First, you have to give time to magick to manifest, even experienced magicians do so and that’s quite normal. When we wish sometimes yes there are times that it 's granted so fast and sometimes it may take time; do not let doubts to hinder the process and do not watch the magick just do it and believe that it will manifest, as it does so. However read more about success stories to calm your mind, and if you do something complex or if there 's a protection things may be different, so get more information about your intent and create a better formula if needed.
Also to fear is very human, and seeing strange things sometimes to a degree is also normal.
But the process are secure and so expect good things and good things will come.
Check the forum and read for more information and that post would be very useful for a beginner
I do not have any clear idea about the origins of your fear but I may assume that they are generally religion or Hollywood based, as they do for most people They poison our belief for their own profit. Why , simply because magick means to reclaim your lost and forgetten power and rejecting being a sheep via becoming a living god. Please read more about that via the forum, that will help your soul and your connections too.
Moreover, I may suggest you to try Demons of Magick of Gordon Winterfield, his method is different, read his book maybe you’ll like it. In his method, he employs many shem angels; so that your mind will be also inclined to the security of the process, which is already very secure indeed. And as for theta and alpha state which may be confusing for some people at least in the beginning phase; he offers some alternatives that work quite well.
One last thing, think positive; even in your life alongside to the magick whether you practice it or not; you will experience that such positive thinking will have a very positive impact and yield a better life for you.