Hello, everyone. I hope that life is treating you fairly.
I have some…semi-bad news. Well, bad news. Nothing “semi” about it.
Its bad.
It seems I am being astrally followed and spied on. Perhaps even spiritually blocked. I have a feeling that YHWH has something to do with it, which you will see below. It seems that my sudden victories have pissed someone off. Now, whether it is Yahweh, some other spirit, or even someone on this forum, the fact of the matter is that the Morrigan was correct; I seem to have more enemies than I thought.
Now, how did I come about this conclusion? Why do I feel that I am being followed, perhaps spiritually blocked? It all started last night .
A good friend of mine, @Shemoos, is training me to astral project, and in astral combat. Since I am so deep into this, it is only logical that I need to defend myself among all avenues. There is this looming feeling that something big is coming.
Either way, Shemoos and I had a sort of practice session together last night to see where I am at in my progress. The task was fairly simple: to try to perceive his astral form, and make out what he says.
Now, usually, I am able to do this sort of thing very well. The other sessions that we have had seem to show signs of progress. This time, however, I seem to have regressed in progress. Getting far worse “information” than I once did. Upon trying to tell him what I saw, I seemed to be completely inaccurate. For example, I swore that I perceived another woman in the room. But upon Shemoos’s return and conversation with me, he says that there was no other person in the room except for me, him, and his mount.
Not only that, but I perceived his form completely wrong as well. Whereas his form was similar to an angelic being, I perceived it as completely opposite: a shadowy, negative figure. What caught my attention was when he described how I was behaving in the astral realm.
I seemed to act extremely confused. When I was looking at what I thought was him, it appears that on his end, I wasn’t looking at anything at all. I was only staring right through him. He also mentioned that he tried to converse with me, and yet I could not hear him. On his end, It seemed like I was not paying attention to him at all. The only thing I could make out was the very end of our session, in which he said “get back to your body immediately”.
Upon both of us getting back to waking consciousness, we were both confused. Usually, sessions like these go well. But it seems that this time, my senses were completely skewed in what appears to be “opposites”. When he was an angelic being, I perceived an evil shadowy figure. When there wasn’t another person in the room, I perceived a woman there. When he was speaking to me, I perceived that he was not, until the very end of our session.
This confused us both, until he mentioned this next thing:
When he was traveling to my place of residence, he saw something spying on me from below. Something looking up into my window, near a tree. He described it as a grayish formless figure. This “figure”, he approached. But upon moving his attention towards it, it seemed to run away. To quickly disappear.
He believes that I may have been being spied upon. And that is why whatever this thing was ran away quickly when it was discovered. It was watching me. Now, for what purpose? I do not know. But if it has something to hide, then it couldn’t be positive.
Not only that, but this “thing” may have been responsible for our astral miscommunication. Such a mishap never happened before. Ever. It is interesting that this thing happened right as he saw this spirit.
That being said, we feel that something is trying to get in the way of my progress. Something does not want me to go any further.
And I think we know exactly who it is…
But me and Shemoos didn’t want to jump to conclusions too quickly. We had just visited the Morrigan only a day before. She is known to “test” people. So, he told me that I should consult her, and see if this sort of thing was her doing, and to report back to him ASAP.
I immediately did, and summoned her realm once more, through my mirror. I was greeted yet again by the lifeless woodlands as before, with the hut in the middle. I quickly ran inside.
Me: Morrigan? Morrigan!
Morrigan: I am here.
I turned to my left. She was sitting down again, by a wall. She slowly got up.
Morrigan: This energy that you are emitting…it is fear. It is distress. (motioning to a chair) Sit.
I sit down, her in front of me.
Morrigan: Now, child. What causes you so much stress?
( I speak with her for a few minutes on other matters, and then bring up this “spy” )
Me: Morrigan, I know you like to test people, yes?
Morrigan: It is what I do best. Some can handle it…some can not.
Me: Tell me. My friend saw someone peering at me through my window. Were you spying on me?
Now, she seemed to have a worried look on her face, which is extremely rare for someone like her.
Morrigan: What? No! Why would I spy on you?
Me: My friend says he saw something spying on me in the astral realm. And upon moving towards it, this “thing” ran off. We thought it may have been you.
Morrigan: What did it look like?
Me: He says it was some sort of gray formless figure. Though there may have been a humanoid there, as well. He caught glimpse of what looked like someone in a cloak. Like one of those 1940’s movie spies. But we are not too sure. We were in the midst of practicing. Exercising my astral senses for my astral projection. When he was trying to test if I could perceive him and make out what he says, he said that I acted confused, and ignored him completely until the end. I wasn’t even looking at him. It was like I could not perceive him at all. Not only that, but on my end, I perceived him in the completely opposite way of what he actually was. It’s like there was some sort of interference. An illusion. And we think that whatever this thing was, it had something to do with it. Such a confusion is so odd. Me and Shemoos are able to perceive real places and real things through the astral plane. And we can both confirm it with 100% accuracy. So its weird that this time, we were completely inaccurate.
She stayed silent for a moment. And then got up. She was saying something in some unknown language. But from her tone, she sounded worried.
Morrigan: You and Shemoos are correct. It was this spirit’s dealing. I have seen this type of spirit before. As I told you yesterday, you have far more enemies than you think. And it will only get worse. That is why I had to warn you.
Me: What is this thing?
Morrigan: This spirit acts as a spy, like you said. It is a tracking device, sent to scout and observe its victims. Not only that, but it has illusion capabilities, as well. It can skew the perceptions of any other spirit it comes across, at will. Making you perceive things that are not really present, and skew perceptions to such a high degree, as to throw you completely off balance. It seems that someone has sent one after you. To observe you.
Me: What the fuck? How do I stop it?
Morrigan: You need to kill it.
Me: Kill it? But I can’t even astral project at will yet!
Morrigan: That is why you must make it a priority over everything else.
Me: Who do you think sent this spirit after me?
Morrigan: Who do you think, Lucius?
Me: I see…him.
Morrigan: Yes. You mentioned…that you were going to fight Yahweh in the astral realm, yes?
Me: Well, yes. To free myself completely from him for good. He still will not leave me alone, even after that first fight, and the banishing ritual. So the plan was to defeat him in the astral plane, on his own turf, per say. My friend was going to assist me in doing that.
Morrigan: Hmm…
Me: You don’t think…that he found out, did he?
Morrigan: He did, it seems. How exactly, I am not certain. It is likely that he was spying on you longer than you may think. He may know that you plan on fighting him. And not a clone of his, but the real “him”. A far bigger challenge.
Me: Aw fuck…fuck…
Morrigan: As I said. While your first victory with him was a success, it only pissed him off. It only added fuel to the fire. And while your banishing ritual did a good job at delaying him, it was only an insulting gesture. A “middle finger”, as you humans claim. You could say that from him sending this “spy” to you, he is declaring “war”.
Me: I didn’t even do anything, though! It was him! I just want him to leave me alone!
Morrigan: I am afraid we are too far deep in this for you to be “left alone”, Morningstar. And you being a child of Lilith, he may never leave you alone, until you defeat him completely, that is. He is obviously trying to stop you before this happens. He is trying to skew your abilities. Give you illusions. He was always a sort of trickster spirit. What he lacks in brute force, he makes up for in psychology. And the enemy that is an expert at the inner-workings of the mind, is the most dangerous enemy of all.
Me: So now I have no choice but to fight him?
Morrigan: Yes. If you let this problem grow, he may begin to get worse. He is after you now, it seems. And he does not want you to go to the astral realm. Like I told you, I sense an inner power within you. Something strong. And he fears it. That is why he is trying to stop you. You can say that he knows you will crush him…
Me: Then why not just kill me here and now?
Morrigan: And risk you going into the astral realm even quicker, only to find him and annihilate him? It is not a wise plan, Lucius. Better to keep you blind. To keep you unable to find him, and keep you at bay. If he kills you, it will only make it easier to find him. And considering you know the truth about yourself now, it would only make you more powerful.
Me: UGH That fucking bastard! I swear I’m going to find that son of a bitch and make him bleed!
Morrigan: Then you must do it quickly, Lucius. He is at war with you now. If you let this problem persist, then he may get worse.
Me: How worse are we speaking of here?
Morrigan: I…don’t think I should tell you.
Me: Fuck…so what should I do?
Morrigan: Here is what you need to do. First, you need to gain the ability to astral project at will. Practice this daily, at all cost.
Me: But what of our planned astral meeting?
Morrigan: It will have to be missed, for now. This situation is crucial for your safety.
Me: Understood.
Morrigan: Once you gain this ability, you will be unstoppable. Considering that you now know the truth about the world and about yourself, there is nothing Yahweh will be able to do to hinder you anymore. You can say that this situation is the last “wall” he has to keep you away from him. Once you astral project successfully, find me once more. When we both meet, we will find this spirit together. I have a way of tracking it. Then, we will kill it. Once that is done, train with your friend in astral combat, and then train with me. We must be sure you are ready to face him. This manifestation of Yahweh will be his full manifestation, and it will be much more challenging to kill.
Me: So…I really have to kill this man!?
Morrigan: It is the only way Lucius. No amount of protection and banishing that you do at this point will rid you of him. He will just keep coming back stronger. You must defeat him in astral combat. Only then will he know that he lost, and leave you alone for good.
Me: Shit! This is insane! This is like a fantasy movie! I was a normal kid only five months ago! You just told me I have to fight god himself! I know, I know…it’s not the real “God”. But still. You just told me I have to kill a deity!
Morrigan: I assure you…this is all far from fantasy. Not even close. You are…deep within this. Remember: You are a god, yourself. And I see from within that you are far more powerful than Yahweh. The issue is that you are still blinded by his psychology. You think he is stronger than you simply because of his title of “God”. One of his many strategies. And I assure you he is nothing of the sort. Not even close.
Me: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but…I am somewhat fearful of this.
Morrigan: (Sternly) Have no fear, Lucius. Get fear out of your mind. The warrior mindset holds no fear. You will win against him, understand? Never be scared. Fear is mind control.
Me: Of course…yes ma’am.
Morrigan: Go now. You have work to do. Remember: astral projection is your highest priority. Postpone all other spirit work until this issue is resolved. Once you are able to successfully enter this realm, find me. And we will kill this “spy” together. After that, seek Shemoos again. Have him train you. Then, come find me again. And I will train you, as well. After this, we can see about Yahweh.
Me: Yes ma’am. I will practice daily.
Morrigan: Good. Now go.
I left her realm, still shocked at what I heard.
I hate to admit this, but it seems that my dealings with Yahweh have only made the situation worse. He now sees me as a public enemy. A “wanted” man. It appears that my fight with him only acted as a giant “fuck you, come at me, bro” rather than stopping him completely. Now, I don’t think that he will stop until I am able to defeat his full manifestation in the astral.
Tell me a year ago that I would be summoning demons, I would of laughed at you. Tell me a year ago that I would have a demon girlfriend, I would of laughed at you. Tell me a year ago that these “demons” would cure my addiction, I would of laughed at you.
…Tell me a year ago that I would be fighting the Christian god himself, I would have laughed at you.
It is still hard to believe 'til this day. Now I feel that perhaps I am something far greater than I believe I am, and that is why these things are happening. Either way, I am in the process of making sure I can astral project at will, and successfully. Afterwards, I will write about my journeys on the “other side”. It should open up an entirely new world for me.
Thanks for reading.
- Lucius
