What I want to get out of magik is personal growth. To be able to control my life. I do not have a system in mind. Im eclectic.
Can’t wait to read the responses to this.
People get snobbish about wicca but very few of us were born clutching our mother’s dripping heart in one taloned claw, and hissing “Hail Satan, darkness is All” at the midwife, most of us are on a journey with this stuff, which includes exploring things we later find fault with.
I used to do a lot of energy work/healing and my advice is play to your strengths - look back at what you did, get back in practice (find some willing or unwilling recipients for healing, for example) and get back the feeling of being competent in one area, that will then help lead you to the next.
You could also try contacting some demons who are involved in healing, like Marbas or Buer, and ask them if they’ll mentor you. That might look like, at first, just going by intuition or getting some divination done, and then consecrating the work you do yourself in their name, or something - they probably won’t pop up in your front room and say “Let’s go” but working gets the attention of spirits like nothing else because most people are too lazy or entitled to think they have to do anything.
Human mentors are great but not the only answer - I’m not saying “don’t ask” or that you won’t get one, but spirit mentors are excellent and if you look at what you already bring to the table, that might help you find one.
And of course they don’t just need to be demons: the classical gods, or Hindu gods, or angels, they’re all very powerful, and the right spirit will mentor you and with any luck become a lifelong, or at least long-term, ally.
Sorry if that’s not what you’re asking but it’s what worked for me over several years, so ahead of anything more constructive being posted, it’s what I think might be worth looking into.
My problem is right now is that even if I envoke a demon I cant see or hear them. Thats why im asking for help. I need to build a foundation to a point where I can see or hear them to ask for their help. The only thing I got from wicca is being able to control weather. I have read books as well as forum but it just gets more and more confusing.
So you have a foundation. Weather control. Build on it.
My foundation was a painless unassisted childbirth using self-hypnosis and astral travel to meet my unborn child. A timely suggestion (Thanks, Lady Eva!) to explore shamanic journeying, and pack of tarot cards from a dear friend added an obscene amount of control over my mental/emotional/spiritual state. So by the end of this year’s hiatus I’ve gone from nervous breakdown, continual pain, suicidal/homicidal depression (couldn’t imagine leaving the kiddies without a mum, you see), constant flashbacks, inability to concentrate/focus, unceasing nausea, hating my son for representing every failure I’ve made,…to the well rounded human I am today (who gives weekly blood offerings to demons, has a spirit duck warrior protector, believes her tarot deck likes guiding her through the day, has a fantastic astral adventure program, and a magic experimental garden).
So, yes, its glorious being in control. Its also whatcha do with whatcha got that counts.
That’s really nothing to sneeze at, you know. And I’m pretty sure your list could be longer if you look at it from a resume/cv perspective. Make yourself worthy of helping (that simply means knowing you are the most valuable person in your universe), and the demons will make evocation happen with you rather than for you.
Why not strike up daily one-sided conversations with a demon specializing in weather control during your evokations? Write down all the responses that pop into your head. Write down your entire damned conversations. Time after time. Then, when the voice in your head gradually (or suddenly) makes it obvious that its not you being looney, but that there really is someone else in there…
You could also try contacting some demons who are involved in healing, like Marbas or Buer, and ask them if they'll mentor you.OP if you take this approach, be very respectful. Marbas can do more than heal.
Vprotas, those of us who study magick all want personal growth and control over our lives. Most people do. That said, no matter which path you take it will lead to that end eventually if you are open to taking that journey. It may help to shrink your focus to something a little more tangible at first, then go for the rest over time.
In the here and now, what do you want to use magick for?
In other words, if you could use it to do anything, what would you use it for? Answering that will tell you what subject to study first (which will eventually jump you to your next subject) and will also help a would-be mentor know if they can help you with that first step.
If all you honestly want is personal growth and control over your life, I can point you to a number of non-magickal self-help sources for that.
So you need to develop clairaudience and/or clairvoyance. It’s not as difficult as it sounds. Something like meditating for 30 minutes a day with the intent of developing these skills will bring it along quickly. Also experimenting with psychic art and automatic writing.
You may be already doing it but doubting yourself and blocking it out, it’s important to learn to trust yourself and the impressions that pop into your mind no matter how obscure they seem.
Sit down with a sigil and the intent of communicating with an angel, demon or whatever. It’ll flow into your mind like pictures.
I learned fairly quickly by going to spiritualist churches and taking their development classes, then I used those skills to help me with magick. You could also go to a graveyard, sit by a grave and talk to a dead person, they’re always desperate to talk and be noticed. It just takes practice and dedication.