Hello all. I’ve looked here on occasion in reference to specific issues, and finally decided to join in. I’ve been into the occult and magick for quite a while now, and only recently decided to take my practice as seriously as it should be taken. Having ADHD, I have always thought I might not be capable of magick at all, but I try anyway, because there is no other way to know for sure and I would rather keep going.
My introduction to all of this was rather rough. For the longest time, I was an Orthodox Christian. Traditionalist, socially conservative, and highly devoted, I was under the illusion that the God of that religion favored and protected me. It seemed like it was working for a while, and it did procure some benefits, but it ended horribly. I learned everything I needed to about the ‘love’ of that entity when I was afflicted with a very high risk cancer in my early twenties, one that did not truly remit until my faith at last died with it.
I do not have a burning hatred for Christianity or its God anymore, but I do seek to reclaim what I lost through magickal means. I was fit, I had friends, a place of my own, and good prospects abound, but that event took all of it from me. It destroyed all the work I put into my body and scarred my mind. In addition to regaining what was lost, and maybe seeing better days than ever before, the spiritual aspect of my life has been rather empty. The hole left by that guilt-based religion is still there. I have read many of the more fundamental books now, like Prometheus Rising and the Kybalion, but I know just enough to know how much I don’t know. Only time can tell how this journey goes.