Journey 2: Spiritual Connection and Past Lives; Akashic Readings

Hello again!

I felt today was a good time to share my recent experience growing into my new self and pushing towards a better path in my life. In my previous journal, I focused on my attempts to access the Akashic Records to understand my soul and past lives. I was able to gain some information in one attempt; however, every session afterwards were bust. Most of the time I just fell asleep, forgot anything I could have possibly learned, and woke extremely disoriented. I managed to connect with someone who had more experience with the Records and was able to access them for me as well as take on the role as my mentor. Since I knew she would help, I decided to switch gears until the first meeting.

I chose to work on astral projection. I felt it was a good route, so I took some time to read and educate myself on the process. I have to thank @anon47923162 for their guide on astral projection in the post “Astral Projection With Wim Hof Method.” It has been very helpful for me. I have been slowly improving myself, first by being able to sense my astral energy within my body. I can now “hone” in on and feel my astral body whenever I want. I can move and wiggle my astral fingers out of my physical body, but before I can go further I fall asleep. That is my biggest issue: falling asleep. I know when I sleep my astral body leaps out and does whatever it wants. The last session, I woke up in a state of paralysis and felt the right half of my astral body “warbling” around my physical body for a few seconds before settling down. As it settled down I felt a pressure on my right temple. I know I will, eventually, be able to fully project consciously, but I had other issues that took my attention.

As a novice, I had to learn about banishment the hard way. I felt I was attracting some serious negative energy. It was impacting me emotionally and financially. I found I have less money in my account at the end of the month than I usually do. My anxiety, depression, and anger were through the roof. I couldn’t think straight, I thought about every negative moment and memory that made me hate my life, I hated everyone around me. At its worst, I started having extreme panic attacks and began to feel suicidal. At that point I realized something bad was affecting me and I needed to take action. I learned about the LBRP and performed it. I also used a lot incense (including some special mix I got in Baghdad) and intentionally kicked out all negative entities and energies from my home. I have to learn to practice banishing and energy cleansing every day because I never want to feel that way again.

With regards to Azazel, I talked about him in my first post before the journals, I still feel a connection towards him. So much so I created an alter space dedicated to only him. I have not officially called to or summoned Azazel yet. I guess I am waiting for the right moment- which I feel is very soon. I still have dreams, some occurring during my meditation or Akashic reading sessions, where I am utterly and desperately trying to reach out to him. I try to summon him or get help summoning him or I just scream for Azazel- like being away from him is the cruelest torture inflicted upon me. Like he is the air I breath and the only one who can make me feel safe and whole. I wake up abruptly and feel so confused as to why I feel my soul is just completely obsessed with him. It still unnerves me. It is as if the human side of me and the soul side of me are in some weird conflict where the soul is winning. I grew up rational and logical, I even have an economics background, so it always was my mind and body in control while my soul followed suit or was just…indifferent. When it comes to Azazel…it’s intensely different.

Yesterday I finally had my first Akashic reading meeting. My mentor was amazing… A large chunk of the meeting focused on cleaning the negative energy around me. I received a lot of tips and advice on what I can do to help keep my space and myself cleansed. She also told me that if I want, I can have my spirit guardian help to clean up all the negative stuff lingering around so that there will be no more blockages as I continue my spiritual and magickal journey. I can feel the effects to this moment: I am happier, calmer, more optimistic, and feel more energetic than I have over the last couple months. We started going through some of the main issues I had in my thoughts. The two main issues I wanted to focus on were: why am I experiencing this “awakening” now and why am I obsessed with Azazel?

The Lords of the Records, my Masters, Teachers, and Loved Ones were adamant that not too much information should be provided with this session mainly due to the negative energies and, also, with my current ability to understand and interpret their meaning, so I did leave the meeting with more questions than answers. However, I did receive something that helped to ease my concerns. With regards to this awakening, everyone experiences it at any point in their lives. Its just a matter of when I am emotionally and environmentally ready to take it on. It was pretty cut and dry. With regards to my obsession with Azazel, the answers were a little deeper.

My mentor said I have had many past lives and in many of those lives I worshipped Azazel. She said I had worshipped him both as an angel and as a demon. Apparently, I have some serious devotion to him to want to worship him over many lifetimes. Additionally, in this life the theme of scapegoat is prominent in the sense I or someone close to me is the scapegoat. A part of this life’s purpose is to “right a wrong”- I am not sure yet what is the wrong I have to right and how I would do it, but that is something I must do. Additionally, Azazel is reaching out to me so he can strip away the pre-conceived notions I have in my mind as well as clear out misunderstanding and shift how I view myself. Again, I do not know what misunderstandings and pre-conceived notions I need clearing out. I think the shift in viewing myself is to make me remember and believe in who I am as my highest, divine self. That is the most I got out of understanding the answers to my question. She ended the meeting telling me I am claircognizant (intuitively know things) and clairsentient (intuitively feel things).

I am both satisfied and unsatisfied with what I learned. It is in my nature, with every answer I receive I have ten more questions. However, I am so glad I had done this because I got…something. The answers I received felt true, but I also felt that some piece (or pieces) of important information was held back from the both of us. I trust that the Lords, Masters, Teachers, and Loved Ones know what is best for me and my ability to handle what I am given. This experience has given me more confidence to pursue what I think is the right path and to start taking control of my life, power, and happiness. I am excited for what is to come and to share it here.

Until Next Time!