Let me preface this by saying that this is my personal opinion. I am not attacking or being hostile toward anyone or any path, and you are valid in anything that you do, as long as you aren’t hurting yourself in the process, not that that’s any of my business. This is a really long post explaining some personal opinions of mine.
I’m a solitary witch, and I don’t follow any popular creed in particular. I joined this community because I dabble in angel magick, and you all seemed like you knew about it. Part of why I joined was because I got tired of researching with no avail, and I didn’t feel like busting open any barely translated grimories. I came here to see, and also to open myself up to different perspectives. Being in any echo chamber, no matter how right you think it is, is still detrimental to your growth as not only a practitioner, but a maturing person, so I came to a place that was in deep… or at least, much deeper than I am.
No, this is not my introduction. I already did one, but I want to give a perspective that I feel that this forum can be missing sometimes-- apathy. Unlike one of my other favorite places to hang out, you all don’t concern yourselves with morals, which is fine. I don’t particularly care, your path is your own, and it isn’t any of my business. I’ve been lurking here for a while, before making an account, and I can see that this forum primarily consists of those who work in the LHP, and my other community primarily consists of those who work in the RHP. The energies are very different, and I enjoy both of them, but I saw an interesting question get asked, both here and there:
How can someone be both RHP and LHP?
I would like to answer that to the best of my ability. I think I’m neither,
I can be because I’m solitary. Other practitioners generally have little influence on what I believe, other than the basics… That being said, a lot of what I identify as can be considered contradictory-- I’m interested in the occult and witchcraft, but I also believe in science and the fruits of man (which aren’t opposed to each other in my opinion, but I find that a lot of people believe that to be the case). I care about the welfare of people on principle alone, but I also couldn’t care less.
I’m RHP because I don’t do much work for my own benefit-- I don’t care about power, I’m not particularly in dire need of money, love and romance is irrelevant, and I don’t hate anyone. I admit, I can be petty, but I’m working on getting rid of that. But in that same breath, I don’t care about returning to heaven, or dust, or the natural order, or whatever. I don’t care about becoming one with God, or the One, or returning my consciousness the Divine. If it ends up that way, okay, it doesn’t matter. I don’t like the idea of fate or destiny, either, so miss me with that.
I’m LHP because I think breaking tradition and set morality is important for progress, but I don’t offend for the sake of offending. I think that’s a shallow, empty pursuit. I break tradition because it is efficient for me to do so. Why should I follow society anyway, it’s obviously not helping anyone, and it sure as hell ain’t helping me. I have personal morals and boundaries that I follow. I don’t kill people who fucked me over because it doesn’t help me, nor does it resolve the past. I treat others the way I want to be treated, because it’s the easiest way to get things done. There’s no need for me to be a dark edgelord, I personally get nothing out of it but irritation. I also don’t care about ascending to Godhood in this context, either. If I do, cool, but if I don’t, I won’t be particularly missing anything important.
I’m not apathetic, but I think that’s the best way I can explain it. I’m human. I don’t look for love, but I’m open to falling. I bleed red, and when I get sad, I cry. It gets difficult sometimes, and I might have trouble being vulnerable, but I’ll do my best to stay vulnerable to return the favor to those who are around me. I have dreams, some of which sound like they’re the height of morality, like opening up a foster home. I have habits which sound like they’re the pinnacle of degeneration, none of which I’m saying here because it’s probably illegal. I know my place, and I have no interest in being anything other than a pillar people can lean on. I like helping people, it makes me feel good inside, and I like seeing people happy. So, in this case, my reasons for helping people might be a selfish attempt to feel better, but hey, the outcome is the same either way.
The only thing I’m looking to gain is wisdom. I know that deep down, I’ve got a moral system that many people would think is strange, but I think everyone does, even those on the LHP. Everyone has lines they won’t cross-- be it selling your soul, selling a prostitute, or selling data. We’ve all got boundaries, and to some I might seem like a bitch… but that’s what I do!
Depending on your definition of LHP or RHP, I could be either/or. I don’t care about changing the world or myself on a big scale, but there’s one thing I do care about, in the midst of all of this apathy; I care about people. None of you have ever talked to me personally, but that’s just in my blood. I like people happy, I like people content. But things get so complicated, just saying that. I can’t do anything about it, so I’ll settle for making the people in my community happy. I want to be better, and since I have siblings, I want to grow into someone that they can look up to. That’s what I care about, I want the wisdom to be a better person, but I will never look at someone as lesser, whether they’re a murderer or a girl scout. That probably pissed a lot of people off. So in a way, that excludes me from a lot of communities.
At the end of the day, all I want is to work with Raziel, so he can give me the wisdom to understand how things work. Maybe then, I can use what I learn in this realm to make a change, no matter how small.
The point of this disgustingly long blog is that I want people to understand that you don’t have to fall cleanly into either camp. You don’t have to be in any camp. Magic is magic, and labeling yourself doesn’t do much for your growth, nor is it all that important. It just helps you find a common community and finding relevant information, that’s all. I’m not that complicated compared to a lot of people. I like self-improvement and I like giving to the community. Darling, that’s as cookie cutter as it gets. It’s a pretty generic message, but it’s good advice: Just do you.