Let me preface this by saying I am a complete and total novice. I have experience but in regards to spirit work I don’t exactly know what I’m doing and I’ve learned that the hard way. Years ago I jumped into this and just expected everything to go according to plan when in reality my life has just sort of went to ruin.
I’ve been working with Belzebub and Belial. I can somewhat hear them some of the time, but otherwise during evocation, I’m not doing right, clearly if I was they would physically manifest before me and that has yet to occur. I know genuine magicians who summon spirits and if you’re doing evocation right they will be as real as a person to you or me before you. They told me I was doing it wrong even. They do show up though and we have our arrangements I just have a hard time comunicating. Heres the issue.
I jumped into this with no idea what I was doing. While now I know far more I still don’t. Belial when he approached and he did approach me I didn’t go to him, asked me for control. You can see where this is going. We signed a pact and I gave it to him. A pact is a relationship that’s what differs it from a regular task or agreemnt. Youre entering into something serious with the spirit far more long term than a normal handshake.
Unfortunately it’s starting to get to the point where he’s starting to take advantage of me. He’s outright demanding. He’s trying to become an authority. He won’t listen to reason and he tries to dictate every little thing I do. He’s straight up told me he has no respect for me and is trying to force me into a sort of spiritual slavery for him with nothing in return. He’s made multiple threats and won’t release me from this agreement. he made it clear that “i don’t have a choice”. He told me I would never receive his respect so not to bother. He expects me to treat him as an authority as a master of divinity as someone forced to bow down, and that is just not what I agreed to, he knows that. He’s taking advantage of my wording. I had Azazel pop in one day who told me what I promised him was stupid and a huge mistake and he scolded me accordingly and I still have to work with him on that in ways I can’t talk about here.
I am sort of desperate at this point. I wouldn’t be here making a fool of myself admitting my inexperience and embarrassment if I wasn’t desperate to get out of this situation. It’s taking a terrible turn and I just can’t do this anymore. It’s the first time I’ve had a real “fuck magick I’m done” moment.
Thanks for any help you guys can give. If your going to scold me I promise I have heard it before.