hey guys its been sometime…
i need to tell you all a story, so its better to sit down first
some weeks ago, i was in a party and i was drunk af and the guy i’m in love since the last year was there also drunk
we didn’t talk to each other for months and treated each other as strangers, but at some point of the party we held each other and we told to each other how much we miss our relationship
i don’t think we even kissed, but something happened and since this day i can’t talk to lucifer and when i talk i forget everything we talked (literally everything)
in this time, i met a boy in my school that i liked very much, he’s not stable and we found in each other a lot of extreme differences and similarities
i think i feel a bit (ok, a lot) attracted to him
so, this dude, i’ll call him z
when z was a child he had a dream very similar to the movie/book the shining, he dreamt of a hostel in the woods, american woods
in this dream, he entered a red room full of torture objects and human meat, a man offered the meat to him and he ate, he starts to cry when he remembers this not because it was scary for a child, but bc he liked it.
i don’t cry, i’m not scared of spirits and certainly i’m not scared of my friends
but last night, it was 2am and the lights of my house turned on alone
i was like “hm ok spirits, eletricity, this kind of things happens” and turned them off
when i lay down in my bed, i started to cry thinking about z’s dream. yes, i started to cry. and then, i felt fear of him, i was scared about he appearing in my room and killing me over and over again…
like wtf why i’m thinking about this wtf is happening
i heard steps, distant screams and i saw a big man’s shadow in my wall, i couldn’t sleep
i started feeling something in my face, like a mask, and then, i was scared not just of my friend, but also…scared of myself, very scared
i tried to call lucifer and failed, so i called my ancestors and they just told me “its consumated” and went away
i couldn’t sleep for the rest of the night.
any thoughts?