joke okay so i did my connective evocation with Duke Sallos and woooosh that was a wild ride. I felt lightheaded chanting but I felt a force/weight on my chest and I had the feeling that he was present.
My request was honestly copied from the “demons abilities” part on his page HAHAHA but i think it’ll go well. I’m quite confident once again that it will happen. Yahooo!! He was receptive to working within a timeframe too, which was really nice.
that is correct, unverified person gnosis is shortened as UPG
hey guys! happy mother’s day to all mothers out there!!!
i did three petitions today from the ritual 1 of DoM!! I’ve been finding these really great and I feel like I must for results less because of all the work I put in. I think part of me is more so excited, like a kid waiting for her gift from santa and just waiting for december 25 to come ykwim? yesterday i did petitions with a specific time, today i didn’t do any for a specific time. either way, i try to see timelines as my personal dec 25.
sorry long ahh explanation!
i did research today cause i totally panicked because I realized I missed a step or two doing rituals, but I read in the GoM website that it’s okay, and if i still feel confident in my ritual, it’s fine :>> i won’t redo it! i’m confident it’ll work (yes i believe if i say it enough times, it’ll reign true…so it’ll work, duh)
though, i wanted to do connective ritual 2 tonight but i felt myself get exhausted…and the moment I tried calling on the angels…I accidentally called Michael Raphael so I was like “okay guys, tomorrow or another night. ya boys tired af” (well, like a bit more formally, but i don’t talk super formally with the demons aside from like “commands”)
also idk but it’s not bad that i lowkey announce like “you WILL do this, thanks” to the demons…idk i try seeing them as my awesome guard being like “yeah we’ll do this and we’ll work hard for u so ofc you’ll get it” so i hope that’s not an incredibly stupid take LOL
i pulled an all nighter cause i have a final tmr and i called upon vapula, andrealphus, and asmodai to help me study and to retain everything. Bael to make sure my profs don’t see if i decide to be morally not so great during the test, and orias to ensure my prof passes me lol.
ever since discovering magic and doing rituals, i feel like i can do anything. heck i’ve only gotten one result so far with demons as im waiting on the others to come at a specific time, but i just…idk i feel like it’s gonna work. yeah i have doubts but im confident that this will work. every doubt i have, ill try n make sure its erased!! >_<
unfortunately haven’t been able to evoke/connective evoke cause i’ve been too busy with school and my brain cannot handle another presence so ive stuck to petitions which ive FINALLY BEEN ABLE TO BURN!! cause im out of the house (yahoo!!)
anyways ive drank so much coffee and energy drinks my hands r shaking. oops.
omg my ex (who i had a bad falling out with) (my target, in which i’ve been throwing sallos and dantalion and azazel and belial at him) has been listening to yearning songs and songs we used to listen to…ooooh i feel my requests cooking SO GOOD!!! sallos for the love and the action and dantalion to get him to stop being a selfish prick hehehehh……azazel for the justice and the extra push….belial for the destroying anything keeping him from coming to me.
like a kid waiting for christmas…HES COMING BACK heheheh
I GIVE UP
was having lots of doubts cause i saw people say it’s unlikely people get their exes back with magick- but i realize it’s that way because those people who do cast the spells are super attached. that’s something im learning, to love myself still. the art of not giving a fuck about smth is to give a fuck abt something else, and i’m probably gonna take a break from the forum cause whenever i come across those “ex back” posts i feel discouraged when it’s something that will happen.
i’m gonna go back to the happy 10second reel method and just trying to focus on myself and heal myself. i won’t lie, it’s pretty tough. i get temptations to call upon the whole underworld when in truth, the ones i already have are working on it and are able. i just need to get it into my head that i don’t need this…and i don’t.
i’m loaded, im pretty, i have lots of friends, so many other guys love me, but i’m so attached to this feeling of betrayal from my ex leaving when things get hard. i’ve done shadow work to know the root is when my dad left, but not enough to get over it. i know my depression, anxiety, and my cptsd dosent make it any easier- but i don’t understand why im so freaking needy over this guy. again, ive never had a need for a money spell, i have a shit ton of friends, and yet this ONE guy has so much struggle admitting he’s wrong even if he loves me??? (and i know that he loves me for a fact) and he just won’t let his pride down and be the one to apologize.
i realize that’s lusting for results, and lawd i am trying not to. but i needed to get this out because i could feel it trying to crawl from my chest. i’m soo tired of this bs because i am so much better than him, so why can’t i get an apology??? i don’t need one. i know i don’t need one, but i want to stop wanting an apology and just move on. i guess this is why my baneful magick is so effective?? who knows, ive cursed so many people successfully without batting an eye.
i don’t even really want him back. it would just be nice if he acknowledged his cruelty and his faults. i don’t need it, i guess yeah, but it would be really nice. i KNOW magick works but it discourages me seeing posts like “oh magick for exes don’t work” even if i know that it DOES work, its just the operator cant let go.
im so done atp im ready to just go drive to a mountain and scream everything out and just sleep for like the next few days. maybe cause its summer and schools not leaving my mind. but my ex is so clearly in my sphere of influence. same school, same clubs, it’s been four months since we broke up. it just feels horrible. the fact i could influence so many people, but i can’t get an apology. i don’t even know why im so freaking anxious over this??? genuinely im out of his league and im STILL so UGHHH. this is gonna sound horrible, but throwing money at the problem isn’t helping which sucks. so i quickly gave up on that. now i had hope, but now i give up. i’m doing one last petition to kevashiel to get rid of my damn lust and i’m gonna just go on and do whatever the hell I WANT FOR A CHANGE.
i need to let go of all this anger. and i think..im tired. i’ve contacted so many spirits, ive done so many spells, and im tired. whatever happens will happen and i dont care anymore. i just want to eat, sleep, and play tomodachi life for the rest of my days. he can do whatever the hell he wants. i’ve done my damn job and I AM TIRED.
and yes, i know i need to give the spells time. i will, by giving up and going the fuckkkk to sleep!!!
horribly i’ve realized my shadow is my need for reassurance and validation. the reason why spells or whatever keep failing is because i keep overthinking everything and not trusting it. god, it took me so long to admit that. i’m gonna end that asap.
anyways tldr, i’ll do that last petition i said i would do, then i’ll banish…and then i’ll take a break from magick. it’s stressing me, and im gonna work on the mundane aspect of my mental health being crap so the magick can actually bake and settle. i realized ive been shoving everything into the oven the moment i get anxious, instead of taking myself aside and taking a breath to clam down. so i think it’s time i chuck myself back into good ol therapy for a bit and work on my abandonment issues…which is gonna take a bit cause that’s gonna force me to look at some memories i’ve been pushing down.
Having ulterior motives is a leading cause of failure with magic. Because what you’re trying to do is at odds with what you really want.
Let’s suppose your magic works anyway. Now you’ve got him back. Then what? You just said you don’t want him. Now you’re in a real pickle.
Before you ever begin a working it’s best to take time to figure out what you really want and what your motives are. And be ruthlessly honest about it. Any self deceit in this area is not going to be helpful and you’ll just send an inconsistent signal in the actual work.
Well if you don’t want him back then don’t do workings that might return him in a love or lust focused way.
Try too speak with Spirits like Botis, Gusion, Raum, Amon. They can bring about reconciliation
Belial can also help with reconciliation, but I would manage your expectations it is important too remember that this guy is his own individual, you might deserve a proper apology or whatever, but people give us what they are capable off, not what we think that we deserve. So even if you get an apology it might not be the apology that you need.