[quote=“ashtkerr, post:19, topic:7938”]It is a frail kind of masculinity that seeks a partner who is emotionally insecure. True masculinity can handle a strong and independent woman.
That said, I am gay, and I am attracted to men. What happens to my active force when I have sex with my boyfriend (or some random guy). This is why I think that this straight masculine and feminine attributes is bullshit. Because, what about me? If I am on the bottom during sex am I acting in the receptive energies? But, I’m a man.
This whole energy thing really breaks down when it comes to homos like me. Because, I am not looking for my energetic opposite, I’m looking for someone who can be my friend and my lover.
I completely agree with Arcane’s post, I think he’s spot on. I’m just tired of people generalizating masculine and feminine energies like it’s that easy. Because, I break the pattern, and either my sexuality is in fact energetically dysfunctional (which I haven’t experienced) or any given persons masculine and feminine energies are extremely individualized.[/quote]
Yeah I noticed a lot of people here have very idealized views of how they think sexuality and gender should be. I mean I can kind of understand this for regular non magic people, but since I got involved in the occult I have seen and experienced some weird shit. I mean I have energetically turned into a giant bug and had sex with another giant bug for example. So based on my experiences my views on sexuality are a little different then your average person . I would think that getting deeply involved in the occult would wreck any pre conceived attachments and ideals about how sex or anything else in our world works based on my own experiences. But I dunno, maybe I’m just weird even by other magical persons standards, anyone else ever had consensual sex with a giant spirit bug? I mean physically I’m not really into that but on the higher spiritual level that sort of thing tends to happen to me now and then.
There’s a distinction between male/female energy and masculinity/femininity. The male and female energies are archetypical whereas masculinity and femininity are psychological/biological. Female energy is the dominant energy.
in that regard and to exemplify, high status alphas from both sexes would score high with female energy. Betas would carry more male energy.
All these masculine men that get destroyed and become subordinates to their feminine spouses, is the result of low male energy meeting with high female energy.
Men that want to become alphas they have to go through a process of raising their female energy, masculinity doesn’t hurt but is optional. Everything else is faking an alpha (what most dating coaches promote) which is not sustainable.
[quote=“defectron, post:21, topic:7938”][quote=“ashtkerr, post:19, topic:7938”]It is a frail kind of masculinity that seeks a partner who is emotionally insecure. True masculinity can handle a strong and independent woman.
That said, I am gay, and I am attracted to men. What happens to my active force when I have sex with my boyfriend (or some random guy). This is why I think that this straight masculine and feminine attributes is bullshit. Because, what about me? If I am on the bottom during sex am I acting in the receptive energies? But, I’m a man.
This whole energy thing really breaks down when it comes to homos like me. Because, I am not looking for my energetic opposite, I’m looking for someone who can be my friend and my lover.
I completely agree with Arcane’s post, I think he’s spot on. I’m just tired of people generalizating masculine and feminine energies like it’s that easy. Because, I break the pattern, and either my sexuality is in fact energetically dysfunctional (which I haven’t experienced) or any given persons masculine and feminine energies are extremely individualized.[/quote]
Yeah I noticed a lot of people here have very idealized views of how they think sexuality and gender should be. I mean I can kind of understand this for regular non magic people, but since I got involved in the occult I have seen and experienced some weird shit. I mean I have energetically turned into a giant bug and had sex with another giant bug for example. So based on my experiences my views on sexuality are a little different then your average person . I would think that getting deeply involved in the occult would wreck any pre conceived attachments and ideals about how sex or anything else in our world works based on my own experiences. But I dunno, maybe I’m just weird even by other magical persons standards, anyone else ever had consensual sex with a giant spirit bug? I mean physically I’m not really into that but on the higher spiritual level that sort of thing tends to happen to me now and then.[/quote]
In my experience, there’s no distinction between male and female energies, and the more you work with it, the more elusive it gets. The aspect of these energies share treats to both genders, and it’s basically stashed in a blender with the result of it being more about compatibility than what sex it has.
If you are sensitive, compassionate, caring and loving, does that make you feminine, even if you are a male?
If you are aggressive and dominant, does that make you masculine, even if you are a female?
But if you adapt to a specific scenario and use either “treats” to handle the situation successfully, what are you called then? A hermaphrodite!?
Spirits challenge our perceptions of what we learned through the human society, and they do this all the time.
Male, female, dark or light. We all have this within ourselves, and spirits are no exception. But to function in a long term relationship with them, we need to find balance to the opposite forces of the human norm. Why limit ourselves by distinctions of a gender, when it’s all about compatibility?
First off, most of you in this thread on the second page are completely wrong about these energies. Go to YouTube an watch Arash Dibazar talk about male and female in his latest videos. I had a small debate in my head regarding Lilith and femininity, but that is resolved.
If you are a man and you don’t want a submissive woman, you aren’t masculine enough. Learn from Arash Dibazar.
[quote=“desmonX, post:25, topic:7938”]First off, most of you in this thread on the second page are completely wrong about these energies. Go to YouTube an watch Arash Dibazar talk about male and female in his latest videos. I had a small debate in my head regarding Lilith and femininity, but that is resolved.
If you are a man and you don’t want a submissive woman, you aren’t masculine enough. Learn from Arash Dibazar.[/quote]
I rather learn from my own experience, than from others opinions of certain subjects.
What is your experiences of energies? Do you sense it? Feel it physically? Do you see it? Or, are you too dependent of what others have to say about it, that you can’t make up your own conclusions of what it means for you?
Personally I find submissive women to be boring and it goes against my policy to spend any signifigant amount of time with a boring person regardless of what the relationship is. But yeah based on my own experiences the universe is a lot more complicated then the opinion of some guy on youtube.
But yeah, putting lillith aside other beings such as Durga , Hine nui Teppo and Kali are all examples of dominant female energy. If you can think of a variation of energy it exists as I believe all possibilities are represented somewhere, and this is a really basic variation that has a strong presence in our timeline. But putting that aside, the real proof that this has a legitimate place in the universe is looking at nature, getting back to the example of the black widow and the praying mantis, often times the expected gender roles of humans are reversed in the animal kingdom, and you don’t even usually don’t see guys eating their wives either.
Off the bat, you don’t learn to be more masculine by listening to dating coaches; you develop this by doing the things men have ‘traditionally’ done to become tough as nails. That’s not something you can learn in a seminar, it’s something earned by doing. And ‘tough as nails’ isn’t exclusive to men only, just talking about the masculine archetype here.
I did this to be able to work with the extreme polarities of masculine and feminine within myself: Evocation Of My Personal Daemon - desmonX, you’re reasonably young (hope you don’t mind me mentioning that) and your aspiration to a specific type of manhood is understandable and healthy IMO, if that’s what you know yourself to naturally harmonise with, so go to it.
You may want to have more experience of dating females before generalising about them, or indeed about what you want in a short-term fling or long-term life partnership, but that will happen whether anyone lectures you online or not!
IMO a magician needs to know where he/she/ze/it stands with their own self-identity and sexuality, but also - no matter how secure and how much they embrace that most of the time - be able to command their consciousness into any state of mind, be it extremely feminine (which as Valkarath correctly points out, is about being receptive, a different thing to submissive - a submissive mother is something of a paradox, for example), extremely masculine, or anywhere else.
I advise finding a copy of the Kybalion online (it’s out of copyright and there should be plenty of links) and reading the chapter on Gender, that outlines what these mean in a magickal context (as opposed to romantic and social).
And IMO, what you naturally daydream about will show you who and what you are, who and what you WANT, so be true to your dreams.
One can be a good magician and still have deficits on knowledge or experience in other areas - I do. So, I give people the benefit of the doubt.
There’s so much tension and anger between men and women right now, it’s stupid, most individual people on both “sides” (and gay or straight or whatever) just want to be happy, have a little fun, usually find someone special they can trust, to build a life with.
But men are in the wrong every time they open their mouths, expected to thought-police themselves to a marxist-feminist agenda that never ceases expanding in its outrage and contempt, while women still face significant injustices, whilst also being told to become astronauts, Barbie dolls, maintain fat-free bodies (a biological impossibility for a healthy fertile female) and be ever vigilant for “oppression.”
No-one’s teaching people to become parents, to value parenting, or to compromise with the psychological and emotional differences of the other sex.
It’s fucked up, a cynical mind might say it looks awfully like an agenda to mess with people’s minds and stop them having happy marriages and raising secure families, but whether or not there’s an agenda that does seem to be the effect of this maniacal polarisation of the sexes that’s going on at present.
If desmonX was my son, it would break my heart, the conflicting pressures and inevitable backlashes, that just create a nasty reactive cycle.
I know Im really really late on this but submissive women are NOT weak. They are probably the strongest people you will ever meet.
Because I choose to submit to my Master and raise him up above myself could be the greatest gift he would ever recieve.
Submission is a rare and beautiful gift, that does not equal dormat.
If I choose to totally surrender and give my power to my Dominant that should in fact make him feel 100 times more empowered.
But he should also respect me, care for me and protect me.
And just because I am submissive does not give anyone the right to walk all over me and I can and I will flip shit if need be
I am under no obligation other my dominants to obey, and serve.
And if choose to serve you in some way you should be appreciative.
Now, having said all that I get it. Its whatever floats your boat. Some guys like submissive girls some guys like dominant girls. I just wanted to clear up the notion that submissives are weak or not strong and independent. Im strong and single and independent. I pay my own bills.
But I am submissive Id rather be kneeling at my Masters feet or serving him in some way. Even the simple boring, mundane stuff like cooking and cleaning
And if you ever want see a submissive get pissed disrespect her Master. She will F#!$ you up!
I know submissive men and women and people who are switches. Meaning they can be dominant or submissive. I know women who just want to be babygirls and have a Daddy dom. Although thats not ny style I dont really care for ribbons and bows and sippie cups. I rather have collars and leashes and chains and whips and rope and leather and blindfolds and …ohhh sorry i got carried away.
Anyways, just my two cents getting thrown it
I can agree about that, and being submissive doesn’t equal being “weak”. The same goes for men being into the emotional currents, and maybe not being fit into the typical norm of masculinity.
But submissive women within the BDSM world, can be very judgemental if the man doesn’t fit into the norm of “how” a man “should” be, in her world. Some of them tends to lean more of being “dominant” rather than actual submissive, which basically ends in a one way decision when it comes into roleplaying in the bedroom. She make the script, and the man basically plays along to satisfy her submissive needs. Of course not all men and women are that way, but being a part of a forum within the subject of BDSM did gave me a glimpse of stereotypes and norms of submissive women acting in a facade and masks their dominant nature with a submissive front. These kind of sites tends to be very selective when they also welcomes people who feel like an outsider in the society. Which is sad, because it’s an interesting lifestyle.
I can agree about that, and being submissive doesn’t equal being “weak”. The same goes for men being into the emotional currents, and maybe not being fit into the typical norm of masculinity.
But submissive women within the BDSM world, can be very judgemental if the man doesn’t fit into the norm of “how” a man “should” be, in her world. Some of them tends to lean more of being “dominant” rather than actual submissive, which basically ends in a one way decision when it comes into roleplaying in the bedroom. She make the script, and the man basically plays along to satisfy her submissive needs. Of course not all men and women are that way, but being a part of a forum within the subject of BDSM did gave me a glimpse of stereotypes and norms of submissive women acting in a facade and masks their dominant nature with a submissive front. These kind of sites tends to be very selective when they also welcomes people who feel like an outsider in the society. Which is sad, because it’s an interesting lifestyle.[/quote]
Yes, you do make a good point. And believe your referring to women who like to top from the bottom. Most old school doms wont go for it. And she could get punished for being what is called a sammy. Gosh, I dont remember how it got that. name lol. And alot of female submissives now like to be babygirls and brats.
I was trained more old school and being a brat really wasnt acceptable.
It is the Doms responsibility to set the rules and pace. Escpecially for a “scene” (usually involves being freaky but not always) most subs will at some point test their Dom. To see if he is going to be strict, firm , lenient whatever. Basically, kinda like a teenager seeing what all they can get away with.
It should never be exceptable for a sub to control the Dom. Not even topping from the bottom.
Which is basically shes acting as a sub but shes telling the Dom to spank her or whatever.
Also, the Dom and sub should have taken time to get to know each before they entered the realtionship. So, there wont be any of the Dom living out the subs fantasy life.
Its like dating. And the serious ones take it very serious. Its alot more than excepting a wedding ring. Once you are collared to your Dom. He is in control.
There are various degrees of control which are agreed upon before hand.
How much is the Dom gonna control? I usually say he but of course this could flipped for a Mistress.
Is it gonna be a TPE > total power exchange
In that case the Dom/Master would control everything, from what she eats to when eats. What she wears, when she sleeps, where she sleeps, how long she sleeps, what she does during the day. Usually providing a chore list.
In most realtionships though that just isnt possible, you both have to work. Blah blah life. So you make it work based what is actually possible and what will work.
Most subs and Doms have limits and there checklists you can find. Thats basically a list of what your really really want, you want, you dont want but would willing to try, and things you absolutely will not.
Like with all my extreme submissiveness spit grosses me out!! I will literally gag if I see spit. I cant even watch that part on Tatanic where jack is teaching rose to spit and then he has spit on his face…haha omg I have to leave room!! But blood Im cool
So as much as i always want to please my Dom Id have to be honest and say look me and spit just dont work to well.
Anyway, I dont think you asked for all that but Im wide awake at 4am so why not write a mini book lol
