I could put this in the Love, Sex Magick, and relationships category, but I'm not asking for help, just making an observation

Journals, Group Rituals & Free Readings
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I’ve noticed that, currently, the most social I get with girls is…well…when they’re working. Today, I went to a restaurant next door to the local gamestore I frequent, and got to converse with my waitress. At the end, she said I’m very conversational and enjoyed talking to me.

I’d like to point out that I’m not intentionally going to establishments to flirt with waitresses. I mean, I go to the occasional strip club, but that’s only when all other plans fail and I’m desperate for attention. I think I prefer talking to girls who are on the same level as I am (as in at a place as a patron or party goer instead of working). But whether I’m at a bar, club, school, or anywhere else, I’m never around the right type of women. Typically, they’re in their 40s, or are just teens (teens creep me out). But the girls of the type of age I’m looking for are always working when I find them.

I try to be polite and conversational (with regards to how they respond). I’m not some perv that flirts with young women on the job. I can’t relate to that happening to me, but I can understand it being annoying or creepy when it happens in excess and is done by people 2x my age. And frankly, the idea that some guys do that embarrasses me.

I guess it’s easier to meet girls this way because I already have their attention. I can start a conversation by just asking a simple question like “How was your Christmas” or pointing out something that catches my eye. With the waitress, it was a necklace with her name spelled in Arabic. Getting a woman’s attention for me is difficult.

Going back to the dream I had last night, I have this fear that I’m doing something I shouldn’t be doing due to being ignorant of some social rule. In the case of the dream, it was being in a space that wasn’t my own. In any other given case, it could be talking to a certain someone, approaching a certain group, discussing a certain topic, being in a certain distance, or making any form of physical contact. There’s always an anxiety built around the fear of the consequences of my own actions. Because if I offend someone, it could result in me getting banned from a venue, kicked out of school, fired from a job, or possibly falsely accused.

So, typically when around women, I try to follow some self-made rules. Keep 4 feet of distance when possible. Avoid physical contact. Don’t approach without good reason. Keep my gaze on unoffensive areas. Speak only professionally. And duck out at the first sign of disapproval. These are strict rules, but this is how strong that fear of offending is. To me, this is a show of respect to women, as well a way to discredit said false accusations. And let’s be real. If I was in a room full of naked porn actresses, I’d be sitting in a corner with my eyes fixed on my phone. A normal man might take the advantage and try and get a few numbers, but they’re working at the time, and possibly don’t even want to be doing porn at all. Maybe they don’t want to be hit on.

So, when I talk to a waitress or any girl who’s on the clock, I always wonder if it’s okay for me to do that. But I at least have her attention for the time.

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You say that, but it all sounds very fear based.

Essentially, you’re treating women as posing an existential threat to you if you so much as fuck up even a little bit.

You’re actually terrified of women.

You sound like your constantly looking over your shoulder.

tenor (1)
200w
tenor (2)

For reference:

Vvvvvvvvvvvvthis response seems very in line with the above:

By chance, are you autistic?

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Yes

And yes. I’ve actually dealt with some past traumas involving women.

This statement is still true. I’m not an expert on female psychology. I don’t possess the power to read minds. But I still try to have some understanding of what they think or how they feel. And it’s not uncommon to be told that women feel objectified, harassed, threatened, or generally that their basic rights are not being respected. Hell, some girl in school told me that’s how she feels. I mentioned that I’m afraid of unknowingly offending someone. So, to me, keeping my distance and maintaining a conservative interaction is the best way to respect their wishes to not be bothered.

I mean, one thing boys are taught as children is to respect women. So, I do what I think I can with what I think I know.

Once again, yes. I could get into detail as to why, but you are correct. To me, this is an existential issue. And yes, if I fuck up (as mentioned before), even a little bit, I do fear for the worst.

Welcome to life with autism. That’s pretty much what it is, anxiety and existential dread. Often times its social anxiety.

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Sorry to hear that Jaden. I figured you were the moment I started reading some of your views on this. I’d like to put before you a thought though. Lets take this scenario of the porn stars in the room that you are too afraid of offending to converse with because the idea that you might like them is harassment. What’s likely going to happen? Well, you will have successfully made yourself invisible for the perceived sensibilities of the mi’ladies in the room, and they will go on to live their lives, probably get hit on by some dude after work and end up draining his balls in a 3am booty call. I view your actions in this scenario akin to an unidentified fallen soldier who fought and died on the beaches of Normandy. Selfless, but forever barred from ever enjoying the fruits of his sacrifice…that others now will enjoy in his stead. You’re essentially paving the way for other men to pound the pussy that you are too concerned with offending, at the expense of yourself. My friend…why?

Here’s the thing Jaden. I don’t think your fears are totally unwarranted. It’s not simply your autism gaslighting you. To my knowledge, i don’t have autism, but even I have increasingly had these fears as of late. There are cultural changes at work…and in these transition periods, things are always messy as society tries to figure out what the new rules of the game are. But for you, the solution is the same as it is for me. Its called magick. How about in this scenario with you on your phone in a room full of pornstars, instead of your mind war gaming over which of your overtures may offend them more, these women were instead war gaming over how they should best break the ice with you, because in their minds (thanks to a potent glamor) they actually viewed you as the sexual specimen whom they were afraid of being rejected by or upsetting, and not the other way around?

The truth is that none of us are born with a perfect hand. Some of us are smart, but we were born in a five foot body that no one in the workplace takes seriously. Some of us are born beautiful and can command attention easily, but lack any financial literacy or work ethic…forever doomed to be at the service of someone else for survival. For you, you were handicapped with autism. An unfortunate thing to have in this context, as women place high value on social competence. However, i view this as a small price to pay for what this lifetime gave you in return. If I had the opportunity to be born again and I was told that I’d be handicapped with autism, but my life circumstances would lead me to have full access and knowledge of magick by the time I was in my 20’s, to do with as I see fit… I’d not only take the deal, but would insist that at least the next five incarnations of my spirit be placed in such a fortuitous situation. At the end of the day, the social consequences of autism are effortlessly overridden by the domineering force that is magick, and that of the infernal empire that resides within. In short, I guess my only concern here is the notable absence of magick from the conversations you have with yourself. Its an advantage too dominant to ignore.

Someone as good natured and experienced with magick as yourself, should never have these introspective conversations without asking the question, “What can magick do to solve this problem?”…so that the next time you have a dream like this…You wont be worried about how best to approach them, as they will be too worried about how best to approach you before you dip out of the room and leave their presence forever. Remember, magick can do amazing things in the area of seduction when given half the chance

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I’ve even encountered women who get offended too easy but I find it usually only occurs within two age groups and those are easily avoided, for another woman.

The older women, whatever joke I made- it was a sin, the younger women- you looked at them wrong, cuz they are unicorns with glitter rainbows for shit and you didn’t recognize what they were or how special they were.

So religion vs every kid gets a trophy. That’s the way I see, I see it with dudes too though.

It’s only in the last decade I’ve had men cry that I offended them with a joke that struck their manhood too hard.

The older men laughed with me and guffawed they didn’t think of the joke and that it was a woman with the dirty mind that got them…

Now? Make a dirty joke and you’re asking for the man to assume you want laid.

So I don’t think it’s exclusive to any gender or race, we as a people and a whole get pissy, offended and upset anytime someone doesn’t exactly agree with us.

Like we aren’t taught anymore that it’s okay to not agree with the group, it’s okay to agree to disagree etc.

Now we get mad, sue and flame each other. Make the person whose truths hurt our feelings feel like shit, twist it so it’s not our fault, no responsibility- we didn’t do anything wrong.

Idk. I avoid people as a whole, I find there are lots of people who think just like me and I still don’t want to be around them, after being around some of these others.

There is a genius spirit that is said to help navigate social situations and empower you to have less awkwardness and anxiety regardless of the situation.

I’ve personally been working with them, and I previously considered this a skill I had mastered as a younger person, but I have let my emotions and getting fucked by other people get in the way, and now I have a really hard time being around anyone for anything.

Bucaphi is their name. (Boo-car-afee)

Something else to note, people who get upset or triggered/offended easily often are either conditioned to do this, or they have trauma around the subject matter.

Like you know- the spoiled brat, (learned behavior) versus traumatized Individual (reactionary and learned behaviors). That’s not exclusive, but there is a lot of it.

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Okay, first let me point out that this post was based off of an observation I had last night. It isn’t a thread about autism. But I’ll play along.

Last night, my town had some dense fog. You could barely see where you’re going, but luckily I had a gps. The drive was torture because where I was coming from had lots of twists and turns and steep ridges. So, obviously I had to drive real slow. The typical drive time is 20 minutes, but it took 30 because I had to tip toe around the area to keep safe. Autism is like this. It doesn’t make you think things that aren’t true, or perceive things that aren’t real. It, like the fog, makes matters difficult to navigate. There may be things around you going on that you are not aware of, things that can actually hurt you. Like a steep cliff. This is where the fear resides.

I can remember as a kid making fun of the girls in my class. At first I was 7 or 8 and it helped me make guy friends in a new school. Eventually I only did it because I didn’t know how to talk to girls and was scared. I noticed social dynamics starting to form based on who they paid attention to, which goes back Crookedpathfinder’s comment about it being an existential threat.

Come high school, I discovered the occult, which gave me the confidence to come out of my shell. I was social, even flirtatious, but I guess I did not know what I was doing or how other people felt, so I was punished for what seemed like nothing at the time. If autism is like a foggy night, I was actively racing from place to place. I was bullied over it. Faculty took their side. So, I was forced to transfer. Come college I was ill prepared both socially and academically. At that point, I was scarred and traumatized. Granted lots of people are after high school, but when the trauma isn’t properly addressed and dealt with (it wasn’t), further traumas are added and the traumatized student becomes a mal-adjusted adult.

Point is I don’t think I had the opportunity to learn how to communicate with women. Typically, one does around childhood, at latest teen years. But I wouldn’t let myself as a kid, and when I did I was attacked for even doing so.

Going back to the porn stars for the time being (weird metaphor), there’s several things I’ve learned about women in the industry. 1. Some of them don’t even want to be in the industry, but are due to circumstances. 2. For others, it’s a business. They are renting out their bodies for money. Remember what the Joker said? “If you’re good at something, don’t do it for free.” So, they’ll naturally be picky about what men they fraternize with or take home. This doesn’t just go for women involved with actual porn sets, but girls you see on instagram, youtube, deviant art, and only fans. I’m not gonna hold someone to a standard I don’t want to be held to (because if I could I’d do the same), but it does make matters more difficult in meeting and talking to girls. And 3. Remember when one person posted about how to get a porn star, and another asked about how to protect them? Women in sex work are vulnerable and lots of men try to take advantage of them, if not forcing themselves. I mean, can you imagine a job where you are half naked all the time or fully naked, you have strange people grabbing at and touching you, and it’s your job to act interested?

Going back to the fog metaphor, as an autistic person, you are either unaware of an issue or circumstance, partially aware but it gets deeper, are aware but panic because you don’t know what to do about it, or are aware but for some reason no one else is and they call you crazy because of it. Either way, you go through life tiptoeing around stuff like this because you don’t know of any other solution.

I mean, I had to leave behind the friends I grew up with because of shit like this, went to a school where I had to pick on kids more impacted than I was just to not get beat up, and had time after time after time of being shunned from venues for not getting some esoteric skill that everyone else was seemingly born with. Not to mention, we see situations like with Jason David Frank, Johnny Depp, and seemingly Kel Mitchel. Why wouldn’t I be afraid of women?

And btw, I’m still on basic meditations. Wish I had a coven to practice with. Hell, the farm I live on would be a great place for coven meetings.

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Interesting! Thanks for the additional details.

First off, I apologize if I took your thread in a direction you didn’t want it to go. That wasn’t my intention. But I’ll respond to a few things you said:

I can relate to this. I had a slow start myself and the result was that I missed the course where you were taught how to sexually escalate with women. I always had a pretty good personality, so attracting female friends was never so much a problem. The issue though is that because of my early childhood shyness that kept me away from women during my high school years, by adulthood I was stunted when it came to generating sexual attraction. Got burned for trying though a couple times.

So I have a question for you here. Do you have a moral opposition to using magick to get women? The vibe I get from your statements here is that you do…which is fine, but if so, I would certainly encourage you to reconsider it. I do indeed remember the post you’re referring to, and I recall offering my own advice for both the porn star seeker and the porn star. As far as that career choice goes, I view it as a job just like any other…and therefore I don’t really view the women in the industry as “off-limits” to a targeted love spell or glamor. As I’m sure you know, there will be no bearded man in white robes there to judge you at the end of the road for using magick to have a relationship/sex with someone like this, so I assume that if there is a roadblock preventing you from doing this, it comes from your own self judgement/self-respect. Again, that’s fine if that’s the case, but I feel like this issue might be a bit of a sticking point for you.

For sure. I’ve been following these latest developments in the culture myself. As I said, even I am getting concerned about it. Here’s the thing…this trend is affecting a lot more people than you think. Not sure if you’re been paying attention to an article that has been making the rounds recently, but according to Morgan Stanley, 45% of prime working age women (ages 25-44) will be single by 2030. Men and women in the USA aren’t interacting as much as they use to, and I put stuff like what you mentioned as partly to blame. So even if you didn’t have “the fog” handicapping you, you would still have to contend with the growing atomization of society and anti-male cultural trends that are largely an over-correction for past injustices. This is why I stress on your use of magick to solve this problem. The deck is too stacked against you…and if magick cannot be employed to help you in these cases, then what use is it?

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Here, you’re projecting.

Taken in a more symbolic manner, the pornstars in your dream were representative of vulnerability and transparency.

Literally “bearing it all”.

Much like how the goddess Kali’s nakedness represents truth.

Also, within the dream the whole scenario is initiated by you winning some sweepstakes. A PRIZE. Something to be won, and a positive. But you’re here trying to negate that and cook up a negative out of it instead of accepting and appreciating it for what it is. And in the end. It’s just a dream.

Most women out there aren’t pornstars. But I can see what you’re trying to drive at.

This is bias confirmation. Youve built up a lot of fear and a negative outlook and then latch onto what confirms those fears so that you hold your position.

With Johnny Depp it’s important to realize that amber heard is definitely a narcissist and generally messed up person. Perspective.

Unless you go specifically looking for them, you’re not gonna automatically land a psycho female, and if you’re smart you can recognize them for what they are and avoid that problem before it manifests.

Your problems are two:

Fear/trauma, and a hard time navigating social interaction, which has resulted in negative social conditioning.

I think that Dantalion might be a good spirit for you to enlist as you learn to better navigate interactions.

In addition, spirits of communication.

This would probably fall under mercury if you brought planetary influence into the mix (Greek god Hermes for example).

But for real. Dantalion might be what you need.

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It’s fine. I just don’t wanna be flagged.

Yes and no. There’s various reasons why I hesitate to do this, more than just the moral aspect of it. Part of it is a sense of pride and ego. I guess the best way to word that last part is to say I don’t want to have to even do this. I feel entitled to a life where I can devote my resources to other avenues of life while attracting women without effort. As if they should come to me of their own free will. I mean, the very idea of performing such a ritual makes me think Judge Frolo from the Disney Hunchback movie singing to his fireplace.

“Now Gypsy it’s your turn.”
“Choose me or”
The Pyre."
“Be mine or you will burn!”

Other than that, it’s also a safety issue. As far as I’ve read, those sorts of spells can make the target get possessive or abusive. In general, I feel as if it’s better to affect multiple women than just target one. Either way, I feel like I’m not around the right girls to do this. I admit to being picky, but as the original post says, I’m either around women in their 40s or older, or teens. The only time I’m around the right age groups is when they’re on the clock.

To be honest, there were times when I’ve considered specifically targeting someone. Unfortunately, I don’t have too many appropriate targets. Before the semester ended, I have recently met some girls I’ve considered doing this to. And they were of age. However, there were…problems. One was more of an introvert. One was already in a relationship. One was single, but told me she’s looking for something serious. So, no to each of them. Part of this is about respecting them and what they want/need. However, it’s also about the fact that I’m attracted to extroverted women who, like me, are looking for fun.

There have been times where I’ve thought “I don’t feel like women respect me, so why should I respect them.” But in the back of my mind, I know that that is mostly coming from watching stupid tiktok videos where women actively brag about how they objectify, use, and abuse men. I mean, social media is designed to show us stuff that angers us. Yeah, there are women out there who are like that, but they’re not anywhere near me as of now. I believe in preparing myself for when I encounter them (again), but I’m not in a position (yet) to take the above statement and make it my main way of thinking.

Yeah, no one actually teaches you this. You gotta learn it on your own, but you might not get the opportunity.

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So I’ll break this into two responses to address the two issues you’ve stated.

On the self-pride thing, that’s understandable. But one thing on that…how does your self pride react the current reality of your dating life without the use of magick? Is it something you could say that your ego can accept? I do sense the conflict in you and I think the day will come when the pain of your “no magick/no honey’s” stance will supercede the pain your ego may endure by bending on this issue. My advice? Start with glamors. Women use makeup all the time to improve their attractiveness, and have no qualms changing their whole face to increase their rating a couple points. Glamors are essentially invisible makeup, and if we adhere to the saying, “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander” you are both morally and egotistically stabilized by employing this approach. Why deny yourself the use of synonymous tools that women use all the time to claw out every advantage they can get in the sexual marketplace?

Now on to the second thing, the danger of love spells. This one is indeed tricky if you aren’t prepared. Do you daydream at all jaden? Do you daydream about what it might be like to be attached to a woman who accommodated for your autism? Women can be forgiving with looks, but they often aren’t when it comes to your communication skills. There is an unfairness here, which involves you, by random chance, running into a girl who not only fits all your criteria, but also doesn’t judge you negatively for your autism. With magick, you could quite easily put a call out into the ether to find a woman who meets all these requirements. But to randomly find this person, and then somehow have her fall in love with you “naturally” given how far behind the curb you are with social interaction is to place undue stress on an already stressed mind. Its approaching lottery odds. You already won the lottery by stumbling on magick and this forum. Here though, its like you’ve won the lottery but refuse to cash in due to moral objections with gambling itself and an ego-driven belief that by accepting this money, it makes you a lazy person that doesn’t want to work…when in truth, you aren’t lazy. You’re just hungry…so go eat (pussy preferably)

Imo, you’re just playing too fairly in a game where all the other players are cheating.

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[quote=“Verdo, post:10, topic:175809”]
On the self-pride thing, that’s understandable. But one thing on that…how does your self pride react the current reality of your dating life without the use of magick?

I can say this. You asked me if I daydream? Well, I do. One daydream I often have is magically reversing this entire situation. I come on here, and I see the same thing. “How do I get this girl?” “How do I find a girlfriend?” “How do I attract women?” I assume these are from guys. I see the occasional “How do I get a boyfriend?” But that isn’t as common. It’s the same old song day in and day out. And I’m sick of it.

The fact is we’re men. We have a lot to offer the world. We’re strong. We’re smart. We’re passionate. We can make this world a better place. So, what’s stopping us? In my opinion, it’s the natural drive to get the attention and approval of women. That drive is a distraction. It robs us of our passion and opportunity. It makes us desperate and less dignified. It puts us in positions where others can take advantage of us, feeding off of us like vampires. And we not only can’t afford to do it, but we become so desperate, we allow it to happen. And there’s plenty of people, businesses, and organizations that do this.

Understand that I am not holding women responsible for our downfall. It is simply the fault of male biology and psychology. But like you’ve said, this is a game of cheaters.

You asked about my pride. Well, it says “I AM A GOD! I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO SUBJECT MYSELF TO THIS INDIGNITY!” So, part of the whole “keeping my distance” thing is that it’s an act of defiance. It feels like society worships women.

This reversing of the situation would allow men to be themselves and let them focus on their purposes and passions without the distraction of sexual desire. Sure, businesses that rely on our desperation may not make as much money as before or might even fail. And sure, it’ll mean less male attention for women. But it’ll also mean less harassment, even abuse or R hopefully. Certainly, it’ll mean more high value men. And they won’t even have to sacrifice a single freedom. Sure, women will have to put themselves out there and shoot their shot, dealing with the sting of rejection. But would that really be such a problem?

I mean, technically, no one actually needs a relationship. I just want to live in a world where this non-necessity doesn’t become a desperation.

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I’ve recently got on disability, and yeah I’m not proud of it.

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Since I have struggled with this as well and have encountered a few women who gave me some trauma myself as well as having had some struggles with reading cues and coming on too strong I feel like i can give some good advice.

For starters assuming that every encounter with a woman has the chance to land you in jail/ fired sounds like you think that most women act like that. In reality the statistics for false accusations place the percentage of false accusations anywhere from 8-10 percent. When you take into account the fact that alot of those are high school age women who are emotionally immature the number gets even lower.

Most women aren’t going to do anything other than politely decline your advances. I think men of our generation have been shown this image of life from the internet that doesn’t match up at all with reality because on the internet the stuff that gets posted is the eye catching stuff and it tends to skew negative because that’s what humans react to more strongly.

I am also on the spectrum and at least for me, I was able to reduce mysocial deficits with practice. I think just talking to a woman as you would a guy would help you alot. Just walk up and say “hey what do you think about x” or something like that. I think you’ll find they give normal responses and I hope it will help you acclimate to the stress.

I’m not saying that you aren’t in a very difficult place because it seems like you are, I do think that there is hope for you as long as you keep trying.

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Dagar
Let’s just say that when you’re traveling along an unfamiliar road in a dense foggy night, you don’t know where the cliffs are.

Verdo
I named myself after Jaden Yuki from Yugioh GX. I admired his passion and unkillable spirit, how he protected his friends, made friends everywhere he went, took any challenge as an opportunity, and of course he never even bothered when it came to girls. In fact, he proved himself to them again and again. Fate practically hands him these opportunities. This is the sort of masculinity I want to achieve.

Dagar
I could’ve done without the memes.

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I don’t think i posted a meme?

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You did in your original comment