Agreed, there’s always a REASON, and the reason needs to be identified and removed. That said, being in a depressed state is really a bad time for making the necessary soul-searching.
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It is necessary nonetheless. Moving ahead and doing that searching will feel like wearing lead boots, but its either press forward with lead boots on, or stand still and be crushed.
Also, OP, I would suggest asking for some assistance in pinpointing the specific issue/s from an entity that you are most comfortable with. I would not, however, ask it to cure you, because I think that would actually be doing you a disservice. Depression is an extremely trying experience, and it shapes you. If you can get through that shaping, you are changed, and for the better despite its very acute discomfort (to put it mildly).
Its a trial, and it arose as such because some pattern, whether emotional, spiritual, etc, was disharmonious with the rest of your being.
Depression is a result of something. But just taking away the result, does not harmonize the underlying disharmony, and thats what needs targeting. Not the result, but the underlying function that produces that result.
And even if an entity did choose to modify the underlying disharmony, I think it would be robbing you of potentially massive personal growth.
Ive been in a stagnant depression before, and it has been extremely difficult to work out of. IMO, it was many, many lifetimes in the making. A lot of hold out beliefs from previous lives, and very long set patterns and tendencies that while may having been representative of my true self so long ago, was no longer representative of who I had become, and am still becoming. From my vantage point now, its clear the worst was some years ago, probably 8 - 10 years ago at a height of disillusionment.
And if you asked me then if I would accept the depression being lifted, I would have accepted the offer. But right now, if I were to be offered the same thing, that is to have the depression lifted 10 years ago, I would have to decline. I did not have fun the past decade (or prior to it), it wasnt exciting, and it wasnt happy in any sense of the word. It was filled with unrest, and mental torment (and still is to some degree, but not nearly as harsh). But looking back, its clear how much Ive grown not in spite of those things, but because of them.
In my own UPG, our spirits are actually quite rigid things. Like an elastic but rigid material, they are not easily shaped and left in that shape. They tend to rebound into their previous form once pressure is relieved. But that original form sometimes is not our desire any longer. We want to change. Truly. So we send ourselves into the furnace, which is life, to be crushed, heated, melted down, and recast into a stronger, more preferable form according to our desires.
And being crushed, heated, and melted down is not fun, pleasant, nor quick. And when we are molten, without memory, knowing nothing with certainty but our own uncertain, liquid state, feeling unformed, incomplete… dead, and only having the vaguest senses of who we are… that is both the absolute hardest point to come out from and the most dangerous to be trapped in, but also the most powerful, potentiated state possible. Its the state where we can recast ourselves in the image of our own choosing, and become that which our old form could only dream of.
A deep depression, spiritually anyway (such is my experience), is being in that molten state. I remember many times thinking, quite factually…
“I am nothing”.
“I know nothing”.
“There is no certainty”.
“This is literally Hell and it will never end”.
“I am dead…”
But there was a sense to keep going. A sense that it would be worth it, but I didnt know what “it” was. I thought that sense to be ridiculous, but just in the off chance I was wrong, because as I knew, I knew nothing, I kept going. The lowest point, being dead is the most difficult to pass through, and the most rewarding to get past.
Its resurrection; rebirth; being melted down and the impurities burned away and being recast anew. It is new life. New existence. New spirit even; the process where the immutable, eternal spirit decides to do the impossible and change itself, and become once again rather than just be.
Its why we are here, IMO. We chose it, to change. We knew the risks, but took the chance and dove into the fire.
Many fail, and are recast into their old forms, or just barely different.
But some few succeed, and become the gods of tomorrow.
Nothing worth having is ever easy to attain.
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[quote=“Pazuzu, post:1, topic:7299”]Greetings All,
For this past couple of weeks (1.5 months), I have been stuck in a seemingly never ending state of sadness, emptiness & worthlessness. No matter what I try to watch or read to boost my mood, I just can’t lift my spirits up and if at all I manage to do it, It comes down crashing after a day or two. I feel like i have lost my drive & ambition in life itself & I’m starting to do things that I’d kicked out of my life a long time ago, particularly, smoking & the incessant urge to spend hours on the internet finding for sexual partners.
My main problem is that I can’t sit & meditate/evoke/invoke like how i used to do in the past, despite the fact that I’ve been seeing “co-incidences” around me. e.g Finding a Fluffy white feather in my bedroom (This occurs whenever I feel terrible or lost) & dreams of my totem.
At the start of my depression, I invoked Belial once to strengthen myself & although I felt better for a few hours, it just didn’t last.
I know it sounds like I’m ranting, but I just feel like pouring out all of my thoughts & emotions because, I do not have friends nor family members that I am close enough with to confide this stuff. I’m sorry if this message sounds jumbled up.
Pazuzu[/quote]
I know a little about depression… When I’m depressed nothing works except self-medication for breakthrough treatment to at least get me FEELING better even though the depressive emotion is still there. Fuck the traditional anti-depressants, which don’t work for me or have intolerable side-effects, I’m a fan of opioid-type treatments – not necessarily hard “opiates” like Hydro or Oxy but analogues and such that have the same opioid-like mechanism of action like eg Tramadol or the natural tree leaf Kratom or poppy seed tea, all three of which I am very familiar with and have taken successfull for years for breakthrough treatment of depression / lowness.
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Pazuzu forgive me but i need to be an asshole for a second because i believe you need a swift kick in the ass.
IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW YOU FEEL! IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW HIGH OR ADDICTED YOU ARE!
i live in a bad neighborhood, and once while in ritual some drug dealing gangbangers started shooting right outside of my house. you know what i did?? I KEPT THE RITUAL GOING!
focus has nothing to do with one’s emotional state (for the record i was very scared and fearing for my life, but i fought through that shit) ,it is a state of mind. a state that is created by ignoring the world around you. even if you cant actually feel this, i want you to at least create the illusion in your head that you don’t give a fuck.
true focus and concentration can be achieved at any time at any moment. if you can’t then you are NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH! “I DON’T GIVE A FUCK!” IS YOUR MANTRA.
FUCK YOUR EMOTIONS, FUCK YOUR ADDICTIONS AND VICES, FUCK ALL THE STUPID PETTY LITTLE SHIT IN YOUR LIFE!! YOU ARE A FUCKING GOD!!
even a sad god can unleash a storm.
go forth now and unleash chaos.
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[quote=“WiseManEcho, post:15, topic:7299”]Pazuzu forgive me but i need to be an asshole for a second because i believe you need a swift kick in the ass.
IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW YOU FEEL! IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW HIGH OR ADDICTED YOU ARE!
i live in a bad neighborhood, and once while in ritual some drug dealing gangbangers started shooting right outside of my house. you know what i did?? I KEPT THE RITUAL GOING!
focus has nothing to do with one’s emotional state (for the record i was very scared and fearing for my life, but i fought through that shit) ,it is a state of mind. a state that is created by ignoring the world around you. even if you cant actually feel this, i want you to at least create the illusion in your head that you don’t give a fuck.
true focus and concentration can be achieved at any time at any moment. if you can’t then you are NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH! “I DON’T GIVE A FUCK!” IS YOUR MANTRA.
FUCK YOUR EMOTIONS, FUCK YOUR ADDICTIONS AND VICES, FUCK ALL THE STUPID PETTY LITTLE SHIT IN YOUR LIFE!! YOU ARE A FUCKING GOD!!
even a sad god can unleash a storm.
go forth now and unleash chaos.[/quote]
Lol I like your attitude
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I thank all of you for your blunt, yet useful & priceless help. After some reflection on several things that have occurred in the past few weeks associated with my depression, one of it was a dream involving my spirit animal, I’ve come to believe that this is an opportunity for myself to become stronger and to face my inner demons once and for all, for I have been running away or trying to ignore their existence all this while by telling myself that I’m in control and good.
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Have you tried cleansing and working with your chakras. I was very depressed all the time, I have scars where I tried to slice my wrists open. Learing to cleanse and balance my chakras helped so much. Also experiencing kundilini may have several benefits for you. Because when I experience it it’s like an amazing orgasm …like oh my wow!!! As long as I work with my chakras on a regular basis …my depression is gone. At least that is what has worked for me ~ arianna
[/quote]
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I can vouch for that as well. It’s like having a full body orgasm where you can feel it in every part of your flesh as opposed to just the areas where one normally feels that pleasure when experiencing an isolated sexual orgasm. It feels so good it almost hurts, if anyone knows what I mean by that, but at the same time you don’t want those sensations to end.
And it does do wonders for your mood. I used to be overly emotional back when I never did any chakra work at all and these days, I can usually tell if one of my chakras is getting blocked because my moods will start changing and things like mild periods of depression, doubt, anger, or general moodiness and cry babyness that females tend to get naturally on occasion just from having so much estrogen flowing thru them, those more unpleasant emotions will start to surface again until my chakras are unblocked.
So good suggestion, it’s worth a try and it can fix your moods much better than any chemical medication can. Kundalini is like our own version of natural built-in self medication that most people are just ignorant to!
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We’ve all been there before, not moving forwarding because we have challenges we must face that we don’t want to face. So sometimes the best way to deal with these challenges is simply ignore them and convince ourselves that everything is just fine but doing this never amounts to anything good because the problems remain unsolved, and the challenges remain unfaced, which leads to progress being unmet.
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Anything you run away from becomes your GOD, your ruler and overseer, because it starts to dictates what you can be, or think, or do.
I found that out the hard way, so I’m not being smug saying this… 
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I’ve never really looked deeply into the practice of Kundalini so thanks for the suggestion, I’ll look into it.
Another thing i wanted to ask earlier but forgot was that, does your environment contribute to you being depressed and stuck in life? For the past month, I’ve been spending most of my time in a local abandoned graveyard, where i just stare at the graves while smoking cigarettes. I feel deeply drawn to places where there are no people because for some reason, I just feel agitated when I see people. (Which isn’t normal behavior).
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Edit to say: I typed the reply in this post, I care, but I was also wussing out - hey fuck anyone who’s never done THAT.
My best mundane advice is in this post - my best occult advice however is in the reply below. And please ignore both if they seem like bullshit to you! 
Ask yourself this - if a cheerful upbeat person lived as you’ve been living recently, would it have any effect on their mood?
I think so!
Don’t worry, I used to live in depressing ways when I was depressed, and that then made me even worse, the thing is in that state you’re drawn to things that echo your mood and don’t rattle you up, I used to feel too raw mentally and emotionally to do anything else… but the reality is, you need to push yourself a bit, if you don’t make the effort you’ll end up living a lifestyle that would drive anyone into despair.
There’s a time and a place for graveyards but IMO you’re not really in a position to benefit from it. I could be wrong, but it’s a bit of a risk.
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Fuck it - if you really want to push where you’re at, I’ve posted on here before about how I did some awesome magick even though I was drinking 2 bottles of wine a night, suicidal, and crying myself to sleep on the nights when I wasn’t numb enough to not care.
So, fuck anyone who says you have to be perfect (grounded/balanced/powerful in material ways/at peace) to do effective magick, by the way! :o)
Try this question to yourself when you’re numb, or hurting the most - “What thinks?”
“What feels?”
“What loses hope?”
“What am I?”
“What is hope?” (Questions like that - you get the idea. You’re looking for the guy behind the curtain, the light behind the projected imagery in the cinema of your world.)
What you’re looking for is the “back of, and behind” placement of your TRUEST self, as outlined in the Kybalion - the seat of all power.
Don’t like kill yourself and come back to haunt me, but I did this, and I was on the fucking rack as far as “let’s all feel chirpy and optimistic because yay” goes, I posted about some of the findings from that here.
I on the one hand don’t want to push you through the singularity that makes you realise there is NO FUCKING THING and NOTHING and also, nothing you ever cared about, does, will or can, matter - because you know that already, but only in a bad way - but oh, sweet Child of the Universe, sweet God of All that YOU are - on the other hand, maybe you can break on through to the other side, as I did, when it all suddenly becomes daffodils and roses, and you really don’t give a fuck!
I should probably have posted this before, but I wussed out. Yeah, it happens.
Even for a Living Goddess! 
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As strange as it may sound, but I always got my focus strengthen during intensive emotional outbreaks. Sensitivity is a part of my nature and my spirits are emotional in a degree that even outperform myself by miles.
Even when I write this post, I am saddened and a little depressed since I lost my job last Friday. My spiritual senses are hightened and my spirits attached themselves closer to my heartchakra, and they sort of “sparkles” above my ears. They have pretty much done this all day.
I think the biggest problem is the thought of depression as something that makes magic “less effective” than a positive state of mind. I don’t agree about that.
As I see it, the biggest problem is when we pretend to be in a state of mind when we actually are some place else. If you are yourself, whether you’re happy or sad, the magic will adapt and adjust with the same result as intended.
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[quote=“succupedia, post:25, topic:7299”]I think the biggest problem is the thought of depression as something that makes magic “less effective” than a positive state of mind. I don’t agree about that.
As I see it, the biggest problem is when we pretend to be in a state of mind when we actually are some place else. If you are yourself, whether you’re happy or sad, the magic will adapt and adjust with the same result as intended.[/quote]
Wish I’d typed that, because it really does sum it all up. YES.
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I’m in the middle of post acute withdrawal from suboxone and it’s the low mood that’s hindering me the most. Something I found that’s helping tremendously is a supplement that I’m feeling within an hour of taking it it’s called dlpa increases serotonin and dopamine and it’s not an antidepressant shit is really working great look into it
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[quote=“Lady Eva, post:9, topic:7299”]I think most people on this forum have been hooked on something, at some point - we’re magicians, we like power, and the feeling of power, and we want it all right now, if not sooner. And we don’t listen to reason, or fear taking certain kinds of risks. To be like that is to lay down the “Welcome” mat to any activity or substance that can deliver with minimal fuss!
I think some questions you can profitably ask yourself are, “What would it take for me to want to stop this, for real?”
Not the negatives, you know those already - what would it take to find something more useful to your life?
Because just cutting out an addiction without having something inspiring to replace it with is a fool’s game, it just leaves a gaping roaring hole in your life that works to justify going right on back to it.
“What goes on in my mind that makes the case for going back to it?” - backtrack yourself, find out what feelings precede making that choice after you’ve intended to stop, and then see if there are other things you can do that answer to those feelings without being as destructive.
“What would make me want to stop?” - this is getting a bit more practical and down-to-earth from Q. 1.
“What beliefs underlie my caving in?” - do you feel helpless against it, like the pain of it nagging you is too much - what can you do about that? People are problem-solving beings by nature, sometimes you can solve these things and make that next onset of craving (or however it feels for you) that much easier to defeat.
(My definition of addiction is having the whiny toddler from hell inside your mind, ike some hellish car journey with a horrible brat and all it does is whine “Are we there yet?” at any stimulus - sad, bad, happy or just bored - “there” being back to the stuff or activity we’re addicted to. Glamorous, it aint!)
“What would I have to believe about myself, my life, the world - to make refusing to do this worthwhile?” - that one’s also worth some thought.
I’m not trying to TELL you to stop, I’m just sharing some ideas, these helped me and I just recently found a bunch of old Word docs with a lot of this kind of stuff in - and it DID help me. :)[/quote]
After some reflection on the root cause of this addiction, I’ve managed to pin point it to a lack of intimacy in my relationships (family, friends). The only thing that managed to kinda get me off my addiction for a decent period of time would be romantic love. Visualizing & “Interacting” with a “lover” (I’m single) in my life allowed me to forget that I had an addiction and made me “feel” the emotions of intimacy, love, trust & acceptance.
By the way thanks for your suggestion to stay away from graveyards for the time being, it did help me feel a bit better. Thanks for your help.
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That might be placing undue power in the hands of frankly unworthy human scumbags, who happen to be of the opposite sex.
I get that, because I did it, my 20’s were a fucking train wreck because of it.
I can’t say don’t go there, but the “oneitis” concept has a lot of tyruth, and although I’d got mine sorted, you might find this useful, so your can stop looking for a gooddess, and just look for a suitable comp[ativle paryner instead?
Evocation Of My Personal Daemon/
Big love, “sturm und drang” and the dramatic chaotic is all fine, but if you want to be happy, find within yourself first, what you desire, then you can evaluate partners as they pass by, and not be looking to pin the crucial elements of your own soul among them.
I got lucky, but it was only by a dose of pragmatism, and this exercise could have saved me SO much pain and loss, if I’d had it sooner.
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I have made a list of the traits that I would like in a partner & I’m trying to manifest one via the LOA. Yea, it looks like I’m trying to run away from the actual, painstaking process of fixing the pieces within to make myself feel happy with myself by basing my happiness on another person.
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We’re brought up to KNOW to wash our hands (germ theory is recent) and to know how to use technology, but sexual/romantic love, the most primal need, that’s left to the toxic shit of songs (no, seriously, copy out some lyrics then analyse them) and Hollywood, which tells men to be stalkers (persistance pays off) and women to be either whores or princesses, who need saving.
THEN we wonder why so many people are unhappy in love, and the quest for love?!
Take that to - for example - cookery - make every song about “I tried to eat, but it was a toxic mould and I died” - “I wanted to take a bite off a live cow, but she wouldn’t let me, then I finally succeeded, ohh yeah” - I mean come on, it’s a blatant bullshit CON!
So, look at what your cultural programming is round this, then you might find some things to challenge.
It’s not your fault, that you were born into a toxic sewer as we all have been since about 1960+ - I just hope you find a clean way out!
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