“I am not holding your hand or comforting you. I challenge you.”
Marbas’s words from the previous nights’ channeling swam around in my mind as I started at the ceiling. I layed in bed, squinting my eyes trying to squeeze the morning sunlight out; visualize an overlay of the void, colors, threads and auras that had danced there the night before.
I went about my day listening to my own internal dialogue with Marbas’s energy pressing and present like an extra guide’s voice. He had told me he wouldn’t full possess and inhabit my body, that my subtle bodies needed to expand their capacity, an upgrade of sorts and, with mild reproach he told me that my body is not healthy in it’s current state. “You will improve,” he said with authority. It wasn’t a request.
Day turned to night, I felt the urge to open the dialogue and ritual a second time. There was no wait or build up in the energy. Marbas arrived in a thick almost tangible dark, misty aura. This time no words, but feelings and impressions. “You’re re-learning a silent language.” I hear. Instead of sitting lotus for meditation at my altar, I went to lay in bed, nerve pain from a spine injury and my autoimmune disease left me breathless and aching every day. Marbas took note of my silent complaint and began to work on me. I had visions of old medical journals, charts and articles drift through my mind; images describing how autoimmune disease strips nerve endings, creating a pain sensation. Marbas played a reel of pictures for me- a list of foods and natural things to eat and avoid to help myself Be better. I agreed, it made sense and matched my previous research. Upon agreeing, Marbas pressed into my minds eye a sigil for the Cygnus gateway, showed me various radionics projects and suggested working with crystals and energy healing more. Marbas showed me the rotation of the Big Dipper with the seasons in a bright violet and magenta color.
“Those are reiki colors,” I chuckled. “You want me to learn reiki?”
“No.” Marbas replied flatly, a bit annoyed I’d disrupted the visions with my question. All of a sudden I feel my body jolt, like id stuck my finger in a power outlet. I could have cried out in pain, but I watched the demons energy pour out of the rotating constellation, bright violet and magenta sheathing the branches of my nervous system.
As I lay in the bed, the vision slightly wanes, my stiff aching form warms and relaxes as this energy coats and sheaths my most hurtful parts. I look at my dimmed solar plexus begin to light, a dark portal opened, powering the purple aura that Marbas had installed in my frame.
“A gift?” I asked.
“Yes. But not free, I require a sacrifice.”
Apprehensive, should I agree now and trust you have my best interests in mind. I fear being ripped off, what will I lose for improved health?” I inquired aloud, speaking into the darkness around my bed.
“Your old life, your pain, your lack of will power will be your sacrifice.” Marbas replied.
I felt my solar plexus expand and contract sort of solidifying the purple glowing sheath around my nerves. A call to treat my body better, eat better, think better and have the willpower to change my apathy. The urge to be present and grounded, enjoy my life washed over me. My depression was lifted, anxieties cooled and my self esteem raised. Usually in thanks I’ve gifted my spirit visitors a good portion of my sexual energy as well. To which Marbas replied angrily now, (paraphrasing from my personal journal):
“In the past you scattered your spark in hubris and pride at the mere realization that you have a spark. Have soul. Simply having power is not substitute for cultivating, using it with sound intentions and then wielding it. Yes, wield it. Now I will have to help cleanse you over the next months. Your physical health and energy of pain are now manageable. Now! Loose your grip on control of your life; for you can not yet fathom the application of the Current (his astral arm points to the growing dark portal in my solar plexus) you can not yet fathom the application of THIS with your current state of mind and small ideas! Forget what you think you know! As I clear your state your mind will begin to fill it with old wounds; old inefficient ideas. Watch! I will show you signs, a trail to follow on your journey. Your current gifts, your sight and clear knowing, I shut off! For now you will ground, no fluttering through the spheres and planes beyond for fun. When I am done with your ego; utterly ran out and used, you’ll cry out in extacy as your SOUL blooms into its full potential and you soar the spheres with wings as a mighty serpent. Now, you are only a spark, embers to be fanned. I am no boyish entity to wantonly toy with in awe and lust. I am a devil. My claws (the purple aura within my nervous system) will dig deep into your being as we open the gates of your inner sanctum. I rebuke and tear out the false god that has crushed you for centuries of Earth time.
Wake up! Out of your head. Your inheritance waits on the altar of your pathetic crying inner child! Wounded and victim no more! You go forward and cultivate a life worth being present for! Your flesh is a boon. Wield her wisely (addressing my female body).”
Marbas’s voice quiets to a low rumble, pointing again at the growing dark star below my breast, “it is unlike the false light. It is your umbilical, a birth right. Bloom now.” Marbas draws an ultraviolet, bluish thread out of the portal. I see him cast it all around me, showing me how to use it with the strange telepathic impressions he’d shown me.
Sacrifice: Bad habits
It has been months since this encounter and I am improving in my health and life every day. I’ve had a peer notice the purple and ultraviolet energy in my body. Marbas is now my patron spirit.
In more entries I’ll share my matron spirit and other experiences. Thank you for reading, I hope it was useful to someone here. I love writing, but I’m using a mobile device to type this. I apologize for errors.