My name here will be Ferban, that’s not my “real” name, I hope this is not a problem. It’s a screen-name, and it’s inspired by the arabic version of “snake”.
I have only read a little bit, here and there, about some basic concepts of the so-called, “occult philosophy”, at their most basic levels. I did try a few things which were inspired by a few theories and practices of this philosophy, but it was more illusory, a play of perception fundamentally, rather than anything relating to the ‘noumenon’ [in the Kantian sense], to achieve a desired effect. I can sense, a certain potential, from this, so-called, “illusonary magick” [for lack of a better term.]
I then realized, I did quite similar things as a young child, playing with my perception to achieve a desired result. But the society in which I was raised, did not let these ideas I had, test themselves. They were suppressed, until I learnt about the “occult theories”, and the “magickal theories”, where they could test themselves, at least, through my amateurish experiments. Through trials, I would weed out the useful practices from the useless practices.
I have known ridiculous failures, but also ridiculous successes [which destroyed, my idea of ‘some fictions’ (for me, personally), morphing them, to the idea of ‘some realities’], from my amateurish experiments.
But then, I also got involved into bizarre nocturnal phenomenons, with dreams correctly predicting the future [some requiring a little bit of interpretation, some being very direct, and some being beyond “all odds”.] I also had a few failed predictions in my dreams [assuming they were a model for the future], to be fair, as well.
But that does not explain those dreams that “defied all odds”, those show me that there are indeed a few things, that the current popular model of reality [in my society, at least], fail to explain. So, I do plan on studying more of this “occult philosophy”, to figure these things out.
I have also read a lot of people, receiving results from practicing many rituals, from a few currents, from this so-called, “occult philosophy”. I would like to figure how these work, to apply them for my goal.
As for my goal, I want to achieve Greatness, to prove “something” to a “special someone”, and for that, I want to use “magick”, I believe it is hiding some “potential” and could be very useful, in my path. I don’t want to use just that, but many more fields of knowledge, and practices, of course.
My biggest struggle, at the moment, would be my lack of persistance, in relation to “chaos”, I always desire things to be kept orderly, and when something doesn’t fit my narrative, I just give up my whole plan, instead of accepting the struggle and forcing the order to emerge, first through “chaos.”
I use the terms, “order”, as in, “it’s expected”, and “chaos”, as in, “it’s unexpected.”
I came here on this Forum, because my understanding of the, so-called, “left-hand path” seem rather close, to how I approach life, and my goals. “Become a Living God”…, well, why not?
I would like to find like-minded individuals, and also, learn a few things, here.
I have yet a lot to learn, and I do plan on starting to learn them in a more detailed way, during this annual cycle. I hope this is not a problem, for beginners to be here.
