Depression and spiritual flatness, lack of energy, creates thinking about horrible things, it IS possible to stop but I doubt OP is doing that for shits n’ giggs… 
@Ravenxoxo begin by calling on Hathor, simple prayer but not like to an almighty sky daddy, like you’re sending a voice message to a wise older sister who can help you, use the image on her Wikipedia page for now to link to her, and if you have a white candle or tealight, light this in her honour.
Ask her to liberate you from however you personally describe this state and to bring you back to joy and power.
Also try this:
Concentrate on feeling the vibrations of the sound, don’t worry about energy or anything at this stage, and do it x 3 to begin with.
Also, those horrible thought - think “Cancel Cancel” in your mind (even say it out loud if that’s possible) and then return your thoughts to something more pleasant that you find compelling, could be a sexy person (actor, model whatever) or something positive and not depressing or disempowering.
Avoid exposing yourself to things that make you feel powerless, for example it might be a good idea to see how you feel after any social media, watching the news, etc., these things may not be helpful to you right now, and don’t listen to any depressing music, find some uplifting music, anything from euphoric EDM to Kitaro to classics. 