I think my 72 Challenge is having an effect. Something has changed.
I have been feeling more anger than usual. Not a seething, blow-up-at-the-tiniest-thing type of anger, but a sort of…annoyance at everything and everyone. The world itself has begun to irritate me. I’ve lost interest in movies to the point where I put them on just for some noise.
I have also found myself craving alcohol far more than usual.
I am ten spirits in so far, having evoked 5 angels of the Shemhamforash and 5 demons of the Goetia.
It feels different from my usual depressive episodes though. I just feel like giving up on everything. Magick, and life have no meaning. I feel like simply breathing is only happening because it is automatic.
My hip is out of place and it makes my legs tingle. I feel like I’m just wasting my time with the 72 Angels and Demons Challenge, like it isn’t doing anything, and I should focus on the “real” world.
Is this oppressive depression because of the operation? I’m only 12 spirits in, but could it be that, because I’m using both angels and demons, that crap is happening sooner rather than later?
Your not actually going to give up though are you. Its totally worth it to find out about these different beings.
I used to think the “real” world was all there was, and these made up beings were just fake fantasy. Now, I’ve come to realize how much all this stuff effects everything else, all the things that people see in the real world. It explains some things that would be inexplicable if you just tried to go with the mundane ideas.
I have been in a place like that before in my life as well, where i felt down like nothing mattered and i was wasting time on things. It happens when i am focusing too hard on something and not giving time to a diversity of things. So like if i was only doing spiritual studies, i would feel that way cuz there has to be a balance of worldly things and spirit things. Too much of one thing is a bad thing. Because we have to let loose and just watch movies and laugh or be silly and we also have to have deeper meaning and do spiritual stuff. If i let myself get too much into one thing, its exciting at first but then it feels like i am drowning in that thing. So its good to dip your toes in many things so that u dont get burned out. I study for a while then i watch tv. I read a book for a few days then ill binge watch netflix for a few days. I also try new hobbies to keep life from getting mundane.
I have found that as well, but it gets hard when I realize I’m not putting enough time into my goals and I feel like I am fooling around too much. For me it gets hard to sit down and focus on stuff. Spiritual stuff also feels like a waste of time when I feel like I should do more mundane stuff even though I know I need to do the spiritual stuff.
Yes i should be meditating more often but i work full time plus part time on the side so its hard to find time for that sometimes. We do the best we can👍
Well, my pact with Lucifer for a new home was an abysmal failure. Absolutely nothing over the course of 30 days. I upheld my part, and meditated on his seal every day, but it seems there was no return.
I kind of feel like I wasted this past month, as I did no other magick towards my goal, trying to put all of my trust in Lucifer but it seems either I was misguided or the challenge was simply too great for him to pull off. I needed a miracle and he failed to deliver.
I guess I should have followed my first instinct and gone with the angels instead. I’m not sure what my next step will be now.
I hope things are improving for you, @DarkestKnight. I don’t think I’m as magickally advanced as you, so I feel like there’s not really anything I can do for you that you can’t do for yourself. But I just wanted to let you know you’re in my thoughts – for whatever that’s worth.
After reading about the 55X5 technique in a post, I thought I would look into it. I found it interesting that in all of my Law of Attraction reading, I’d never come across it before, so I checked out some YouTube videos on it.
The basics of the technique is to create an affirmation in the present tense and then to write it 55 times every day for 5 straight days.
One of the videos I watched on YouTube, was a guy looking at this exercise through the Kabbalah and the Tree of Life, and he recommended doing the technique either 3 X 33, 4 X 44 or 77 X 7 rather than 5 X 55, as, according to him, the 5 X 55 has greater potential for negative manifestations due to its representation of Geburah.
I decided to give this a try but I went with the 77 X 7 method. I’m now on the second day of this, and I have to say that writing out the affirmation seventy-seven times puts me in an altered state just from the focus involved. When I hit the end, I’m always dizzy when I stand up, a sure sign for me that I was in an altered state of mind.
Had a good rehearsal today. Have been very stressed out about my lack of a home and consequently have been very lax in learning my lines, but it seems I do, in fact, have them in my head. I just have to remember them in the right places and at the right time.
Had a massive headache last night for some reason. Had no pain relievers on hand so had to suffer through. It was very prominent in the middle of my forehead and behind my left eye.
Before trying to sleep, I lay in my bed and just ranted at Raziel. I’m kind of fed up with the lack of response from spirits, and I’m really not sure now if they exist outside of my own subconscious, or if they have their own existence. I asked him for a sign within the next two days, something that would leave no doubt that he heard me. We’ll see if anything comes of it.
On Saturday, my application for an apartment was declined. It’s going to take a literal miracle to get a new home, it seems.
Sorry to hear your rental app was turned down. Trying to rent something in Los Angeles is impossible. There’s a huge housing shortage, rents are now becoming astronomical, with the huge cost and unfavorable mortage terms, no one is able to afford to buy a home, everyone is having to rent and the prices just keep going up and up. Even if you can afford to rent something, they have huge waiting lists.
I am not sure of your location in Canada but you might try and apply for subsidized housing, we call it section 8 based on income, once you get on the list HUD and the city pays for half and you get your choice of units. It is what i did to solve my rental problems.
No sign from Raziel that he heard me. I suppose there is a possibility that it was so subtle that I missed it, but I specifically asked for a sign I couldn’t deny, and if it was so subtle that I didn’t see it, it wasn’t what was needed.
Also, no result from the 7 X 77 technique. I watched a video in my research that said it could take up to a month for the result to manifest so perhaps it’s too early to completely write it off.
I went to the local food bank today, and walked away with a frozen whole trout so that was the highlight of my day.
I’m not sure where to go magically. I’m just so tired, physically and mentally. The stress about needing to find a home for July is beginning to break me down and I don’t know how to stop it. Nothing appears to work, not demons, not angels, not anything.
Maybe I’m expecting too much. I don’t know, but as one member here said, if magick can kill someone without the magician having to take any sort of physical action towards the goal, why can’t it bring money from nothing?
So much confusion. Contradictory thoughts going round and round in my head, paralyzing me with indecision.
I suggest that you try the 7X77 method again. But before each time you do it, visualize your desired end result and use at least 2 senses in your visualization. Hearing + touch for example. And a powerful emotion of your choice. Once the visualization ends, instantly start the 7X77 method… for the same end result. Repeat that each time until the end of the 7 days.
Before you start, I suggest you use one of the opening rituals from Gallery of Magick books. Any ritual would work fine. The Stillness, Circle of Power etc Whatever is easier for you to do and you feel more comfortable with.
When you notice synchronicity going on in your life, that’s a sign of success.
Magickal Riches has some rituals with the genius spirits if you’re curious. It doesn’t go into the theory or source materials much, but it describes some of their powers and qualities.
The rituals Attract Money Through Perception (calling Sisera, Labezerin, and Eistibus) and perhaps Chance Money Attraction (calling Nitika, Haatan, Sialul, and Librabis) may be helpful to you @DarkestKnight if this is the synchronicity you’re looking for. The book uses Raziel to create a stronger connection to the geniuses, and since it sounds like you’re working with Raziel now, maybe this is a good sign?
The former could help you find a good place to stay, which in many ways could be better than making the price of any one place cheaper. The spirits are said to guide your perceptions, helping you find the best deal and, I would imagine, the place you would be most happy with. If you have the time, you may want to perform the latter ritual first, however, as it could contribute to the effects of the Perception ritual. Encouraging chance money from out of the blue, then empowering your apartment search seems like a good combo.
If you don’t have the book yet I’d highly recommend it - it paid back the $8 many times over for me after just the first ritual, and the preliminary material is helpful for getting money magick working. One of the big takeaways for me was that it is often better to focus on what you want the money for, rather than the money itself, especially when stirring up your emotions in ritual.
Feeling a bit more magical today. It’s amazing how even a small bit of money can make you feel normal again. I had asked my sister if I could borrow $40 on Thursday but she didn’t respond so I figured that meant No, but instead, she put $50 in my account this afternoon.
The funny part is that I was contemplating using a ritual from Winterfield’s Demons of Magick to bring money from unexpected sources last night, but never performed it. The money showing up today unexpectedly could be a coincidence, or it could be a synchronicity. It’s hard to say, but maybe I should simply accept it as a synchronicity.
I think I’m going to start the angelic pathworking in Evoking Eternity, and resume the 72 challenge again. I have an appointment tomorrow evening to view a place for rent.
But I just wanted to let you know you’re in my thoughts – for whatever that’s worth.
