Just a vent :)

Hi sweethearts-
It’s been several months now since I have started studying the left hand path and the occult. I’m loving my journey. I just want to vent about some things that have happened the last few weeks. It feels great to type it out.
Well, my now ex-boyfriend left me. Again. Through countless times of wanting him back, this time I didn’t. Instead I dived into learning more and more about witchcraft, etc. Yes I was hurting but I decided it now would be a good time to study my passion even more so. I did have sad moments, I got close to preforming love spells on him, (I have no guilt about those things btw, lol.) but it felt wrong and untimely.
I did my first sigil gazing session a week ago or so. I do not know if I made contact, but I will keep trying with other demons for other needs etc. I decided to talk to Sallos. I talked about how happy I was with my ex and how I wanted but to do a love spell but at the same time I didn’t. I also talked about some other stuff, and greeted myself, etc. I then finished the chat and went to sleep. The next few days I felt great. Then, before I went to sleep one night, a random voice popped into my head. I can’t describe the voice- it wasn’t my thoughts, I know that much.
It said to me; “You still care too much, don’t you. I know you’re thinking of trying to get him back. Don’t yet, you care too much. Give yourself time”. It felt so loving. I fell asleep not long after. I really do not know who that voice could have been. Possibly Sallos?
Today for the first time in few weeks I checked my ex’s page, to see hes in a relationship. I never got the honour of appearing on his page lol, and I decided to give myself time to cry about it for a little bit.
I got up, dusted myself off, and said, fuck him. I gave everything to him and for him to do that after a few weeks? Let’s see sweetie. This has made me see through you completely, and now this girls ready to move on!
I intend to spend more time on this forum and learn as much as I can.
All of you are so friendly and I thank you for that. This vent is a thank you to this forum and all of you on it too. I truly feel like I belong to this path.
Much love to all of you.


Thanks for this, I am also still getting over the idea of someone. I’m sure when you’re ready you can make him beg, if only for the satisfaction of turning him down.

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You know what, I plan to do just that.
If you ever need someone to talk to message me- we can work through it together :slight_smile:
Much love.

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I lost my parents Sept 15th …I too have thrown myself even more into magick. It does help to keep the mind focused and away from depression. I still have bad days though … but looking at how my siblings are doing …I think I’m doing better overall. … having already had a routine of meditation and chakra work going. And knowing what spirits to turn to.

I tend to turn pain into something useful most of the time … the sting or the hurt pushes me more.

Azazel even said that today … everytime he tries to teach me something new he has to do it from a BDSM angle and push me through the pain.
He’s not being an asshole I just won’t push myself to do the work and right when he hits the edge of pushing me over is when the “ah -ha” moments arrive and the light bulbs turn on.


Keep it up! You have finally chosen to love yourself! This what you need to keep doing!

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Pain is an excellent motivator. I’ve always been a stick my hand in the fire sort of person and almost needed that hurt to learn for myself. I didn’t start to actually USE what I learned until I became fully LHP though! :joy:

This year has been one of the most challenging and painful yet beautiful times for me. Between uncomfortable revelations, growing apart from my best friend, the loss of a pet, and heartbreak I thought I’d had my share. Then I found out I had a progressed form of cancer and I wanted to tap out right there.

I’ll admit, spite generally lights a fire in me and maybe that was part of it. All I know is when you get knocked down and ripped apart left in the dirt it’s ok to rest. But I never acquired a taste for dirt and i remembered IM the one that runs this motherfucker. Nothing is going to break me unless I let it. Nothing.

And today? I know my guides and my infernal family have been with me and taken care of me and actually used each thing to teach me something invaluable. I actively sought them the entire time.

P.S. I’m also kicking the shit out of cancer too - my dr’s have no idea how and I have no intention of disclosing. But I owe someone and I’ll make good on it. :black_heart:


I’m very sorry for your loss. I’m always here for you.
Thank you for sharing your story with me. This is obviously where we’re all meant to be right now.


Thank you!:heart:

I too lost a pet this year in April who I still miss so deeply much, I’m sorry to hear everything you’ve gone through. Thank you for sharing your pain with me. This is obviously where we’re meant to be right now. I’m always here for you if you ever need somebody. Best of luck to you.