The intent of this journal entry is to document…I’m not sure how to phrase it but I’m going with “Evolution” with regards to dealing with sleep paralysis and the entities I encountered in the process. I should also note that it is completely UPG. Aside from casually searching about it years ago, I haven’t done any research on the tropic, nor have I read anyone else’s experiences in here (yet).
I’m not sure how I started gaining control, though it was a slow process. These experiences with sleep paralysis have always been rare, with months and sometimes years between episodes. When I was a kid up through my 20’s it would hit and I’d just lay there and struggle and not get anywhere, eventually falling back asleep. As I started to become more aware, I would feel another presence. I started noticing patterns, like dreams taking place where the setting was meant to induce fear, like a haunted house, something I had always thought was my subconscious creating a reality that represented a real life situation I was experiencing that was chaotic and which I felt I had little to no control over.
A few years ago things changed. I was in that state in between dreaming and waking, realized I couldn’t move, and decided to try and push through it. I started very show and methodical, feeling out every part of my body, where it laid, how much it pressed into the mattress at various points, trying to understand the mechanics of it all. Then something tried to pull me out of bed.
Y’all…(holds hand up) let me say there is little on this earth that can match the adrenaline that comes as you’re laying in bed at 2am, unable to move, and suddenly feel some thing grab your right ankle and, in one hard tug, pull you a foot away from your pillow.
The adrenaline helped me break through enough that I could utilize my vocal cords and begin rocking side to side. I clumsily half-crawled/half-flopped my way back up the bed. I couldn’t move my arms yet, so I backed up against my partner and wiggled until she woke up. It took a minute for me to actually enunciate, but I was able to tell her what had just happened. Her response was simply “No. Mine.” Then she rolled over and laid on top of me. Confident that she had made her point, she fell right back asleep.
(me being pulled like that happened once before, maybe two months prior, but without any sleep paralysis. I just suddenly woke up and noticed my legs were half off the foot of the bed. It was just me and my dogs in bed, and since they didn’t alert, I crawled back up and convinced myself it must have been a dream and went back to sleep)
Fast forward. At some point I was in a conversation with a friend who said that if I ever find myself in a situation with a malevolent entity, I should recite…I never could remember which biblical passage, but within the logic of dreamland I had decided to run with something Bible-related I could remember: The Lord’s Prayer. So that’s what I started doing whenever I was hit with sleep-paralysis. And with each experience became more aware of what was happening and gained more control.
This is when things started getting more intense. Of note: At this point it’s been 5 years since I lived in the house mentioned above.
At a friend’s house on movie night, I can’t keep my eyes open, so I excuse myself and go lay down in a bedroom upstairs. I don’t even turn the lights off, I just drop onto the bed on my stomach and am out. Maybe 20 minutes go by and I wake up paralyzed. I say wake up because even though this state is in-between, what I’m seeing is exactly how the room exists IRL. So I begin, speaking in my head: “Our Father.”
whumpf something lands on my back, like I was hit with a giant flat pillow and knocked through the floor into dreamland
I wake up again. Paralyzed. This seems familiar. Wasn’t I already awake? I continue: “In Heaven.”
whumpf Again, through the floor, back on the bed. This repeats but, hey, I can sort of move now. “Whose name is Holy.”
whumpf I must be making progress since I’m on the floor. “Your kingdom come,”
whumpf I need a goal. How about “get tf out of this bedroom?” I start trying to low crawl towards to door. “Your will be done,”
whumpf I’m sure I’m awake this time. Like, for really real.
whumpf
Over and over again, i want to say 20-25 times total, I’d feel like I had woken up only to get physically slammed back down into dreamland. When I did fully wake up, I was on the bed in the exact position I had laid down in. I stayed like that, unmoving, and reached out mentally, assessing myself and my environment. I could feel whatever was there. It was dark and wanted me gone from that house. Not long after I had a falling out with that friend.
My last encounter was about a month ago. I was asleep in my chair, next to a window. I’m not sure why whatever choose then to attack, other than I’ve been pretty taxed emotionally and maybe appeared like an easy target. I woke up, and when I realized I couldn’t move I recognized what was happening and started reciting the prayer.
I came out of the paralysis REALLY quick, like after only a couple recitations, but it didn’t leave. I felt it’s anger. It reached from behind me, sliding its arms under my own, and tried to physically grab and pull me backwards.
I was in that in between state, but felt it physically, real as anything else. For some reason the only emotion I felt was incredulity, which no doubt was what fueled the next thought: “This motherf***er…”. I closed my arms to my sides and used the momentum to launch myself backward. Let’s pause here for a frame-by-frame.
In this fraction of a second, as I’m holding onto it, moving backwards, I must have communicated my intent, which was to turn around to face it and absorb any energy it had while channeling everything I had at its physical presence at it all at once until it disintegrated. My mind interpreted that concept in a way that made sense to it, I suppose. The resulting visual that was projected ended up looking like I was going to fry this thing with laser-vision like out of Superman.
It’s must have been a pretty convincing visual, as its mood suddenly changed from anger to fear. It stopped trying to intimidate and put all it’s effort into trying to escape. I then woke up, with full feeling and control, and landed. As my back hit the chair, I physically felt it’s arms pull free, and in doing so pull me further into the back of my chair…like a second impact. In my mind’s eye I saw it phase through my window and, for lack of a better word, flee.
It looked like a wraith - evil looking skeleton wearing a black cloak. I don’t know what it was, if that’s what it really looks like, or if it was projecting an archetype. I get the feeling there is no “sleep paralysis demon” or class of “demons.” Inducing sleep paralysis is more of a skillset favored by those whose character sees no issue attacking someone when their back is turned. And are paralyzed.
I’m honestly still wrapping my head around it, especially that last encounter. I am a scientist, and while I can’t really look at these experiences as experiments and hold them to any real standard, I can at least view them through an analytical lens: This wasn’t a one-off thing, but a progressive series of events. In the beginning, they were all experienced while in a dream state, but as time went on and I gained more control that line between dreaming and being awake started blurring rather quickly until I not only experienced part of it while fully awake, but was able to physically grab and hold onto some entity from…wherever it came from.
There is the possibility I’m just crazy and imagined it all. I don’t think I’m crazy, but anything is possible.