I was looking at a photo of myself as a child, and I noticed that as a child I had a different essence, I don’t know if I should call it a personality, I would classify it more as the raw essence of who I was born to be, and I liked that essence, but given that I suffered abuse in my childhood, I feel that from then on my essence became deconfigured, so to speak, and I would like to know if within magic there is a way to dust off that essence again and strengthen it. I ask this here because I believe that magic is related to the hidden mechanisms of the psyche in some way, and it is in my psyche where I suppose the essence of who I was as a child is hidden. I don’t mean becoming childlike again, but rather bringing the good qualities that I was born with and integrating them with the adult qualities that I have today.
Shadow work. There are some guided meditations with Lilith on YouTube that could be helpful.
Thank you very much DarkestKnight, i will try it out!
There is psychology and there is magick and then we have the missing link. Nobody talks about that. But it could be a core component of something integral to healing.
I’ll go on as a trained therapist who is not practising as im in recovery from a compounding sequence of trauma after many life events led me to take a break. But I have a vested interest in returning to my pursuit of my psych degree next year as I love my work. I just started schema therapy earlier at the start of 2025, and have done IFS parts work since 2019 ish for integration of my dissociated parts from complex trauma.
I think there is a huge cross over in schema therapy modes and PARTS from IFS. But there are disparities to the theory. I will disagree with the technicality In internal family systems and schema therapy. We have the vulnerable child, and the inner child parts.
Schemas = Deep Patterns of thinking feeling and being, that exist from early infancy - age 8 that become inherent ways of engaging with the world,
- Schemas are core beliefs and emotional patterns about yourself, others, and the world
- (e.g., “I am defective,”
- “People can’t be trusted”
- They shape how you feel and behave in response to situations.
- Parts work describes distinct subpersonalities or dissociated states with their own emotions, memories, and motivations.
Over time, schemas can become embedded in these parts because parts are often built around trying to manage or cope with those schemas.
In normal or less complex trauma, schemas mostly remain unconscious beliefs that influence feelings and behaviors but don’t fully split off.
With complex, repeated trauma (like CPTSD), the mind compartmentalizes painful schemas into parts to protect the core self;
this is secondary dissociation.
These parts hold specific schemas and enact behaviours to manage them,
It’s very common for multiple parts/modes which are e each tied to different schemas to be active at once.
:
These dissociated parts often embody specific schemas
for example:
- A Vulnerable Child part holding Emotional Deprivation and Defectiveness schemas.
In normal or less complex trauma, schemas mostly remain unconscious beliefs that influence feelings and behaviors but don’t fully split off.
With complex, repeated trauma (like CPTSD), the mind compartmentalizes painful schemas into parts to protect the core self; this is secondary dissociation.
These parts hold specific schemas and enact behaviors to manage them
These parts can act semi-autonomously with their own emotions and urges, typical of dissociative parts.
So I know this sounds like a tonne of psychobabble, it is. But parts work from internal family systems is where the inner child comes from. The vulnerable child and angry child are schema parts.
These form schema modes “fight flight and freeze: punitive adult and parent (inner voice of our primary caregivers) and the vulnerable child and angry child.
The parts work is its entire own subsystem which has the inner child at the core too.
The entire goal of parts work is integration and with sdueka therapy is to cultivate a healthy adult response to align the entire system and reparent a healthy child schema.
(to me they sound so similar but im not trained in either modality yet, just a client of both, and I believe they can be integrated seamlessly for people with complex ptsd and dissociation from developmental trauma)
The inner child is essential needing to be reparented and soothed by a healthy adult.
This means we have to meet our own needs. We have to fulfil our attachment quotas, connections, healthy relationships, diet, health, exercise, build a life that has meaning to us, take responsibility, work, study. Live in purpose while having fun, spontaneous play. We must orangise the entire system of parts or schemas within the parts to manage or integrate maladaptive coping mechanisms.
Part of the healthy adult response is spiritual practice, cultural and social meaning and identity. This is where magick comes to play.
What that looks like is commiting to your path and consistent practice.
When I started my parts work I worked through the qabbalah and did plantary magick. Daily.
Now I’m venturing in novel paths, still with a basis in the original but with the underpinning of my original.
The layered nuance of the non-coopted tree of life helped me “integrate” initially.
Until I was a decade or so deep and I reached the qlippoth entry and realised I had to rework the paths with a integrated way of being, and that is a new modality. Back to square one on that journey.
However LUCIFER was literally the last spirit I thought that would turn up in my work, ever, but on April 23, 2024, I was performing an unrelated working, and boom, Lucifer turned up in a sponantous video turning on via my phone you tube. That made me look at apcutee of a photo I had thought was supposed to be archangel Michael I printed of a working someone else sent me from a cult I was in, that I guessed from google images, and I clearly saw it at the moment the Lucifer video was playing that the image of the blonde, blue handsome winged being, wasn’t Michael at all. It was Lucifer (I should of seen that I know who archangel Michael is, but that’s what stupidity happens when you follow mindlessly), or maybe Lucifer was leading me for this path.
Either way. That moment it all clicked. It was the fall into knowledge. One he fell into my sphere of influence the world around me shifted in a way that was forever changed. People I thought were going to be there forever dropped out of my life. Things shifted monentously within months. It was remarkable
Never in 100000 years did I expect to be working with Lucifer but last year he rocked up, unannounced, and since then, its been full throttle integrated and healthy adult, merging the consciousness and aligning into a real alignment of reality acceptance.
It was profound, I did buy the formal grjkoires and such but before I went beyond grimorum verum my magick room burnt down in a fire 
That was clearly a wake up call, Lucifer prefers the other methods I think
I won’t go into any more detail befaude I don’t want to endanger peope who aren’t ready for a shift. I know as soon as Lucifer dropped in Hekate aligned with that. So with that I say, Hekate. I have worked with Dark Goddesses extensively for years. Nothing was as powerful as the dual Hekate and Lucifer duo. Keep in mind they will favour those willing to do the inner work and the notion of external gains is not one to be contemplated until you literally yo through the inner transformation needed to grow a new foundation.
So don’t work with Luciter if you cannot be ready to lose literally everything you have. I know if you are trying to work with your inner child you may think “how does this apply to me”. Well im going to make an educated guess and assume it you are working with that, you have a degree of trauma.
It also preposes that you are willing to make inner changes and call in that inner transformation. Nothing can be worse than the inital trauma from early in life that wounded that inner child; the powerful spirits often see and respect those who do and acknowledge the need for the necessary shadow work.
The heroic and heroine journey; shadow work and transformative transpersonal healing comes to play here.
So it’s going to the roots and cultivating anew.
On that note I’ve also had a lot of inner child nourishment with Artemis, she protects children. So that was in my early magick work
How this Lucifer situation ties back around to schemas and inner child work, is had Lucifer never shown up in April, then the fire would of never led me to the cascade of events that realigned me to deep psychological work that has fastened my inner growth and aligned me back to my true purpose and put me back on trajectory to my potential.
I didn’t know how damaged my reality was until I am in this situation now, doing the real hard work. Its not easy but I know it will be worthwhile. I know the inner child needs me to stand up as the protector and the healthy adult and Lucifer for me, is the one who cultivated the integration process on a fast track.
So a huge part of it is therapeutic and inner work; but what gets you to that psychological change can be initiated by magick and metaphysical events.
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Thank you very much, it is interesting what you share, I will search how to work with Lucifer