Idk if the spirits care anymore

This is a personal rambling and I am aware I am very much emotionally affected and grieving, please excuse me if this comes off as rude to any being.

Someone close to me recently died. I loved her a lot (she was a family member) and she was someone I could lean on and trust. I could talk about anything with her. I know no spirit can/will bring her back to life and I am not expecting something outrageous like that. It’s just the last straw.

My ex whom I thought was the love of my life dumped me- fine, just do a cord cutting spell and move on, but Lucifer literally refused to make me move on and said I had to wait. I tried to do it anyway and he gave me the worst heartburn-similar feeling I’ve ever experienced. It was a harsh “no moving on for you”.

Then my health got worse and worse. I can barely go out anymore. My health was never stellar, but this is an all time bad. Half of the time I can’t even physically talk because my throat won’t let me. And people never understand how being chronically ill and disabled feels like. A doctor told me I might need an oxygen tube a few years ago and I remember not taking him seriously- oh how naive I was, because I am on that path right now.

Now she, one of the few people I trusted wholeheartedly, has passed away. I know it’s the reality of life, but I am genuinely extremely depressed. I tried talking to Lucifer today and he gave me super cryptic answers filled with maybes.

I just asked Santa Muerte to take my soul away already and I can’t do this anymore.


Two questions:

That entity that you have been talking is really Lucifer?

Why give a f*ck to what it say?! You are you! There are tons of entities (angels, deities) that can help you. Don’t be trapped in just one system or deity, you can choose infinity ways.

I’m very well close to Lucifer, and if there’s one thing he taught me is that you are free to do whatever you want in your decisions.

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Ok so first note this sounds like he’s trying to tell you to learn from what you emotionally endure from your struggle to move on. Idk just my thoughts.

And imo it’s normal to be depressed/sad over a death cause

A: it’s inevitable. So why fear it.
B: the reality of the person leaving us forever is extremely unsettling.

I was obsessed with death in not a good way in high school. I wanted to experience it. And had little reason I just didn’t want to be here anymore because I lost people around me but at the time to me it wasn’t a valid reason to me (still isn’t) do anything to myself so I never did knock on wood.

But every single person around me that passed away stuck with me. 6 years ago my old high school class mate passed away. I still am affected by that so imo it’s healthy to learn as you heal.

So that’s what I’d say Lucifer’s reasoning was. Take the time to learn from the experience. Again. Just my opinion. Lucifer is amazing.

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This Lucifer sounds like an imposter or your own negative inner voice. It’s best if you stop interacting with this entity.

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@wsfkgj I am the kind of person who deals with obsessions and compulsive visualizations.

This is absolutely the case.

Here is what will happen-

Give yourself some distance, about a day or two. Get back into contact with Lucifer if he doesn’t reach out first, and ask him to clarify whether he was the one who really spoke to you. Practice breathing exercises. Recall his former treatment and promises. When the behavior is inconsistent, simply reject it and mentally destroy the image in your mind of it.

Over time you will begin to learn the difference, and the difference fundamentally is consistency. Demons are absolutely consistent in their behavior and personality because they cannot stand dishonor. They work to keep up their image. They aren’t going to have their name dragged around if they can help it.

What you are experiencing as Lucifer is internal negative dialogue, neurotic behavior (that’s the clinical definition of neuroticism- negative internal self-assessment, it’s not an insult).

Give yourself some space, come back, and you will find a difference and relief.

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Sigh, sadly it’s been days and the answer has always been the same. Pretty sure I am interpreting it differently than I should, but it’s there.

He says it’s really him and he’s normally so nice to me. I’m sure he is just trying to tell me smth.

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Take a third party approach. Get some other spirits involved who can give clarity. That’s what I do with Lucifer and Belial when I can’t understand a third spirit. Connect to a different energy stream, maybe fae or Hekate and get a different perspective.