So I’ve been working on beginning with my pathworking but I’ve got some weird things going on it and so I will tell you about it in case any of you may have had a similar experience and is able to help me out, for a lot of this is a bit confusing.
I’ve been insanely attracted to a particular demonic King, Beelzebub, since I was a little child. I had been diagnosed with schizophrenia because I used to see particularly weird and messed up stuff since then.
Laboring into that, what always have been my center of attraction, what people always caracterize me and bind me with is fire, also, back when I was a kid I used to have this weird dream about me burning within my building, but the fire instead of hurting me was sort of covering me.
Lately, I’ve became a bit obsessed about beginning pathworking because I’ve been kind of drowned into all this in a very intense way. And so I began looking for information and Azazel comes forth and gets me to call him, so I somehow bonded with him and started talking and asked him to teach me about how can I become a god.
I reached a point in which all I used to care about and feel attached to, or even all that used to make scared to lose just vanished away, and also I got some sort of revelation of why everything led me to a living hell. I got out of it as soon as I learned this and Azazel told me, and I quote “now you stopped being a pussy”.
After this I noticed I changed a lot. I been working on a whole lot of stuff lately, but I believe I shouldn’t detail a lot more about it because this is getting too long.
I’ve been seen Lucifuge Rofocale everywhere and is insane. I also keep seeing an eye everywhere. I attempted to invoke Lucifuge and had a vision where I first saw a really bright star, then saw three versions of me in a mirror, front fire eyes, right air (sort of like a hurricane) and at the left side earth. Around me was a water circle like a flowing current as a river, but drawing circles around me and in my Plex solar chackra there was a black circle that fed that fire in my eyes.
After this, I felt a lot of this powers going through my veins until they went back to my head and got me into a vision of someone that I will assume was myself with a black bones crown and horns (wouldn’t really know how to describe them, but sort of reminded me of Hellboy), above me there was a black fired sun and below there were some things that were sort of black energy marching clouds (It’s how I can describe it, I’ve pretty much conceived spirits this way since I was a child).
Finally, this ended up, I’ve been able to decode fragments of this thing and it has been working great on my magic in a daily basis.
I’d really like to know if anyone has some advice for me on all this or if anyone can tell me if I’ve just got nuts and there’s something I’ve been doing wrong. I can’t thank you enough for reading this.
Best regards, sincerely.
Javier Perez.
I kind of intuited it as a sort of way to materialize changes with my magick (air being acknowledge, fire as a power within and earth being the manifestation of my will on the material world).