Long time lurking ... glad to join finally join!

Hi everyone.

I’ve been lurking for a while.

I finally decided to sign up. Plenty of time at home now!

When I was young I went to music school and explored the occult, but was raised Roman Catholic so I had all kinds of built in ideas about good and evil. I had some traumatic experiences at the hands of someone who claimed to be both god and the devil. This messed me up; to keep my sanity, I decided that if I couldn’t prove it, it didn’t exist.

So I went to school for religious studies, then philosophy, then science (cosmology) and medicine. I got my PhD in Philosophy of Science and taught university.

I gave that all up, moved to Los Angeles, and started working on music again. My life utterly changed for the better.

Nearly two years ago I met someone who became important to me. During this time, the closer I got to this person, the more I had these episodes where I felt like I was being attacked. One night my friend showed me a video about demon possession and I became very agitated. I realized that the only other time I felt this sense of being attacked was when I was younger and going through trauma.

Something clicked and I wondered if I was being attacked somehow psychically or spiritually. The attacks were intense, felt like knives tearing apart my thoughts and ideas, confusing me. In desperation, I found some chaos magick and tried to create a shield.

To my utter shock and amazement, the relief was instant.

Keep in mind, I was a science chick and didn’t believe in anything supernatural (not sure I do even now … all seems pretty natural to me … it only looks super because we don’t understand it …).

But the relief couldn’t be denied.

I found The Gallery of Magick online and got in touch with an old friend who was seriously into ceremonial magick. He advised me to start working on Adam Blackthorne’s sigil book. It was perfect for me to start with.

I dove in and haven’t looked back.

Strangely enough, at the same time I had an opportunity to sing with a famous Grammy winning gospel artist. I thought it was a great way to train my voice so I joined the choir.

There’s something special going on there spiritually. The band and I are not in the church, but we all feel “the spirit” get hold of us when doing gospel, especially contemporary gospel. I don’t get it, but I love it so I continue to enjoy it.

I have no idea the level of drama that would ensue if my Xtian associates knew what I do instead of talking and praying to Jesus. I’m not a Xtian, but it has turned into a don’t ask don’t tell situation.

I do invite spirits to church with me as an experiment. It was hysterical one time; the pastor was preaching and the phone next to me on the pulpit that is not supposed to be hooked up and never rang over the year I had been singing with them, rang. Everyone stopped dead in shock. Someone ran over, picked up the phone, hung it up, it kept ringing. They then pulled the receiver off the hook and left it hanging! I swear I felt Lucifer laughing.

I have done so much work over the past year, friends have commented on how I’ve changed for the better. I’m so grateful that I stumbled back into this. I have felt lost and broken for years, but now I feel like I’m on my path and life just flows.

Once I did the internal work on providence and abundance, money magick began working in insane ways. I started an online store. When I did some money magick and renamed the store after Nitika, a deluge of orders came flooding in! I get small settlement and refund checks all the time in the mail now, people undercharge me in stores all the time. My credit score went up over 100 points. The atm shorted me $80, but credited my account for $100. I don’t care about money, but I think it’s so cool that my life is so much easier. I think that’s why this it works so well for me. I’m starting wealth work after the money success, although with current events I’ve moved to the new Brand material in Success Magick.

The attacks are affecting me a lot less now, but they still come hard. I am still doing defensive work. They still come frequently enough remain a concern, but I am capable of recognizing the moment and defending myself now. I may start a thread about this because I can’t believe it’s gone on this long and I could use some insight. I’m pretty sure I understand what’s going on, but I really want it to end. I’m doing Brand’s Master Protection and Break a Curse. Any advice would be appreciated.

So hello all!

MusicMage

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Welcome to the BALG forum.

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Welcome!

I do enjoy your posts. Thanks!

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Thanks!:smile:

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