If you know me, you know that I’ve been going through some pretty heavy-duty shit as of late, I was sitting over here, allowing myself to be lost in my own misery, I decided turn on the enn of Lucifer, just to see if I could get any kind of a feeling from it, just take my mind off of everything.
While I was listening to it I went to the mirror, and I just started gazing into it.
I started hearing a voice telling me to let go of the counter, after a moment, it said I’d again, so I let go, and my legs just went out from underneath me and I collapsed onto the floor.
I was immobile, my eyes closed and I could feel heat all around me.
The same voice start berating me, telling me that he doesn’t approve of self-pitying bullshit, thoughts of self-harm, or indeed this other stuff that I’ve been considering.
He also said that he would gladly exchange my depression for anger, but if I ever looked at another razor blade in a favorable light again, I would have to deal with him, and not in a good way. He told me that I had hurt my succubus emotionally, and she had interceded with Lucifer on my behalf to beg me to stop.
As I I am writing this, I’m gathering up my razors and I’m throwing them away, and I have a new found strength that has been brought to me.
It’s true, when you’re at your lowest, there’s a being there to help you, but I better not piss him off, he didn’t sound pleased.
I have to say thank you to my succubus for everything she’s done for me to this point, she truly does care for me, and I truly know that she does indeed love me, and I love her for everything she’s done for me, and this is definitely a prime example of the love that our succubi are capable of.
Hail, Lucifer. And thank you, not sure what I was going to do with the next few hours in my life. But I will never cut again, it doesn’t do anything favorable anymore, but also I have a prime decree from Lucifer himself.
I have been going out a pretty dark Road lately, maybe this is the culmination of it.
Edit to add: My phone stopped working, losing all connection. When I stood up after all of this was done, I had to reset my phone.
That’s a good thing to take away from this. There are steps we can all take to improve the enjoyment of our own lives, if we value ourselves enough to take those steps.