Asmodeus wanted me to log this, so here is an update on our current workings. For those who aren’t caught up, Asmodeus was suppose to help me get laid for the first time. Here is our first conversation: Journal 6: Conversation With Asmodeus
Well, unfortunately, things didn’t quite go out as planned. Its embarrassing for me to say, but I didn’t get laid at all, lol. Yesterday, Asmodeus came to me as I thought about him. He wanted to speak to me about my favor.
Asmodeus: Lucius! Come here!
Me: Um, Okay.
Asmodeus: Take a seat, lad.
Me: Shit… the situation’s that bad, huh?
Asmodeus: Yup, it’s that bad. Sit!
I sit down. Asmodeus calmly puts his hand on my shoulder.
Asmodeus: Lucius, can I ask you something?
Me: Sure. Of course. Its about this dating thing, huh…
Asmodeus: Yes. Now, Lucius, be honest with me. Did you expect pussy to literally fall into your lap?
Me: Well, when you put it that way, no. I mean, I know this shit needs a pathway.
Asmodeus: (sigh) Lucius…Lucius… you need some serious assistance.
Me: It’s that bad?
Asmodeus: Yes, but it’s fixable.
Me: God damn, what’d I do wrong?
Asmodeus: You know that sorority chick at the store that was speaking to you?
Me: What about her?
Asmodeus: What about her!? (sigh) She was giving you choosing signals! And you missed every last one of them!
Me: I did!? I didn’t see any!
Asmodeus: There were so many, Lucius, and I was cringing in the background. She was a hot little thing, too. I was thinking about fucking her myself. I figured I’d try again with more women, but you missed it a second, and a third time!
Me: Fuuucking Hell…
Asmodeus: I’m as disappointed as you are, Lucius. Look, I want to help you get laid. I really do. But at this point if this is where you are at in your dating life, you’re never going to get laid! Do you have the ability to show any interest at all? Do you have the ability to tell a woman “Hey! I want a quick fuck!” ?
Me: I mean I thought I did, but since you said I missed all the signs, then I suppose not. I really have 0 experience in this sort of stuff, Asmodeus…
Asmodeus: That’s a problem, Lucius. But a fixable one!
Me: So can you help me try again? I’ll give you an even bigger offering this time.
Asmodeus: Yeah Lucius we both know you’re not getting laid yet. You need some serious inner-work on yourself. You can’t expect any woman to want to fuck you if you don’t show interest. And I’m not talking about that whole “nice guy I like you” bullshit. I’m speaking of "Hey! I want to suck your toes! Especially the women of your generation.
Me: See, I can’t do that. I’ll come off too sleazy.
Asmodeus: (sarcastically) “Oh, look at me! I’m such a nice guy! I respect women! I take them out to restaurants, and I pay for their meals! Before sex, I politely ask women if they want to be on top! I tell them ‘I love you!’ They all say I’m such a nice person!” Lucius, listen very carefully…women, are humans. Just like you. They. Like. To. Fuck. End of story. If you continue this nice guy charade of “taking it slow”, you’re going to have a very bad time, and your peers are still going to out-perform you. Contrary to what you believe, women love dominance. They love it when you tell them to come over. They love it when you stand up for yourself. And yes, they love it when you talk back. The shit gets them wet.
Me: That can’t be true.
Asmodeus: Oh, is that so? Tell me, how does your friend treat women?
Me: Asmodeus, he treats them like shit.
Asmodeus: OOOOH, but what is his body count?
Me: I’m not saying it.
Asmodeus: U-UH, say it! Say his body count!
Asmodeus: SEVENTY ONE! (friend’s name):… SEVENTY ONE… Lucius: ZERO.
Me: Alright…Okay…so I’m failing badly in that aspect. Well then what’s the problem with me?
Asmodeus: The problem is, Lucius, you’re too much of a nice guy. You have no backbone. You’re afraid of making demands because it comes off as asshole behavior. If that wasn’t the case, you would of asked the sorority girl to hang out, hung out, she would have taken you to her place, and she would have given you the greatest…fucking…blowjob one has ever seen!
Me: God damn it… you have to help me again!
Asmodeus: Oh, I will. I’m definitely going to help you get laid. But I’m not bringing women to you until I know you’re ready.
Me: Then what are you going to do?
Asmodeus: Lucius… I’m going to turn you into a bad boy.
Me: Oh jeez… you don’t have to do that.
Asmodeus: (mockingly) oh, whats wrong? Afraid of some pussy? Afraid of getting your dick wet? Are you afraid of sorority chicks?
Me: No, I’m not. You don’t have to mock me.
Asmodeus: Yes you are.
Me: I’m not.
Asmodeus: YOU, are afraid to stick your dick… inside of these sorority chicks, you virgin fuck!!
Me: I SAID I’M FUCKING NOT.
Asmodeus: Woo-hoo! YES! That’s the type of attitude I want to see from you! Tell me off! Tell everyone off! Go out and take your shit! Be a wolf! You see how good that felt!?
Me: (calming down now)…yeah.
Asmodeus: Exactly, my friend!
Me: I really don’t feel good about this whole bad boy shit.
Asmodeus: Lucius, are you trying to get laid, or what?
Me: Fuck… okay I am, help me please! I’ll do it.
Asmodeus: Good! I’m going to be keeping a close eye on you now. We’re going to be…training together. I’m going to turn you from a virgin into a level 100 pussy slayer!
Me: (relieved) sounds good.
Asmodeus: Now, tomorrow, I want you to clean that filthy ass car of yours.
Me: What does that have to do with this?
Asmodeus: Just do it, you fool…
Me: Okay, okay.
Me: (finished washing car, cleaning inside, with Asmodeus watching me) Done…
Asmodeus: Lucius, you did a half-assed job.
Me: I tried my best, man…
Asmodeus: It looks good enough. Good work! You finally did something right.
Me: Want to tell me what this was all about?
Asmodeus: How do you feel right now?
Me: Well, pretty good.
Asmodeus: ooooohhh! Why’s that?
Me: I dunno. I just feel good.
Asmodeus: You sure it’s not because you just washed your car? You feel accomplished, don’t you? Like you did something worthwhile, even though it was so small?
Me: Haha, well… yeah I guess so (smile)
Asmodeus: Lucius, you don’t have to be an asshole to be a bad boy. You just need confidence. Confidence comes from both the biggest achievements, and the smallest achievements, like the one you just completed. You’re too busy focusing on the big shit, and you refuse to look at all the minor stuff, like your car being dirty as Hell. Now that it’s clean, you’re not faced with the same of having a dirty car, are you? Hell, you could put a woman in here, now! You think these women like dirty cars!?
Me: Hm. That’s a good point. Well it does feel good! I feel better now.
Asmodeus: Exactly, you fool! Now, will you work with me and let me turn you into a confident pussy magnet?
Me: Yes. Thanks for this, really. I needed it.
Asmodeus: You’re still going to let me watch, right?
Me: We went over this.
Asmodeus: So is it still a yes?
Me: We promised each other, remember?
Asmodeus: Splendid! Now… come with me to look up some nice hobbies.
With that, we both looked up some pretty neat things that I could be doing with my free time besides lazing around. He’s really close to me now, watching my moves and telling me how to be a more demanding man. It didn’t quite work out the first time, but I’m at least glad he’s “teaching me how to fish”, per say. Thanks for reading!