I think Eiseth Zenanim healed me and is calling out to me

So I was going to post this a few days ago forgot and now I added on to it so it may read like my crazy ramblings but bear with me, please.

tl;dr Eiseth Zenanim is awesome, and I’m gonna work with her more.

My sexuality was completely of control and pretty negative. It got to the point where it was interfering with my life. For some time I found myself drawn to this- Eisheth Zennunim – V.K. Jehannum. Seems to be the only good information about Eiseth Zenanim on the whole damn internet. I kept returning to reread the same information over and over. Eventually, the idea that she was calling out to me entered my thick head. I don’t know why but she seems so… I don’t know …pleasing. Like I sense harshness, but it’s not directed at me and something like benevolent curiosity about me. Like cotton over metal if that makes sense.

I didn’t even do an evocation I just drew and opened her sigil chanted her enn a few times, and asked that she vampyricly heal my sexuality. Read that Aisha Qandisha (mask of Eiseth?) means “loving to be showered in sperm” so I thought to give an offering of jizz. I got an impression that this was a good idea, so I did it. I think she healed me my sacral chakra feels at peace, and my thoughts are clearer.

My thoughts that were troubling me seem to have been removed. Like the thoughts that pop into my mind are different. Trying to think as I used to out of habit feels weird now. She changed me. If I’m repeating myself it’s because I’m very excited.

I think I’ll work with her more in the future, it seems like she’s drawing me in or something. I asked her for signs last night and I immediately got the thought in my mind “YES” and next morning I got one of those sketchy text messages that look like a poorly concealed prostitution ads (she’s associated with sacred prostitution). I also noticed more black birds near me than usual. I’m thinking this Saturday I’ll evoke her. To prepare, I’ll evoke Paralda on Friday to strengthen my psychic senses. I’m strangely excited about this.

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VK Jehannum are an excellent source of information.

Ama Lilith has many secret aspects, Taninsam in her dragon aspect, Arachnidia in her zoomorphic manifestation as the spidergoddess,Layilil in her slayer aspect.

According to TOTBL …" The Womb Sigil of Isheth Zenunim is thus a symbol that can be utilized to conjure the presence of the infernal concubines who grant initiation and insight into the esoteric aspects of the vampyric alchemy of Gamaliel. In this context, the Sigil is used as a focal point through which sexual energies are projected into the fertile darkness of Gamaliel.This Sigil is opened in the name of Ama Lilith, and entered in the name of Isheth Zenunim. Isheth Zenunim is the one that receives those who seek to penetrate the obscene mysteries of Gamaliel, while Ama Lilith is the birthing mother who sends forth her spawn through the open gate of her wanton and ever-hungry womb…"

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Was going to post this earlier and forgot.
I evoked Paralda and Ipos and asked both to strengthen my astral sight. I actually felt Paralda’s presence and after asking both, I think my sight did get better. Going to evoke Marbas next and ask for better clairaudience. So my evocation of Eiseth was anti-climactic. Gave her some wine with blood as an offering. I heard a whisper tell me to give her offerings every day if I want to work with her. Could barely make out a tall pale black-haired woman in my mind’s eye. Wasn’t very intense. That was all I could hear. So I now have a mini altar to her and except for 1 day I have been giving her something every day. Next time I have the house to myself I’ll evoke her again and see if she teaches me anything.

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Still giving her offerings daily, for a week I felt like a jackass leaving blood and jizz( and a little red wine) on a piece of paper with scribbles on it because a whisper in my head told me to. Until last night around 3 am I lit some incense and about 5 minutes later all of a sudden the air grew heavy, and I involuntarily entered the TGS and saw a female figure through the smoke( first time I ever saw anything in smoke) for a few seconds. I asked whos there, and I heard “Aisha Qandisha.”

She said she approves of my dedication and she told me to lie down and meditate. Her voice was much louder and clearer than last time. I was pretty excited couldn’t meditate. She touched my chest and did something. When I asked she told me it was a gift. She also said that Aisha is another name for her. I asked her to improve my clairaudience she said she would. I told her I would spread the word (what I’m doing now) in exchange.

The whole time she was very patient with me, and my million questions and overexcitedness. I have nothing but praise for this generous and kind deity. Not sure what my next steps will be but I’m definitely going to keep giving her offerings. And be on the lookout for what this “gift” may be.

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That sounds incredible! Congratulations!

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