I’ve made a new list to cope, is this alright?

Well, let’s see.

Nobody can make you do things you don’t want to

You always have the agency to decide to do, or not do, something. You decide how you act.

There are situations in mundane life, for everybody, where we might do things we don’t necessarily desire to do, but we still have the choice to do them, they are not chosen for us. For example, my boss might ask me to work late one day. I don’t desire to stay late at work, but I choose to do so. However, I can also choose not to stay late.

Your thoughts do not control how you act. What happens when you think, “I am raising my right arm”? Try and raise your right arm, using only your thoughts, your mental conversation. Did it work? No. If you want to raise your right arm, you decide, you intend, and you act. Your thoughts do not control your actions.

Nobody can control your mind

What happens if you say to your friend, “you are raising your right arm”? They are still the only person who can decide, intend, and act to raise their right arm. Each person is in control of their own mind and therefore their own actions.

Sometimes our minds can play tricks on us (as in the case of intrusive thoughts), and this is a medical issue. But your thoughts and your actions are still under your control.

You’re not being a pain in the ass, dear, you are asking for help, which takes a lot of bravery. :slight_smile: I hope you have found helpful advice here on BALG, and if you do choose to leave, I wish you all the best, but you are always welcome here.

While I am glad you are reaching out to people on BALG for help, I hope you are also taking care of yourself while offline, and that you are discussing your thoughts with a trusted mental health professional (e.g. a counsellor, psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist), someone who can work with you to integrate the things you have learned, and can teach you tools and skills to help you grow and develop.

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Thank you for this, helped me loads , ty :heart:

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Could you please also tell me if no. 1 is alright?? I haven’t had proper explanation

Hi @Veil if you’ve got time can you help?

Hey mate, I am about to go to sleep for the night but I will write my response now. :slight_smile:

I assume #1 has to do with intrusive thoughts? Like I mentioned, I used to experience intrusive thoughts and they were very uncomfortable and distressing, so I sympathise with you here. However, none of my intrusive thoughts ever happened in reality, it was just my brain playing tricks on me.

The best actual advice I can think to give you is this:

  1. I mentioned this earlier, but make sure you are discussing the intrusive thoughts with a mental health professional so they can help you to help yourself. It sounds like you are already doing this, which is great.

  2. Realise that you can ask yourself questions and give yourself advice as well. It is not a bad thing to ask other people for advice and input, however, you may become reliant on needing that external validation. Sometimes it seems like our mind may not be on our side, but we can make our own mind into our greatest friend, supporter, and ally. Learning to self-soothe is a huge step in growth and development. It can take time and effort but it will be worth it.

No one is guaranteed a life without sad or unpleasant things happening. That is part of life. Note that does not mean your intrusive thoughts are real, and it does not mean you are causing bad things to happen. But there are tools you can use to distance yourself from the thoughts. Ask yourself things like, is this true? Is this rational? Is this likely, or is it unlikely?

If you have an intrusive thought, try and breathe and centre yourself, and distance yourself from it. “I notice that I am having this thought.” You can use NLP techniques to distance yourself further by changing from present to past tense and changing the sentence structure. “I noticed that I had that thought.” -> “I had noticed that I had had a thought.”

I would also recommend EFT which I believe someone else linked in this thread.

One thing that helped me personally as well was focusing on rhythmically repeating a mantra whenever I had intrusive thoughts. In my case it was simply chanting one of the names of God over and over, like YHVH (EE-AH-OH-EH) or AH-TAH GIBOAR L’OH-LAM ADONAI.

This one may also help:

Good luck :four_leaf_clover:

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you need to conceptually understand what people tell you and apply them. Some things you can’t learn being handfeed.

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I’m doing all of it

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Ur the best :love_letter:

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Hi @Veil @BeastCreature can I add to my affirmations “I’m in control of my body, I’m in control of my thoughts” ? I want to know facts before I start using things

Start watching Ekhhart Tolley all his videos on YouTube

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Yes I’ve done watching it, like you told me, very helpful, so i can implement what I just said?(haven’t found right video for it)

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llewellyn vaughan-lee. Is also a good one to watch. He is a Sufi Mystic.

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you want to know facts before doing anything? such a limiting belief. You learn through experience and that makes your facts. You do not confirm things first. Many enjoyable experience of life is letting go of logic mind to understand things. Just be present and live your life. Those who wants facts first are living in fear.

There’s a right time to use logic and there’s a right time to let it go.

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My goal is to get a direct answer while living in fear to get rid of that fear, I’m not gonna live my life in fear forever and I’m not in fear right now, just want a solution but I guess people always answer indirectly, no offence though!!! I’m just very precise with my doings

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Yea just do the affirmation.
And keep watching Ekhhart Tolley’s videos from start to finish and practice your meditation.
And don’t feed fear to the mind.
Just observe your thoughts and let them pass.
Observe anything in life and don’t react.
Dont attach.

Sorry I cant come back and give anymore advice, I got my own “Demons” to battle.

Take care, stay strong.

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Sorry mate, won’t mention you again! Stay strong as well !!!

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Of course :relieved: those would be good affirmations to add.

Have you considered making your own subliminal audio tracks with affirmations and listening to them during the day, or overnight while you sleep? That might be helpful too, and subliminally reprogramming your brain might be faster than supraliminal affirmations.

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