If you mean are my animals “Thought-forms” which are created when a particular thought is amplified and becomes so strong and prolonged that the energy builds a construct or becomes alive, then I would definitely say no. That would be nothing less than what my waking mind or consciousness is already doing. I am working with my sleeping mind or subconscious. In these exercises I have provided my raw animal self in all its facets with a voice. I recognize their existence by calling them by name. I let them come to me. We communicate as equals. I use these experiences of myself to increase in self knowledge and power, because instead of repressing a part of myself and having to suffer its rebellion I am as one.
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MY ANIMALS - INTERIM REPORT II
Am I afraid of change just as my Bull Elephant may be? Yes, would probably be the most honest of answers, but certainly not because I am afraid of change or of new things. I feel Ive been through quite a bit in my life and survived. I feel as if it were not for those experiences, their resulting wounds and that Bull Elephant I would not be where I am today. So why should I change something which has served me well and for which Ive had to pay a high price for? When I look back on my life I do see how he has been ever present, giving me that necessary kick to assert myself but also hurting many people including myself in the process. Time has showed my conscious mind how to control it. It has taken a lot of energy to do that. Now although all of this may be true I cannot deny the possibility that the new or change may hold greater things for me, and that my holding on to what I have may be holding me back in my development. I honestly dont know! And now that I have been aquainted more and more with my sleeping mind I am becoming less and less convinced that this is a matter for my conscious mind to decide. Maybe I should try to continue to treat that wound and let the outcome decide for the both of us. I cannot deny my fear that if I do treat it I will become weak and vulnerable. One thing for sure this is not as easy as I thought nor as it may seem from a back seat readers point of view. Sometimes it feels like Im drained and haven`t got control of anything. As to Bull Elephant, I think he was prepared to sacrifice himself and taught me the secret of his power and revealed at the same time the source of his weakness. I am sure he was prepared to take on the possibility that my attempt of healing him would work. Just as I am sure that that which would work for him would also work for me. To add another thought maybe a possible healing depends more than just wanting to, may be it also depends on how, knowing what medicine to use in treating that wound? One thing is for sure, this is the first time that I feel I had a fuller interaction with one of my animals, and am more than just an observer. This has been on my mind for a while since I am beginning to treat my animals a bit for granted. There seems to be no active rapport to build a relationship on. It seems as if though each animal has had their part to play and is a welcome sight but nothing more. Not so with the Bull Elephant. He seems to be more familiar, interactive as well as have even instilled the respect of all the other animals. But who knows.
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MY ANIMALS - JOY
As soon as I passed my guardian Aeon, dressed in my ornamented Robe, I was met by Jealousy (King Cobra). I knew he wanted to devour and send me on my journey, but decided after courteously greeting him to take another path.
Contrary to the beginning of my journey I do share a decidedly greater familiarity with my sleeping mind; I have more experience of my sleeping mind; and feel a greater but not over bearing self confidence in this world. Hence the reason for me wearing my robe, and my desire to take more of an innitiative. I feel my sleeping mind to be almost second nature . I could not imagine being without my friends, just as I could not imagine being with them at the beginning. I have also noticed how issues some which were previously of central importance to me are no longer so. For example religion institution: I see it more and more as an amputated world orbiting the individual, living for its appearances, based on universal standards. Religion is giving me a decidedly anti-individual feeling.
Once more alone I threw my note of Joy into the darkness. Looking expectantly into that darkness the note hit me square between the eyes followed by an almost cheeky squeeky giggle. I could only wince and close my eyes as something soft and bushy stroked me out of the blue in my face. What it was i could not see, because no sooner had it happened then it was gone. With a thud something landed on my head and pressed my hood gently onto my skull. Not moving I waited and came face to face with what appeared to be a long eared Brown Squirrel stretching over my forehead. Eye to eye it let out a giggle and jumped to the ground infront of me. Jumping backwards and forewards it seemed to collect what appeared to be nuts and build a small mound. With its long pointed ears, tiny legs, bushy tail, and white breast it seemed to point at the mound and want me to partake. I obliged and ate two, the rest it took and shot off to what appeared to be a cage. Once it entered the cage it closed, I was not able to get through, nor could I see it any more.
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