Maintaining your Darkness

How do you do it? I woke up this morning after weeks of progress only to feel completely and absolutely mundane. It’s like all the magic was drained out of me. A few days ago I was hearing demons in my head and seeing evil creatures in my visions. Today it’s all gone and I feel like going out and having some BBQ. How do you keep that black prescence from leaving you once the shock value begins to fade? When you open the sigil of any demon and call on it, you invoke the abyss with a thousand inverted pentagrams, and when you’ve walked with visions of demons trailing behind you, how do keep that from going away? Is it simply the dark night of the soul? (I haven’t had this yet) How do you keep yourself from reverting back to the mundane?

I think we have to revert back to the mundane in order to live in this life. I remember when I made solid contact with Angels, I felt like I was a being of infinite light and nothing could really touch me. Then shit happened and I lost it. Later I made my first solid contact with Demons and I felt like I was power incarnate, like I was filled with the blackest dark presence and I could crush anything in my way…then shit happened and I lost it.

I think as long as we are attached to this world we are always gonna struggle with maintaining that feeling of power. But then we can go into ritual and summon up that feeling of power and everything that comes with it anytime we want. I think part of the journey to Godhood is learning to compartmentalize the mundane and the spiritual, then learn to let them interact with each other, while trying to keep our mundane life.

So I guess what I am trying to say is don’t feel to bad. Anytime you want that feeling you can do a ritual and summon it up again.

You don’t. You get it, it goes away and you have to find it again somewhere else. This is part of the journey, otherwise you’ll just stagnate and not accomplish much.

“Today it’s all gone and I feel like going out and having some BBQ.”

I FUCKIN" love BBQ!!! Ya know…-TWF- is a masturbarbequer too!

Things change…such is the way of the universe. Things ebb & flow…especially feelings.

Well, I’m going to disagree with everyone now - because to me, that’s the purpose of a minimal daily ritual, for example, I do an of invocation of my Inner Divine - to give me time at the start of the day to remind myself of my magickal identity and purpose.

I’ve had highs and lows in the past and each time the lows came hard on the heels of identifying too much with the mundane world, “normal” people, and probability, in place of accepting my own power to control at least some events.

I do a morning rit, probably more times than not now, and it’s like a cop donning uniform, shield and gunbelt, or a surgeon scrubbing up, or anything else that gets you in the right frame of mind to face the day.

Days when I let it slide, read too much news, listen to a “normal” friend bitching about their normal shit, that’s when I’m letting my power go, letting the mass muddy reality take over.

You take the day off, unscheduled, because you’re not feeling it, then it becomes the next day too because there are things to do, then it’s three days, a week, then you have gaping holes in your finite human life where you’ve let possibly THE single most important and rewarding actions of your life just slide away from you… I’ve been there, lost months at a time, and my regular life usually went to shit as well because I was asking friends for advice instead of doing the damned WORK, of divination, spell-casting, whatever the fuck.

Although magickal progress and empowerment happens in quantum leaps, with dry spells in between where you start to doubt, I don’t think there’s any more excuse for us to let our sense of indentity and belief slide due to a passing mood than there is for the guy doing someone’s emergency appendectomy to embroider a daisy on the patient’s skin instead, because he didn’t feel like opening up a body that day.

Olympic athletes, top performers in any field have that same thing to contend with, that sense of waking and it’s all just slid away, and from every biolgraphy i’ve ever read you don’t get to the top of ANY tree by just easing up when you’re not in the mood.

I deliberately wrote myself a rit format that I can start from cold, when my nose is running after a bad night’s sleep, the dog’s pissed on the carpet and I’m worried about everyday crap, that builds in intensity, so by the end I’m back clear on what life’s about.

JMO, and don’t be discouraged whatever you choose to do, it happens!

I will be doing one ritual from Baneful Magic within two weeks. But before I would like to bring the Powers of Darkness close to me, make some report with them, so during the ritual it will gain much more power.

Do you think some maintaining meditations with black power can help with this? Or do you suggest something else?

One possibility you might consider is “getting to know”/building contact as a relationship, with these Allies (both these particular Entities, as well as adjusting your Being to resonate at such frequencies…) This could be done as say a week or more (as you mention ~2wks until), just “meet with” once a day for a few, and then raise that to a couple of times a day- once you’ve built some Contact.
[In the same way that people one works with, or is in a class with- start off as “strangers” but see each other day after day- little contacts and seeing below the surface, not just the “first impressions”… and trust, might, arise; as well as Recog, or not, common-interests. Thus the parallel]
This is a bit distinct from a meditation, or a daily rite, in the sense that those are purposeful… “let’s meet at XYZ time/place to discuss ___” is quite different context to “let’s get-together at XYZ time/place. as we’ll be there anyway- no efforting nor ulterior motive…”

after a week or so of just “sitting with” you will likely SEE “them” in a quite different way (and they you)… and then a more CallingForth for the few days prior; sort of a more explicit energetic structuring into more explicit Presence [you can “adapt to them” (speaking in their terms) since you know these Entities/Energies- underlying currents], as well as customize your Structuring of the Matrix they could ReVeal themselves with… as you have come to know them… this should give a much stronger Contact (and embed unspoken knowledge and understandings).
This all being done, you may get a hint along this way, 123 doesn’t want to deal with <subjects…> but instead is specialists if doing in __ way… and perhaps introduce you further.

The similar idea of walking into an “interview” cold… (how do you do things “here”?) vs one only gets to that point far after already one has been “walked in the door”… and those are a different level than how Action is Triggered, creating an Event or a new Project is by those that have come to Rely&Know each other (one doesn’t just march up and say “Hello, you’ve great Resources and Power, help me out and let’s form an Empire.” at least that is the metaphor)

in the context of this, when I first read this thread I first thought gee is there a technique to snap back to “normal”? Enfuse your Being and want to retain it enough and eventually… well, that saying about “watch what you wish for.”