So, that’s a bit alarming, may mean you have some kind of parasite and obviously it’s going to block you and play tricks with your mind.
There’s no reason to not be scientific, I love science. But belief is a necessary component in magick because as I explained in the simple evocation guide, you have to create some energy for the spirit to manifest into.
Without the effort to dispel disbelief, it’ll be like trying to convince someone radio waves are real, but they refuse to use a radio to tune in.
YOU need to make the decision first to commit, to make a leap of faith that we’re not all insane and that you can also start to reclaim your birthright of communicating with spirits etc.
Unless that comes from within you, it;s going to turn into a game of people busting their ass (that’s if you’re lucky) to try and reach you, and your mind running amok trying every trick in the book to get free and pick apart their advice.
You can set yourself a deadline, say 2 months, to suspend disbelief and do what’s necessary, that way you can write it off if you get nowhere. But like I say in the welcome PM (that most people get from me, for technical reasons not all) - we’re not going to convert anyone, we all have our own agendas and work to do.
Daydream about kissing someone you find hot, daydreaming in general is great training, desire is useful because it’s heavily based on the visual sense for most people.
Try this: step-by-step walk through on structuring and visualisation.
I’m not offering to mentor you here because again, time and other commitments but if you post what happened in this thread after you’ve given that a try, if I have time or another members does that’s the best way to get help.