What is the difference, and how do we tell?
The answer for me is often times in the feeling. Does it feel like magick?
There’s a very distinct feeling to it. For most practitioners, this shouldn’t be an issue to pick up. Otherwise, divination is naturally your best bet. But if you live in a First World Country and you’re not specifically around magicians, then it is going to be extremely rare that you are cursed.
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Yeah … no. Going with poor life decisions for a hundred.
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Poor life decisions, trying to get my ex back.
Does the cause actually matter if the outcome is the same?
Pick one, decide how to remedy it, do the work to remedy it, and move on.
The diagnosis is important to the treatment.
true, but for that we need to know the symptoms. 
poor life decisions, curses, and unknowingly being under a love spell might have some overlap in output, and OP can do a divination to figure out which it is, but in my case, regardless, i’d be doing some sort of uncrossing ritual and then another for protection. which is what i’d recommend for any of the three, maybe with some introspection or “shadow work” for the third.