I think most people on this forum have been hooked on something, at some point - we’re magicians, we like power, and the feeling of power, and we want it all right now, if not sooner. And we don’t listen to reason, or fear taking certain kinds of risks. To be like that is to lay down the “Welcome” mat to any activity or substance that can deliver with minimal fuss!
I think some questions you can profitably ask yourself are, “What would it take for me to want to stop this, for real?”
Not the negatives, you know those already - what would it take to find something more useful to your life?
Because just cutting out an addiction without having something inspiring to replace it with is a fool’s game, it just leaves a gaping roaring hole in your life that works to justify going right on back to it.
“What goes on in my mind that makes the case for going back to it?” - backtrack yourself, find out what feelings precede making that choice after you’ve intended to stop, and then see if there are other things you can do that answer to those feelings without being as destructive.
“What would make me want to stop?” - this is getting a bit more practical and down-to-earth from Q. 1.
“What beliefs underlie my caving in?” - do you feel helpless against it, like the pain of it nagging you is too much - what can you do about that? People are problem-solving beings by nature, sometimes you can solve these things and make that next onset of craving (or however it feels for you) that much easier to defeat.
(My definition of addiction is having the whiny toddler from hell inside your mind, ike some hellish car journey with a horrible brat and all it does is whine “Are we there yet?” at any stimulus - sad, bad, happy or just bored - “there” being back to the stuff or activity we’re addicted to. Glamorous, it aint!)
“What would I have to believe about myself, my life, the world - to make refusing to do this worthwhile?” - that one’s also worth some thought.
I’m not trying to TELL you to stop, I’m just sharing some ideas, these helped me and I just recently found a bunch of old Word docs with a lot of this kind of stuff in - and it DID help me.