If It Ain’t Right, It Ain’t Right?

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day about love spells, whether it be RHP or LHP. She’s been practicing for far longer than I have, and, if you look at my history, I tend to go back and forth on wanting to be proactive with spellwork to get an ex back and just setting it and forgetting it. She tells me that if a love isn’t meant to be, no amount of spellwork will make it so. What are your thoughts on the matter? Has anyone had something that was incredibly toxic come back with spellwork as well as working on the self to become a much happier, healthier, stable relationship? I’d love to hear about it!

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Bump because patience isn’t even a little bit of a virtue of mine.

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LOL, I have not yet, I am planning on doing a layered petition spell, where 12 nights I will petition an entity ever other night to do a specific task as part of a whole love spell.

I am curious on what your friends idea of “Love” actually is.

Once you understand the mechanics of something, you can learn to control it. Therein lies the problem because that giddy spontaneous feeling that people associate with being in love will cease to be and it’s no longer love. So in that respect your friend is correct.

It’s often very easily confused for obsession as well, just read some "I want my ex back posts and you’ll get the gist. They got love, lust, control, passion, obsession, confusion, hatred, sorrow etc. It’s hard to find one that comes from the space in which the spark of love is actually created and so it won’t.


Keep me posted; anything is possible. And to an extent I sort of agree with her reasoning and I do have a belief that if you’re meant to be with someone, it’ll happen. But I also think that what is “meant” to happen can be flexible.

I’m sending encouragement your way and I wish you good luck on all of your workings!


Thank you

From my conversations with her “love” would be that feeling of being “at home” with someone; and when I was looking at “get my ex back” spells I alway wind up getting guided to rituals to increase positive energy between two people. Those searches always start when I feel out of control and obsessive, but when I look at love spells, it really gives me pause to fuck with the will of a person I’m supposed to love. Because if an ex comes back, I’d want them to come back because of genuine “at home” love, not out of my fear of loss.

And when I hear of exes returning due to magical influence, it’s rarely that the ex comes back and both parties are ready and willing to rebuild something healthy and happy, or at least I have yet to find a story about love magick having a happy conclusion.

I rubbish that entire line of thinking from someone who believes that I make my own way. So many times we hear the concepts of “Fate” and “Destiny” and “Generational” as if these words mean no matter what I do I am resigned to some particular pre-defined outcome that I have no control of.

Her thinking goes against everything the occult stands for.


Now now… this is her/her friends opinion, just go forth in your beliefs, I too am of two minds sets, the old moral highground, and the new I am a god, I will take what I want


Wow, I really misread the title of this thread…

In any case, as far as love magick is concerned, it’s all circumstantial, no two workings result exactly the same.


My personal experience bringing someone back into my life (though admittedly I wasn’t solely trying to get him to date me again) was that they were exactly the same as they were when they left, just there for a while. Now he’s gone… again.

Love is debatable, but I do agree with your friend that it’s pointless to force it. It’s just wasting your own energy. Find someone who matches you, don’t make 'em what they aren’t. Just my opinion tho! You can do whatever with the occult, you just have to decide if that’s worth it for you.


That is usually what I hear in terms of outcomes of love magick, which, as I grow as a person, wouldn’t be my aim. I do miss my ex dearly and, as much as I would like him back, we cannot date as we are now (first of all he’s got a girlfriend and I am not ready for a relationship at all because I have come face to face with some GLARING personal flaws that I need to address). It is something that we have discussed at a length and, where we do have a deep love and respect for each other, us as we are now are not good together.

I guess I’m wondering if there’s any formula of time + personal growth + magick could cause a rebirth of a relationship, like a phoenix rising from the ashes since I wanna be real corny about it.


I like it, it’s not corny at all

It’s pretty corny :joy:

But who knows? Maybe after going through a bunch of personal growth someone could realize that the best way to love someone is to let them go, or a more evolved love comes their way. Who knows? We’re all on our own journeys and it’s on us to pick the routes.

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I mean, yeah, of course you can bring life back into a relationship with magic. But you can just do that without intentional magic as well. Obviously though you’re more so looking for people with personal experience-- I unfortunately respected myself too much to grovel for my ex to respect me again the way I deserved and just got another partner.

Edit: This sounded very derisive I realize! I still wonder about magic and love myself, but I’m fairly certain if I set my mind to it I could get anything I wanted-- it’s how I manifested my current partner.

I mean, that’s a valid point. However that “I am the master of everything that happens to me” perspective is really intimidating to me.

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I completely agree with you haha. I think to an extent I am quite content believing some things are set in stone. Some people on here would have quite a bit of ire to direct at that sort of thinking, though.

Not derisive at all; I’m wrestling with some feelings and I do sound pretty cringey.

But I think I understand what you’re saying; when I was suuuuuper desperate, when I checked out RHP forums, they definitely emphasized manifesting a healthy relationship into your life without fixating on the “who” of the matter. They made sure to drive home that “if that person is your ex, great, but be open to it being someone who isn’t them”.

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I was told that too, to keep an open door to my heart.

You cannot work on the self while having a toxic relationship, even if you managed to make that person come back, it will still be toxic. Spirits do help you to manifest the person you want back. King paimon helped me with that a couple of years ago and he did give me what I asked for, I wanted to feel better with myself while still forcing that relationship that I knew wasn’t going to actually work out, so eventually, he made me realize my worth and my life changed. He helped me control my emotions and understand that logical reasoning sometimes has to overcome the feelings and emotions, emotional thinking is not rational and sometimes doesn’t want what’s best for us. We have to accept that and take responsibility of ourselves, which means having to take control of our lives. After I understood that, I switched everything and almost all of my spells and spirit workings were successfully accomplished. Also, my romantic life changed. I’m not in a relationship anymore, as my energy switched to bettering myself, I attracted a lot of healthy people and I’m living my best life right now. I have everything I want and If I want a relationship in any moment I have multiple options to take.