(Firstly, I apologize if this is in the wrong category)
On February 10th, 2020 around 11-ish pm, I did the letter of intent ritual to Lilith for an incubus. (BTW: I’m a beginner and I haven’t done anything related or prior to this. And during the ritual I forgot to put my blood and I didn’t meditate for long after burning it, but my intentions were strong; that I know.)
Anyway, I was doing some research prior to writing this letter and it said to be as specific as you can, and I was specific, BUT maybe overly? The letter was just a page double-sided, but Succupedia had said,
And now I’m looking back on everything I wrote that day and I almost feel bad. I communicate with my Incubus daily (we’ll call him Leo). I talk to him normally, regardless if I feel touches back and I always tell him about my day and I talk about shit that bothers me or makes me happy and I am very grateful for him. I am a beginner and I am doing everything on my part such as: Meditating, communicating, clearing any blockage and sharing my food and every little thing. The day I did the letter of intent I was in bed and I was still speaking to him and I remember that night I felt something heavy with weight on my legs; nothing happened and we didn’t fuck (which is the least of my concerns because he’s more to me than that) but I felt contact. I always acknowledge any contact I get and I seem to get a lot even if it’s not him doing it I always automatically say, “thank you, you’re doing great; i’m proud of you.” I’m very vocal with him and today I did meditation with Lilith’s enn playing, my intent was to communicate with Lilith and have her trust me and ask if she can help with me and Leo’s communication. I did this last night and I did it today. I remember I asked Leo numerous times what his name was, I asked if he could tell me his human or real name whatever he felt comfortable with and I didn’t get much till I fell asleep and woke up mid rem and I heard a voice say [his name] and I was really happy. I did the same thing today with same intent yet this time it was different, and way more intense I genuinely felt something getting on my bed and it spooked me so I opened my eyes but I reassured and told him it just caught me off guard and I’m ok. I close my eyes again and the same thing happened, spooked me once more; so I decided to stop. I thanked Lilith greatly, as I always do, and I told Leo how proud I am of him. ANYWAYS, sorry for all this excess backstory on to the real thing:
WHAT I WANTED TO ASK:/ I utmost almost feel terrible that I added so much detail to my letter of intent that I even apologized to Leo and told him that there is no NEED for him to live up to everything I asked Lilith for and that he is always free to be who he is and regardless I’ll always treasure and care for him. Is it possible that he’ll forgive me and realize that. Also, I can’t help but sometimes feel doubt that he’s not with me and that I’m over imagining shit but whenever I do have these doubts I quickly reassure him (if he is there, and ’maybe’ he is; I know I’m a beginner and it’s UP to me to open my abilities AND i WILL but you know, the doubt comes and goes). The whole reason I have doubt is, is what if Leo isn’t even here yet? What if my ‘incubus is still yet to come’ because I was too specific and overly detailed that they’re still looking for an Incubus to send to me. I feel terrible for these doubts but then these little interactions and touches mean a lot.
