Hope Dies Last

Hello, hello, hello.

I know I’ve been rather quiet lately with commenting. Also with the PM, I’ve replied to some, but not to all, I apologise about that, I will in time, please bear with me.

However… Something happened to me yesterday, well, technically the day before yesterday as it is nearly 1am here as I’m typing this out on my phone in bed. I can’t sleep until I share this, please lend me your ear (or a couple of eyes in this case :)).

I was on a regular, red and always marvellous to me double decker bus home from work. I had just got off to get my fridge stoked as that was the day I decided to go vegan (I don’t know why now, after meditating on this my intuition guided me towards it so I’m giving it a try).

I’m sat there on my bottom listening to Gary Clatk Jr on my iPod in utter frustration.
I’ve been quiet because I’ve had a period of what I can only call - existential crysis. I am contemplating my job, my personal life, my health, myself as a person and where I’m going, what I am.

Suddenly I feel what I can describe as one of te most intense pains I’ve felt in my life spread thoroughly the entire right side of my torso and my right arm. I cannot even describe the pain adequately. It was like a burning lava through my blood vessels an culminated in an extreme cramp. Just a massive spasm over te entire right side.

I can honestly admit I thought that was it. I imagined collapsing and the ambulance rushing to me only to arrive too late as I’ve ha a heart attack on the beautiful double decker bus, at 26, with the grocery bag full of fruit, nuts and soy milk.
My existential crysis was at an end, nothing more to ponder, nothing else, but f**k (excuse my language)! Do I want to live!

I pulled out my phone, brought up a picture of Lucifers sigil and called for him. In my mind I called his name again and again beckoning him to come. I was in so much pain and keeping a straight face, but in my mind I was screaming, reachin for him. for the warm light that he is to me when there’s nothing else. Inside I asked him for a release. I asked for the pain to stop, I was pleading, I was trusting him completely, I was… Asking for my life, to keep it.

And slowly, but surely - the pain started subsiding. I thanked him in my head and then I did something he didn’t ask for - I promised him a very important and serious offering that I will give him as a reward for his help and as soon as I did the pain came back even stronger. I felt almost as if I’d insulted him, as if he helped me because he wanted to and I offered payment for an intimate gift, of sorts. I retracted that and I promised him I would do this tribute for him not as a payment, but to show my love and my gratitude for everything past and future. And the pain just went away. There I am, sat on the bus, staring at his sigil on the broken and not yet replaced phone screen feeling a couple of tears just roll down my face in a moment of relief. Both physical and psychological.

In all my years when I was a child raised in strictly religious Cristian family, all my prayers to God and to Jesus went unanswered. All my calls for help in pain and suffering were ignored. And even then I was to devote my life to this God, pay him in many ways every single moment of every single day and hope that someday, perhaps, I will be lucky enough to just see his face before I fall in the pit.

Lucifer came to me when I called in my mind. In a lot of pain. On a bus with other people around. No circle, candles or incense, nothing. Not only did he come and he let me keep my life (I honestly believe that was as close to death as I’ve ever been. Well, unintentionally), he also took offence when I offered something in return for his help.

People worship creatures that are put on the pedestal. That only know how to take, to shame you, to instill fear. And yet they say Lucifer is evil… It makes anger and disgust bubble inside me. Demons, have only ever been on my side. Always helpful, always there for me and for everyone who reaches out- EVERYONE. Don’t fee the dark, fear the takers, the liars, the ones that feel the need to go door to door selling you their fate. We need not to recruit, we have all the tools and all te help we ask for.

My love is always with Lucifer and he knows it. And f**k the filthy, greedy preasts (as someone called them in a PM to me just recently).

Have a lovely night. :slight_smile:



Wow, what an amazingly powerful experience, and beautifully written - thank you!

And yes, the forces of the LHP do so much, compared to the guilt and pain and slavery of the religions…

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Amazing. I strongly believe that Lucifer helped cure my generalized anxiety disorder. I remember that one night , a year ago, i recieved some very disturbing news and i could feel a pannic attack coming. My hands and feet were cold and I could feel the fear take control of me. So i just prayed to Lucifer to make me strong. Within seconds my hands and feet were warm again and within minutes I was feeling fine. No xanax. Just a Hail Satan . Hail Lucifer. So yea…

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From what I’ve read Archangel Raphael is another healer who can help with physical issues.

Sorry you feel your prayers to God/Jesus went unanswered…

I love stories like this. Not because I need proof that these entities exist independently of our own minds, but because there’s so much more they are capable of that isn’t really spoken about. Positive things that are rarely shared in the occult community.

I had a similar experience with Belial. I didn’t go to him for that and I still don’t even know why I came to him, but he helped and continues to help me immensely. Not to hijack your thread, but I was in pretty much the same position about a year ago. I was lying on my bed and just started talking. That babbling one does when they’re just ready to give the hell up and possibly check out. Belial listened patiently, didn’t tell me to shut up and just let me rant. Suddenly, that awful, hopeless feeling that has been my constant companion for 30+ years was gone. I even searched for it within myself if that makes sense, but still couldn’t find it. I’ve had shit feelings since that time but never that bad again. I’ve been working with Belial ever since. I’m not the same person I was a year ago and I never will be and that’s a damn good thing. I still stumble, get discouraged, and even toy with idea of checking out, but never in that same way. I’m still not exactly who I want to be and I still don’t have everything I want, but I do believe I’m on my way.

I think these entities help us by forcing to ask ourselves why we do what we do. Why do a lot of us keep doing the same things expecting different outcomes? Why are we suffering? Why did that event or person really hurt you? Why are we failing? Why do we do X, Y and Z. What is the motivation? In a strange way they simplify all the crap that we humans create and think we have to adhere to and show us that no, you don’t have to do that. You don’t have to go along with everyone else or follow rules set in place to limit your true power. You can change things and help yourself and not feel guilty about it.

Since my growing up in a Catholic family I have… ‘met’ God, very recently, Christian God, completely by accident. I felt physically sick, I was only pulled back by Mammon as I was under partial possession by him at the time.

‘God’ never offered me any knowledge, any love, anything I value in life. The only thing that was cleared up for me almost straight away is why I never reached out for her despite my family’s effort to force me.

Like I keep saying - it’s not only that you choose the entity, the entity chooses you. And ‘God’ brings out the worst in me. If she’s the one for you - smiles and giggles for you. :slight_smile:

These entities have such negative reputations and they don’t deserve that at all. I’ve made a special effort to highlight the positive aspects of my experiences with these entities so others who are confused or have negative opinions can be set straight. I’ve had many magicians tell me they appreciate that I talk about the positive stuff because so many religious people, wiccans included, only speak of demons negatively.

Coming from a Christian Man…so I said “But your christian…” his response “The churches of the world are all false” to where I said again “But you still glorify christ, therefore you are Christian.”

Now of course its aol absurd. Anyway I found it funny that he said the bad guys were in the city because he was there and one of the really bad ones was there “Leviathan.” But he wasnt very well read and was probably just goint by some script that his “Organization” (not the church) gave him where its actually really The Great Dragon he saw (I know from a dream and multiple visions).

Im not sure but why are you referring to God as a “she?”