I'm Not Ready?

So, recently I decided to an evocation on my favorite being, Abaddon. (I should say that I spoke to Lucifer as well before this) It’s not difficult for me to make contact with him, never has. He’s always been in my life as a child. Anyways, I focus on him and ask if he can come up to me. I start to feel his presence immediately. My body became hot and tingly, there was this feeling of something pushing on my chest and a weight and vibration on my legs. I’m more of a feeler, so when it comes to these things, that’s the sense I work with the most.
I wanted to get to know him better because he’s a very mysterious fellow. I mean, you’ve been around since forever and I barely know you but for some reason, he stayed silent. He was listening but stayed silent and he even tried leaving at some point. I finally end the session and close my eyes quickly because I was beginning to become tired. In that quick second, I saw something. Two beings. I couldn’t see their faces clearly at all. I only saw dark hair and facial hair on the both of them. They had fair skin and wore clothes that were black. There was A LOT of white light with them. The one on the left was putting my left hand to my eyes. I could see a writing on them but I wasn’t able to make out what it said (it looked cursive tho lol). Suddenly, the man on the right screamed at him, he said, “What are you doing?! He’s not ready!”, whom I personally feel was Abaddon saying that (could be wrong). As my hand went to my eyes, I saw a bright flash of white light and then suddenly, darkness. Then I woke up annnddd…I’m still confused.

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Aside from being an obvious case of Eva’s Law (“When you do weird shit, expect weird shit to happen”) this seems like you picked up some kind of signal. Whether truly Abaddon or a test to see how easily you can be deterred and made obedient to external authority is one of those difficult issues that only the passage of time and continuing magickal work, such as evocations etc., will resolve.

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Hmm…one thing I can say is that I’m definitely not deterred from this. My determination and motivation is a strength of mine. I thought and felt that it was Abaddon that spoke because that sounds just like him. He’s always overprotective of me and is worried(?) about me opening up to these things and my abilities. “He’s not ready”. A thing I hear from him so many times.

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Do you have any intuition of how to become ready? Any specific aspect of yourself?

I already am but I feel as though I have to wait for…something. I don’t know what, only that I have to be patient for the day to come.

Despite being the destroyer, I find that Abaddon is quite gentle with people, and He is over protective of people.

I sense that whatever the other spirit was showing you on your left hand, was going to cause a major disruption to your current life/family/career, and Abaddon was protective of you, and that’s why He said that you are not ready. Perhaps look at how much disruption you could take in your current life, and consciously allow and disallow different parts of your life to be disrupted significantly.

I can agree with all of that for sure. It all came to pass