Lucifer doesn't like self pity

Feels good when I get that feeling is like drinking cold water after you get really dehydrated, Idk is hard to explain! but it feels awsome!

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Aww :’( Same- I was bad with self injury in high school because of abuse things too. I also quit after I left home. Well, save for a couple instances where I’ve gotten myself into abusive relationships that created similar situations as home. But, overall, I’ve quit and have been doing fine for two years now. :slight_smile:

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Interesting. I tried contacting him and I felt like I got a similar response. I apologized tonight for how I worded things when I contacted him. The synchronicity itself is like an answer to me already, just without the hearing part.

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Its interesting… i just asked myself, that maybe that im able to move on,
out of those circular thoughts of disability and “they did wrong”-talk, because,
at those times, i tend to pickup some of the chants that lay around
-granted, it does not manifest anything, but seems to help desolving the shit thats in my head at these times.

Ironicly, most often after such incidents, i come to think something like “see? nothing happened, and im on my own in this bullshit as usual” -maybe not, maybe what those EXTREMELY patient gods do, is to sigh, really, really hard, and then throw some imaginative rock at my head, in order to make the crap bounce out. And they would sigh -again, as im still too ignorant, too blind to notice their intervention.

(°O° ’ ) of course… everything on my part looks small from your positions,
i dont wanna think about how gods see it.
~As it is so common amongst human kind, they might think its our nature to do so.
But what do i know?

:crying_cat_face: …oh gods… :sob: so cute

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Well done on the new stronger you! It takes someone ( even if it is lucifer) to kick a person up the arse and make them see their issues. A little story for you I had a massive drug habit, something I’m not proud of but there it is, I was constantly on it I did it when I was upset, celebrating, or for any other reason I could conjure (no pun intended), I’d tried to commit suicide 17 times once with a massive amount (nearly 500ml/1g per 5 ml) of morphine liquid (even the doctors couldn’t believe I wasn’t dead, then I had this dream about belial and he sat at the edge of my bed, told me in no uncertain terms to get a grip of myself and I’d got so much to learn and he would teach me everything. I thought I was wasted from all the drugs but then I started to get bettter, I got a dream move to a new house in an area I could only dream about, I went from 61/2 stone to 9st I look healthy instead of like a junkie and he came again about a month ago and said the same thing, this time he actually lay on top of me and ever since I feel like a different person, I don’t take any shit, I don’t take any drugs and I haven’t considered suicide! Hunny this is the start of a new you, I like the term reborn I think that just about sums it up! Good luck to you not that you not that you need it with Lucifer on your side :wink:

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That should say 10mg per 5 ml lol not 1 lol :rofl:

Who does? Self pity is a disgustingly ugly emotion! Kill it with extravagant lightning. :):slightly_smiling_face:

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Really? I got a different outcome… I wanted to kill myself because I was tired of the abusive situation I was in and the debt and everything. I was begging Lucifer to please kill me or let me kill myself (I’ve never even been able to lay a scratch on myself my whole life. And taking pills makes me throw up but then feel healthier than ever the next day.

I cried so hard my eyes bruised and my throat felt raw and caused the taste of blood. I held my ceramic knife the whole time. I felt like my whole being was shredding apart. For the next few days I had terrible depression and felt really alone. Maybe he stepped away from me for a second.

But now I feel stronger. I’m finally dreaming again (I get all my clairvoyance from dreams and hadnt had them often in a long time.) I’ve been really wanting to get a ring with his sigil and wear it on my left finger (a strong feeling I’ve been getting for the past two days. But the suicide thing happened a week or so back now.) And everything seems to be going more favorably for me. And my powers seem to be working on high gear now. Even at work yesterday, I was busy and I saw a customer meandering around. In my mind I said “Leave.” In a sharp commanding tone and the man immediately walked out.

It might be because of who I was in my past life though. Not sure. I’ve been too nervous and embarrassed to talk to him lately.

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Actually… now that I think on it I have also been feeling more rage than my depression. And I also feel massive dizziness today and have been getting odd looks from customers when they look in my eyes. Hmm… and very very hot when I wake up as well. Which is crazy because I sleep with my air conditioner on even in the winter.

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