I’m so confused

I’m not sure how to put this but I hope you can bare with me and read the hole thing…
I used to be catholic until i got to the conclusion that no matter what I did I would go to hell,so I stopped (sorry for the language) giving a fuck. Soon i started looking for ways to sell my soul and call upon demons for obscene wealth (still with my catholic beliefs). At some point I found this forum and started reading thread after thread,fascinated by new knowledge and what I now consider to be “real” magic and the “truth” (after reading up on a lot of different sources of course).
When I was still influenced by my catholic teachings I found an interview on a guy named:John Ramirez,a supposed ex-Satanist who “exposes Satan for what he really is” after having a dream where god takes him to hell and Satan tried to kill him only to be “saved” by god. Nearly at end of the video he starts talking about the experience he had in hell and says that since god took him there Satan new that god would convert him back to “the light”. Satan told him that he was a traitor and that he was tought things that only a select few of those who work with him would ever know (not his exact words). He says Satan was about to destroy him,but right before he could god saved him.
All of this got me thinking quite a bit and now I’m fearful that this will affect my magic and my thoughts during evocation.
please give me your thoughts and help me get rid of this doubt

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BTW here’s a link to the video https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=I11L71PD3Lw

Satanism isn’t the only path. If you feel uneasy about following satan then don’t. I’m not familiar with John Ramirez but my guess is that he probably was raised christian and later converted to “satanism”. Anyone who hops that particular fence is bound to have some residual subconscious fear due to childhood programming. Subconscious hangups are most often expressed in dreams. My advice is to refrain from basing your beliefs upon a dream that someone you don’t even know had.

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Forget about all your beliefs and start again clean
like a clean slate like a newborn baby
no previous beliefs
no prejudice ideas
Just you and your moral compass.
There is a lot of misinformation out there
so start clean.
And all will come to you.
And do whatever the fuck you want (just don’t be a dick k?)

Don’t let others influence you.

Be free!

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That’s exactly what I needed to hear.Thank you!
Gonna proceed to invoking Lucifer now :love_you_gesture:t6:

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Just did it now! LOL

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