Good (time of day) all. You can call me Shadow. I know how unoriginal the name is, but it is something I have used since childhood and it has always felt as if it was right to me.
Some background on myself in rather shotgun form as I’m not sure what is relevant:
I have never really pursued magik, but it seems to have always been in my life in some form. Our house was haunted growing up with a poltergeist. My family was all devoutly Christian, but my grandparents on both sides were mason and eastern star. As a child and into my late teens I could astral project and also dream some rather vivid cryptic dreams that would come to be in albeit different ways than i might have perceived them. Also, I get weird sensations around people and places sometimes. When I entered my 20’s the astral projections and dreams stopped, except for one dream of me dying in a parking garage at 35. 35 eventually came and went, and the dream of my death stopped as well.
I first started trying to be able to project again, which was once something effortless, but now seems to be completely blocked. The closest I’ve gotten is hearing deafening ringing and my body vibrating and some weird fear in the back of my mind. I have also been pursuing information to try and increase my abilities to not only be able to do what I could in past, but also more. As my name might suggest, I am open to learning from both schools of magic as I do believe the world to be greyish, though I have yet to determine for myself the limit or extent into either the right or left hand path. For example I have prayed to Lilith for help in both knowledge and a companion to help me forward, to which I seem to have picked up an attachment.
I have rambled random enough already. I am looking for help to astral project, which I believe is key somehow to something I’ve lost. I am also asking for help with communicating with disincarnate entities and demons. Lastly, I am looking to improve my overall knowledge of all disciplines, which I realize might also be tough as I am choosing to be grey rather than sided. Thank you again for reading this longwinded mess and I hope that I might learn from or help others soon.