Saturn is my ascendant planet and is my soul significator as per Jaimini astrology, a form of Vedic astrology. I have a weird love-hate relationship with the planet.
For a while I will be so in awe of the planet, think about him, recite mantras after shower, whenever I see group of 8s on number plates on vehicles, I pray to him. Most of the time when I’m doing such things I get validation in terms of tingling sensations on my body, a text comes on my phone, sometimes Saturn mantra itself shows up on an astrology app as it would be Saturn hora then etc.,
After a while suddenly old records play in my mind about how miserable my life is and I attribute all to Saturn for blocking major areas of my life till date…love, relationships and sex. Then I abuse him profusely for a while and then again go back to him begging for forgiveness. I think he forgives me because for the amount of abuse I do, I don’t get punished even a little. This cycle repeats.
I’m looking for ways to avoid this and I genuinely want to work without all this drama. How do I get over my childish tendencies?
Looking for suggestions from members who worked exclusively with Saturn or his different forms.
Thank you, have a good weekend.