Hi all, thank you for your time; I wasn’t sure where to post this.
In short, a few days ago I contributed to a situation which led to my partner being arrested and forced to move out for at least a few months. I understand the legal process is very slow, and whereas I will do my best to mend things that way, I realise how he is perceived at the moment and I want to change that, so that no one tries to stop us from reconciling.
It’s complicated. He’s had some alcohol issues lately (which he gave up completely after this happened) and became physical after we had an argument. In hindsight, it was preventable, and I should have known better. Also, I was sleep deprived and wasn’t thinking clearly. I don’t see myself as a victim, though I don’t condone his actions, and I was told he regrets it and will do his best to fix things on his end. And obviously, since Covid started, domestic issues have been rife, with unemployment and people stuck indoors for a long time.
Although I didn’t tell any lies, I was very selective in what I told the police (overly negative). As I said I hadn’t slept in days, there had been tension for weeks and it was difficult for me to think clearly. I needed time to clear my head but of course there wasn’t any and it all happened very quickly.
So basically, I want to fix things, including the perception people around me now have of him because of this incident. We’ve been together for many years and have always supported each other through thick and thin. And I didn’t want this. I just reacted in the moment. The problem is that unlike in the US, I can’t withdraw the charges; once that phone call is made it’s out of my hands. Right now we’re not even allowed to speak and it’s very difficult.
Those around me have this view out of understandable concern, and mean well. But I know better, both about my involvement and the fact that he’s a good person and poses no risk to me or anyone else. I’ve been looking for legal advice on how to make things better but no one will help me as they think I’m a brainwashed victim or something. I need help to change (“soften”) their views so to speak, so that they (everyone with decision making powers) will accept our will to resume our relationship.
If anyone has any suggestions, I’d be very grateful.