Hey family. Just wanted to check in on here. I’ve been on again off again since August 2019. I’m staying with the “New Magician” thread, well, cause I’m still new. The last time I was pretty active here was a few months ago. This rabbit hole, known as BALG to me, can get overwhelming at times. I have to slow down it seems with all this. So much to take in.
In a nut shell I’m 40. Up until last year I was a “devout” Xian. I know I was lead here to you all! Who lead me here…I’m not super sure, or convinced. (I really am. I’m still just afraid to admit it). Mother Lilith, and Lucifer. I feel like I wanna call him Father, I’m just having this internal fight telling me not to. At least not out loud. When I do try and connect with him, that is how I talk with Him. So please don’t see my hesitance as disrespect.
So I’m still having trouble diving all in here. I know I want to. Its just hard. Goes against all I was taught. But, I also know I was lied to growing up and fed a bunch of faulty indoctrination. That I KNOW. I dont know how I know, but I just KNOW! I can just feel it deep inside me. Like inside parts of me I didnt know existed. If that makes sense.
With all that said, I really just wanted to check in. Kinda felt like I should. Some of y’all have really reached out to me in love and support. And that means everything. Thank you. I’m not giving up. I’m going after the truth. Hope all is well. Peace.
