This may be a kinda rambler of various shit- but I figure to purge a lot of randoms out so that later when I begin to focus on certain issues, if I refer to a past event or a current event, there will be a better chance of a reference point.
And fair warning, people say I am not grammatical, punctuation sucks, an English language teacher just stroked out somewhere blah blah. Well, I do not spellcheck- if it is phonetic, and if I can read it and get a remote idea what the hell I just splashed all over the page at least one does not need a Urim and Thummim to understand it- but if you need to scry with a seer stone or something- you are welcome for the practice. 
Also- regardless of my experience- aside by how I say something, just because I say it does not mean I feel I am stone solid right, ascended to some point I can dictate reality, or on some ivory tower. 25 years ago- maybe; but thank hell that guy died- (he really did,symbolically, spiritually and physically) and I am nothing but an empty Zen sandbox- waiting for the next rake to be drawn over me. Feel free to be that rake.
How I got here on this forum, has been nothing less than one miracle after another combined with my Will resulting in the Inexplicable, I embrace 'Spiritual Atheism" as well as accept that āIā am what the Anunnaki said- A God, fully formed, fully engaged, fully attained as is fitting to continue further Attainment. I have also in many ways previously- had all that stripped from me, totally abandoned and deserted in full Spiritual Death, dropped in a tarpit, much like the Uriah Heep song says" Cast into the arms of satan- reaching for the hand of godā¦" and have had to hope I had enough bearings to find places to grab on and claw my way up and out, and after having done so- found all that may the āEntityā I knew to call Me Myself and I, left behind at the bottom, and except for very few pinpoints of memory- had to rebuild a whole New Being with new knowledge (which often negated to former) and even new language, without these tools building the New Entity" could not have taken place and 6 feet under could be the only imaginable result.
Some of those remaining pinpoints were, from age 3 I clearly remember the mortality previously lived- and died, having fought through World War 2 and killed in Korea. Later in my life, as a result of other near death events- other passed lives would be āUnlockedā; the earliest of which was approx. 44,000 bce. I am also what some call as Multiple UFO Abductee- my deceased sister insists āTheyā were the cause of me being put in my mother, and āTheyā have always kept close tabs on me. I remember some of these. As a result of my talking about these things as a 5y/o and up, members of my family hated me 'because there is something really wrong with him" sent me to shrink galore to be āworked on and fixedāā¦ however all the people they took me too backed me and at worst invited the family to come in for counseling. I have little doubt that āwhatever They have doneā has been very instrumental in developing into what I am now, and I hope has given me the tools to continue to Become. I find great solace now that all of 'the stuff that defined me as flat crazy" is now relatively so widely accepted that I am living in a huge āI fkn Toldyaso!ā moment.
So I think this is good enough background for nowā¦ if you made it this far- wow! thanksā¦ and by all means do not feel bad about those deep gut laughs if you had themā I have done that many many times.
So, yesterday was an interesting day for me. 2 days ago I very briefly scanned over the brief thing EA had posted about Belial; how cool he is etc. Determining to come back and go over it as deep as I can as a place to start. Havent done that yet. but while walking in town doing chores I was thinking about it, and very shallowly without intent worked over I n my head what I may have to do to invoke him and what I should hope he would be willing to assist me to work on. Well, as I was thinking I repeated his name in my head 3 times here and there picturing candles inscence wondering what else. But with 5 easy minutes I felt as if my chest was painlessly being opened up-(which could have been really scarey since I was rushed to the ER last week for a heart attack scare. I felt this bright Deep force 'pouring into me and filling my 'carcass up until it filled my head as if it was all empty space.
( I also spent 3 years doing forensic autopsies at what I called The Human Canoe Shop", so when I say empty carcass I really felt that way. I began āthinkingā or likely having my mind made to think
and my eyes including my mindseye see and make plans for the near future with a very strong feeling of hope determination, positivity and already done accomplishment" in the attitude of my Warriors Excitement, in a way I have not felt in decades. I was stunningly brought to believe I should carry my microcassete with me as well as get a Dragon program (hell how ironic is that?) as there is no way I can possibly journalise so much content by writing or typing. I realized I was only getting a ālil tasteā and view. I had so much thrown into me, with the emmense amount of temporal Impressment Demanded of me- I feel pretty overwhelmed. but psyched to at least begin and enjoy This Rideā¦ completed or not.
One thing I am hoping for is well I guess trusting- maybe that is too strong, have confidence in the entites. I have had trust so destroyed I n my life- trust naw I just cringe at the thought. man and Deity have so viciously and severely lied cheated fkt me in every orifice with every manner of pipe post and craggyass tree branch- trust and faith- better practicing Sepuku/hara-kiri.
What I want , from any entity, is not for me to love some kneeling position and doormatting myself in hopes of a lesser amount of shit to shovel off me and say āThank you Jesus or whoeverā (Interestingly- I have a printout of a vision someone had where all of the people who āGod loved the most, were laying on their back with their backs arched as much as they could so āGlorified Jesusā could walk through the crowds adoring him using their abdomens for a walkway so that his Holy Feet would not be fouled by walking on the gold pavement of heavenā (MAN FK THAT SHIT AND ANY DAMN DIETY ANGEL OR DEMON DEVIL SATAN ALLAH OR ANYTHING THAT WOULD REMOTELY have the tinyest thought of that!!!) no apologies for that turrets moment.
So, I am thinking I want a relationship with Gods, Angels Devs Demons Entities, but based on Co-Equal and Co-Eternal Respect. Friends Comrads Allies Associates Fellows in Arms Fraternal and Sororal (because Females exsist- I dig chicks), {In fact there is a place I call my Inner Sanctum in my Heart where after passing through the door upon the High Altar is a beautiful Pregnant Goddess who I Adore and never want to leave)
So how and where can I find Belial info so I can research up, andstudy rituals evocations etc?
Also EA told me that BUNE may not be the best entity to evoke- if that is the case- in my effort to begin to build a better financial life; as aside from thebogus the poorer you are and the more you 'consecrate to god his church etc" . I literally made a really strong covenant to YHWH that rather than riches I wanted all manner of spiritual knowledge and wisdom (which I got but now realize I CAN have both)
Who would be the best beings? any info would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for hanging on this far- I really appreciate it. I look foreward to anything anyone has to say.