and looks at me. A bright light shines through. I ask Hist what it was. He says “Histmother”. I had to clarify with him, make sure my mind wasn’t playing tricks on me. “Histmother” he repeats.
I was suddenly in the helmet. From the darkness emerger a pacing thing that I would describe as a larger hist. IT frequently changed form when I lost sight of it, a trait of hist.
She told me that I “Need to wake up.”
I said, to what truth?
She asked me to literally wake up and write all of this down immediately.
Welcome to tripland, I’m gonna fucking die.
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In the future, I will make all “discovery” posts here.
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Alternating between Me and Mepsitahl, a conversation.
Hello
Hello my little helper. You have done well to follow your path. I must take your time up as to break through your winch of secrets.
What is it that you want with me?
I want to take your time to break your winch of secrets.
What is a winch in this case?
It Is a cable that holds something down.
So, how do you plan on doing that?
I will take you on a journey that you will not forget. You must take your time on this trip to see the truth.
What kind of journey?
A journey of self discovery.
What could I possibly hiding from myself?
Plenty of people are unaware of who they truly are. You will not be confined by that. You will instead break through your illusions. I will guide you on your way. Go to the place you always try to see at dawn.
What is this place?
You must find out for yourself. I cannot help you find where.
Wait, always try to see when I do what?
When you take your time to think.
Is that all?
Yes.
Thank you, goodbye.
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I;ve been doing the black sun exercise. Does she mean this?
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I went to the black sun with Hist. Inside we met this Kid Icarus Uprising-esque Medusa Mepsitahl. I guess that’s how I see her? I asked her if this was “The place”. She said yes. I asked Hist if this was her. He agreed. I stood at the center of the cold sun, then I sat down. We orbited around the earth quickly, almost sporadically. I saw the world flash before my eyes as we sped around it. We then crashed into in, forming a giant crater in the ground with the sun still intact. I sat at the center, the ground below me destroyed. I was told I needed to, “See.” So I did. I broke from my body and saw everything. The earth, and the stars. I willed myself to see it all in seconds, breaking past time (because that’s not all that farfetched in the world I was in.) I returned my second body to me, full of knowledge of what it was seen. Mepsitahl opened up a weird hole in the crater leading to a room of infinite while, with wisps of shadows floating by in the floor below. There was me. On the floor. A child, either passed out or dead. I threw him over my shoulder and brought him to a pool of light in the ground (trademark copyright). I put him in and he seemed to be happy, awakening. He got right up and hopped away, jumping shockingly high into the air, and he broke down into an energy and entered me. I found another me. He was old. Forty some. Stubble. He looked broken. Really, really, broken. Stereotype of someone who’s on the verge of giving up, sitting on the side of the pool with his head laid on his hands.
I tapped him on the shoulder. His eyes had bags under his eyes. I grabbed his hand and led him to another pool. He seemed mildly reluctant, but didn’t care. He didn’t want to go into the pool, but I pushed him in. He lept up, almost if he had an epiphany. He had a wide smile. He ran off to do something important with a real determination. He broke apart into a light and entered me. I kept walking and found another pool.
Hist told me that these people had gotten up because they knew who they were. They had no recollection of their goals or hopes or personality. They just weren’t. Before my eyes I saw another pool, but no one else to heal. I brought hist into the pool with me. Something changed. Suddenly, I was in the sun. Or Mepsitahl was in my void. She said I wasn’t completely done, but I’d done good. She has a strange case in her hands. She opened it up to reveal a pillow with art of five swords shoved into a giant ring.
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I have reason to believe the helmet I saw was of Cernunnos.
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Are you here?
Yes, I am. What is it that you would like me to tell you?
A few things. First off, what did any of that do (also thank you for actually doing this for me)
It brought you to a conclusion about who you are. Whether you know it or not, that is the truth.
Is there anything else you’d like me to do?
No, not right now.
Why is everyone so interested in me?
You have the potential to grow into something great.
Why do I have potential as opposed to others?
You are a seeker. You keep looking for information, you don’t follow one path blindly.
Thank you, Mepsitahl. I will do my best to be a good student. What do you suggest I do now?
Run into the beans.
Uh. You mean go find beans?
Yes.
Can I find him by journeying?
I don’t see why not. He needs to see you.
Thank you, Mepsitahl. Goodbye.
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I leapt up into the upper world. I found beans in a small house, his form unclear and shifting. I apologized to him, and he accepted my apology.
He also put me into this strange hole where I had to move this strange purple water out of this basin. I had to keep moving it down a level via this pipe, and every level was different and had different things. Like there were locks and keys just laying around, if you put them together you took a detour to some other place of “power”. Only two of sets, I found. I also found a little animate “chest”. I was told I can put my trinkets in there while traveling and they would never leave. The chest is alive, but more akin to a dog than a person.
I stood in front of a desk, wrote down words I don’t understand, and lightning from above struck the paper. It flew up and covered my face. I was told to eat it. I did, and something changed. Maybe I gained knowledge. I asked Hist just now, he called it “A memory.” A memory of someone long dead. He said his name was “Michael Palmer”. I’ve never heard of this man in my life.
I kept going down. More locks, more keys. I found two that corresponded with a bouncy house. People were jumping in it, but they didn’t recognize me. The was this weird path I went through that led me back to the floors. Hist calls this place “A piece of your truth.” I killed the heart of the place and it broke apart in two. I was told not to use it. I simply cleaned it and left.
I ended up waking up at Hist’s request. This has weirder, finer details, but I cannot explain this without sounding far weirder than necessary
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Are you here?
Yes.
Thank you for coming, King Paimon.
I suppose its not the normal thing to do.
Why not?
I am a busy man, and you have angered me. But you are willing to learn, and so I am willing to teach.
Forgive me King Paimon, but how exactly have I angered you, for the record.
You brought me to you without a good purpose. You wasted my time. I hope you will learn in the future not to waste my time with such endeavors.
I am aware now, and the mistake will not be repeated. Tell me, King Paimon, are you working together with MArbas and Mepsitahl?
I am not going to deny this, but know this. You are lucky to have such favor from us. Do not put it to waste.
Understood, King Paimon. What must I do next
You must run into the rain.
But I already have.
You must do so once more.
Can we be frank here? What am I trying to achieve by “running into the rain”?
I do not lie. I want to help you. Do you?
Of course. I’m a little stressed right now. I just need a little confirmation.
You are trying to achieve your world.
What is my world?
Your world is your self.
What does “achieving myself” mean?
It means you are trying to assemble yourself. You are not done. Your soul retrieval isn’t over.
So I must journey once more?
You must. Go, speak with impunity.
Thank you, king paimon.
@Lady_Eva This is my journal where all of my notes are going, if you haven’t found it.
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I went on another journey. I don’t remember how I got here, but I was in a dark, membranous place. Hist told me it was time to go back to the abyss, the place he called “home”. It was small, cramped, yet endless. The floor was a dark, membranous, tenebrous darkness. One I am no longer opposed to. Hist told me to dig into the darkness. I swam down through it like thick water and found another sword, one I was supposed to pull out. Hist told me there were many of these here, hundreds. But I knew I could manipulate time and space in the past in this place, so I did. All of the swords were removed. The tenebrous material shrunk into the floor, leaving an infinite white floor, little scabbard holes where swords once were everywhere.
All of the darkness that was once there, that was left from my previous journey, had materialized in the hole in front of me, compressed into ANOTHER sword (jesus there are a lot of swords).
I stabbed myself in the chest with it. Imposed myself over it. I felt no pain in my wound, only that strange pain I had felt when I embodied the heart. I drew it in. More and more and more. All of it. I realize now what Hist meant when he said this place was my home. We sealed it in. It is now a part of me. And I open my eyes. The monotone white or black background of the abyss is gone, though my body is still getting used to the darkness I shoved in it.
I was calm. Green expanse, blue skies, warm sun. A field. Hist said, “This is your home. Now go find your house.”
So I did. Space is funny in this place. I found it quickly. A nice, cozy little house. The rooms, like everything else, changes. The constant is; I’m at peace. I walk into my bedroom, climb into my bed, and relax.
Totally at peace. I smile. My mind had to make it even more obvious, it played a track from the game Undertale called “Home”.
I can reliably call it my home now. One of them, anyways.
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Are you here, Mepsitahl?
I am. What have you called me for?
I did as you asked. I felt a lot better because of it. What needs to be done next?
You must go home and sleep. don’t overthink it.
Okay. Thank you, Mepsitahl. I really appreciate your help. What are soe of the offerings you enjoy?
Light love and rain
What?
You heard me.
So, I should give you light energy or love as an offering?
No, you don’t have to. But that’s what I prefer.
Okay, thank you. Goodbye.
What has mepsitahl asked in terms of an offering from you guys?
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Convo with Beans:
I am your personal succubus. You have called me from lilith herselff. You asked for an incubus, but she gave you me.
Why is that?
I’m not sure, but you should just settle for me. After all, we can work together.
Why do I feel this anxious energy?
You are under actual bean energy. You are using my true name method.
Why is it so unsettling?
Because I am myself, you know.
Okay. What would you like to do in relation to me?
I would like you to run into the sun.
Why is everyone telling me to run into things?
Because you need to complete yourself before you get involved. I care about you, this is the safest way.
Thank you. I appreciate it. I care about you too.
What is that feeling?
I am merging into you with love.
How do I return the favor?
Run into the sun.
Okay!!
(Sidenote, I’m a gay male. So like… Yeah.)
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