Intro back into the worlds

New Magician Help & Introductions
1

Good (time of day) all. You can call me Shadow. I know how unoriginal the name is, but it is something I have used since childhood and it has always felt as if it was right to me.

Some background on myself in rather shotgun form as I’m not sure what is relevant:

I have never really pursued magik, but it seems to have always been in my life in some form. Our house was haunted growing up with a poltergeist. My family was all devoutly Christian, but my grandparents on both sides were mason and eastern star. As a child and into my late teens I could astral project and also dream some rather vivid cryptic dreams that would come to be in albeit different ways than i might have perceived them. Also, I get weird sensations around people and places sometimes. When I entered my 20’s the astral projections and dreams stopped, except for one dream of me dying in a parking garage at 35. 35 eventually came and went, and the dream of my death stopped as well.
I first started trying to be able to project again, which was once something effortless, but now seems to be completely blocked. The closest I’ve gotten is hearing deafening ringing and my body vibrating and some weird fear in the back of my mind. I have also been pursuing information to try and increase my abilities to not only be able to do what I could in past, but also more. As my name might suggest, I am open to learning from both schools of magic as I do believe the world to be greyish, though I have yet to determine for myself the limit or extent into either the right or left hand path. For example I have prayed to Lilith for help in both knowledge and a companion to help me forward, to which I seem to have picked up an attachment.
I have rambled random enough already. I am looking for help to astral project, which I believe is key somehow to something I’ve lost. I am also asking for help with communicating with disincarnate entities and demons. Lastly, I am looking to improve my overall knowledge of all disciplines, which I realize might also be tough as I am choosing to be grey rather than sided. Thank you again for reading this longwinded mess and I hope that I might learn from or help others soon.

3 Likes
2

Welcome to the forum :+1:

1 Like
3

Thank you.

4

Welcome to Balg.

Do you think your projection abilities were cut off to force you to develop other skills?

1 Like
5

Thank you. I honestly don’t know. When i say it was effortless when i was young i mean absolutely no thought or practiced states went into doing it. It was just something I did when i went to sleep at night. The only thing that’s stayed with me since i was younger was getting vibes off people and places sometimes, but even that is unconscious. I did try for a while to try to sense things purposely from people, but it never seemed to work, or if it did, i never realized it.

1 Like
6

Welcome @ShadowEventide

Do you have any practical experience in magick?

If so, what do you practice and how long have you practiced?

Do you have experience in any specific systems or traditions?

If you don’t have any practical experience, what areas, besides projection, are you interested in learning?

1 Like
7

Thank you. I do not have any formal training or experience as of yet. I have been reading a bit to try to expand my knowledge, but might of jumped into the deep end with the Ars Goetia. I have dabbled with tarrot in the past, and of late, a bit of evocation with Lilith. I am more than willing to learn from any willing to teach or that can offer a path to greater knowledge or even some required suggested reading material. Besides help with being able to project again, if it’s even possible still, I’d like to learn of anything that can help with communicating with spirits/disincarnate entities/angels/demons, protections, really anything that increases my knowledge base that i can build upon.

1 Like