I posted a while ago asking why the harder I try magick the worse my life gets. Losing my house vehicle, children and so on.
I really am trying to take all of your advice and do what I can to get over this, but I’m sure I’m fucking it up or if it’s my fear that shorting out my efforts. I spent money that I didn’t really have on E.A.’s evokation course and book and I just can’t get past the TGS stage of the teachings.
I’ve got a court date in less than a month that will ultimately decide my future. To be honest I’m
Terrified and my 12 gauge is looking like a good option the last few weeks.
I know that lust for results kills magick and I know that my underdeveloped skills aren’t doing me any good either.
Ive been trying my best to meditate, open sigils and offer my blood (a lot of it) to spirits to help me as well as chanting magickal words from here as well as Enns and I just can’t seem to make any headway or see ANY sign of positive effect.
I am fully aware that my desperation is doing more harm that good, but I am genuinely a desperate man. As I said, the shotgun is the last option in my inventory.
So, I’m going to ask a question that I’m sure will piss off some people…can someone please cast a spell or send a spirit to help me get my shit together? I will do whatever I can to repay whoever is willing to help me.
Alright, some hard answers that you may not like. First: How did you actually phrase things? Were you specific or did you give them a wild “This is what I want go!”
Second: Have you actually put in the physical and mental/emotional work to make sure these things are being driven towards? These spirits are NOT vending machines, this road is NOT easy. Most of what it actually is comes down to seeing where you are weak, where you are blocking yourself, what patterns of behavior and belief keep you shackled.
Even the professionals of the field routinely have their lives crumble over and over again. Because whether or not you loved or love someone or something, that might be what’s holding you back. Depending on the spirit, it will either bring to light the ties you need to sever, or just do it for you and let you sort out the drama/rubble.
I remember your last thread that actually give me some scared feelings because I am still very new in all this, I am afraid if we practice magick will facing this type issue, but as I seen it myself, there is a lot people here doesn’t have this issue, I don’t know why you will experience all this, I am sorry to see what you going thru, and hopefully everything went fine soon, Keep faith, keep positive attitude and keeps patience. bless.
To have positive results from magick you should never be desperate, the more you feel that way the worse things will get.
I suggested to you before, to try casting spells instead of asking spirits to do what you want. Now you’re posting this again but this time asking others to do what you need to do. Understood, but without you changing that state of mind, nothing will work. You’re resisting change and empowering what you’re trying to avoid with your fear.
You need to be fearless. Even if all goes wrong and the worst happened. This is how you get the best out of anything.
I was in a similar situation myself one day so I’m not trying to be a dick. Just saying it as it is. You will know it one way or another. Hearing it from others or experiencing it yourself.
I will repeat my suggestion again, try casting spells instead of calling spirits asking for what you want. If evocation is not working for you, don’t keep repeating it expecting a miracle to happen while you have limited time. Try something different. But whatever you do, remove that fear from yourself. Find a way to do it. That’s your enemy, not the court or anything else.
Edit : Maybe the problem is that you’re focusing on Demons. That may cause subconscious resistance due to past negative beliefs about Demons, even if you think you reject those beliefs now. Try working with Angels or Archangels for example. There is a book by Gallery of Magick called “Archangels of Magick”… use rituals from that book. Many people getting good results from it within reasonable time. And the rituals are relatively easy to perform.
I just wanted to say I totally get what you’re going through. I’m in a similar position, pretty much throwing whatever I can at the wall in hopes that something sticks. I also bought the evocation course and can’t get into the TGS to save myself - my brain just doesn’t operate that way; I’m a very rational person who isn’t prone to seeing or hearing things that aren’t physically there, regardless of what I do.
Now, I can’t tell you how to go about things because of my own predicament, but I tend to trust that spirits hear us even when we have no evidence of it. Some people get full-on visions, some say they sense a presence, and people like I get absolutely nothing. I still like to think my efforts have paid off.
As for emotional stuff, try to remove yourself as much as possible. I’ve come on here in a suicidal frame of mind to rant plenty of times. What I do now is keep myself distracted. Do I plan on dying if things fall through? Yes. Do I consider myself suicidal? No. My reasons for such drastic actions are based more on principle, like a paralyzed man vying for euthanasia rather than live a half-life. This means I still feel some control and hope in the present, and that’s what you should look for, too.
When I perform magic, I tend to keep my feelings focused not on the pity party I’d like to hold for myself (although I often give in to it), but instead on the joy of the outcome I’m going for as well as the sheer anger and thirst for revenge I keep directed at the crooked lowlifes who put me in this predicament. That might be a good thing for you to do as well.
I’m sure people with a ton more insight and practical advice will pop up soon.
Dear friend, this might sound cliche, obvious or dun, but please, please be strong. I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through but I am so sorry you’re going through it. I, myself am very new to this and started off feeling desperate as well. That’s the hardest part and you do admit that you’re feeling desperation right now so let’s start there. Understandably, an upcoming court case that holds your future can FEEL like pending soon, however, please, and I know you’re gonna say, well duh, I tried that but it’s not helping but don’t try. Just do. Your court case that’s coming up, be strong about it, be optimistic about it. See yourself coming out victorious. Don’t hope for it, visualize it. Feel that is real and focus on that. Don’t lose that confidence. It’s much harder than it sounds, I know, but trust me, I’m very new to this and clinging onto how bad I was feeling, how I was betrayed etc, only fed the flames of anger and resentment in my heart. It wasn’t until I forgave the one I love and I mean, really forgave him, that the love took over, it wasn’t until I changed myself and stopped begging him to come back that he noticed me again, it wasn’t until I displayed feelings of happiness, joy and self love that he showed more interest and now texts me more, acts sweet, etc. I made a vow one day last month that I wasn’t going to cry anymore, I wasn’t going to sulk anymore because I KNEW he was gonna come back. I didn’t hope, I just knew. And he’s not even back yet but the amount of progress I’ve made since taking this stance has proven to me that only self love, 100% heartfelt belief in your intention and letting it go brings it to you. That’s not to say not to think about your court case, but from now until the case happens, please, spend time with yourself. Ask for help restoring your faith, to help you let go of the situation, be kind to yourself, affirm in the mirror everyday that you deserve happiness and you WILL be victorious in the case and you will. You have to let the outcome go. It’s ok to think of it, it’s okay to affirm that it will work on your favor but the moment any thoughts of negativity come in, check yourself and let it go. Treat it as a passing thought and don’t let it get you off track. Think of your outcome as holding sand in your hand. If you make a tight fist with sand, what happens? The sand quicky escapes through the openings of your hand, but hold the sand in an open hand not holding it tightly and what happens? The sand is on your hand. It’s yours. Don’t attach yourself to lusting for a result. KNOW that this result WILL work out in your favor and take this time to love yourself and be kinder to yourself and watch what happens. Stay well my dear friend. I’ll research different demons that may be able to help you release the outcome, but in the meantime, please be well.
Thank you all. I know you’re all correct. I am trying will Angels as well. Again, thank you all for your advice and encouragement. You all on this forum are really the best.
Edit: I’m looking into spells as suggested also. I’m in the process of finding some I can do in my current situation.
I tend to show up here as a result of being prompted by spirit, and I saw this thread. Read back through your posts.
You’re going through your Saturn Return. That’s when the planet Saturn returns to its same spot in the sky that it was at the time when you were born. You’re 27 and the reason the 27 Club exists is because it is a tough time for practically everyone. Saturn is known as the planet of coldness, and it is constrictive. When you hit your Saturn Return, everything in your life constricts, contracts, holds you back. Everything takes on a serious and somber tone. It’s all about facing the seriousness of being an adult.
The ultimate goal is to get you to rid yourself of things that don’t serve you as an adult. That’s why you’ve lost a lot - but you will get it back! Your children will still be there. You haven’t implied there was a tragedy; this seems to be a situation of them being unable to be with you due to court concerns, if I’m reading it right. Believe me, they need their dad.
One thing working with spirits does for us is demand of us that we stand on our own two feet. Like another poster said, this is not an easy path.
Further, this is what Saturn demands of us. Saturn is a strict, rigid disciplinarian. You can talk to Saturn like you can any spirit, for what it’s worth, and he can be surprisingly pleasant when you go to him directly and ask what it is you need to do.
I’ve summoned Belial to ask him to go to you and help you claim your personal power. BELIAL WILL NOT GO EASY ON YOU - he asked me to type that in all caps. But you are in a very difficult spot and you need all the help you can get to springboard up. You need to build backbone and personal will to forge your way forward. It’s what the Saturn Return asks of everyone, and it’s what Belial will help you with.
Please remember that losing things so that things can ultimately improve for you is part of everyone’s life path.
Feel and think about Desperation, will bring you more desperation in your life thats you attracting, i know its difficult to ask for someone who cannot see a light and talk him about “HOPE”, but erase the word desperstion on your vocabulary and change in with hope, just sit somewhere where no body cant disturbe you, do a deep meditation, and start to be thank full for every little thing that you have in your life, it will start to change your energy, even you have nothing to thankfull to, exem… give thanks for life, for health and everything thats not mundane. And for somewhere you will find a way.
Sorry to hear of the troubles you’re going through. I have a couple of suggestions for you to consider.
As Lady_Nevyx has stated, this could be your Saturn return. This is very much normal for many people. It causes all sorts of upheavals in life. The idea is to remind you of your spiritual nature. It is a time of inner reflection and growth. Saturn is shaking up your present life to inform you of what you came here upon this Earth for.
Here is a mantra that you can listen to that will help greatly:
You don’t have to actively listen. I’d advise to play it in low volume in the background.
I’d also suggest you draw up and activate Belial’s Sigil. Don’t worry about TGS. Light a candle, sit quietly in the dark for about 5 minutes, lightly gazing at the candle flame. When you feel relaxed, casually gaze at Belial’s Sigil until parts of it fade in and out. When this happens, close your eyes and sit for a few more minutes. You may feel a presence, or you may not feel anything at all. Just know, that he is there. Speak from the heart. Tell Belial your troubles and ask him to help with everything from the anxiety you feel to the court date.
Given that it is difficult to let go of all the issues you’re presently facing, I would suggest you create a servitor, whose task it is feed off the energy of the desperation you feel. In return, he/she is to feed back into you the peace you presently need. This may prevent your energies from going out and blocking off the work Belial will be doing for you.
Beyond the above, the best way to burn off some of that excess unwanted energies is to do some bodyweight squats and pushups. You will feel better after.
I would also get some L-Tyrosine to help boost the serotonin levels.
Thank you so much, everyone! You guys really put me in a better headspace. I’m going to a park nearby this evening to do the work you all have suggested. Just for privacy reasons.
Just out of curiosity, is it possible to go through your Saturn Return later than 27? I’m not sure if my troubles are just a crappy twist of fate or what.
in order to win, how far are you truly willing to go? read between the lines. do your research, form a pact, be real, be honest, and be genuine. ive given you the best advice here. imo good luck with the angels
