Draw my Sigil and talk to me through evokation about it.
We’ll find a solution.
If the “light” in you is natrual,
you can find a different spirit to work with.
If the light inside of you was placed there,
for example through baptism,
it can be removed,
so you’d be cleansed of it and could go on to do the stuff you just asked about.
Apart from that,
please understand:
Going a specific,
personal path,
can mean that you have to go your own way.
And sometimes,
another being,
even if close,
can not share going along with you,
simply due to being a different being,
a different personality,
with different fears, motivations, wishes, dreams and hopes.
Your fiance might also have already stated clearly for the demon to deny you following her on her path,
for example due to fear of you being hurt,
for example out of love and care.
In such a case,
no caring god or demon,
would deny such request,
simply because it’s good manners / Etiquette to respect such wishes.
Her trying to lead you into a different path,
might actually be much more benefitial for you,
but i can’t answer such questions without actually seeing the situation more clearly.
Plus,
i’d like to hold that conversation more privately,
so you’re not being exposed unnecessarily at such a fragile point in your developement.
if you don’t want me to discuss these things with you,
you can use one of the following messengers instead,
to get help and find a solution that fits:
Gabriel - Angelic Messenger
Papa Legba - Lwa Messenger
Malzath Hybreath - Galactic Messenger (can commune with all kingdoms / Legions / Lords
Barma’thazël - Demonic Messenger - i’m not completely sure on that one. If i recall correctly, he’s similar to Sandalphon or Gabriel but in the Infernal Empire. But in case i’m wrong with the demonic Messenger, please go back to Malzath Hybreath to deliver your messages.
Or, ask Purson (Toth) to provide you a Messenger.
And please,
just for general understanding;
Due to your fiance and you having worked with the current already,
you might have extra steps in between,
when progressing forward into a different path.
I just have to address that to prevent false assumptions.
Also note,
that after discerning with you,
where you actually stand in your developement,
i’ll very likely summon one of these messenger spirits i’ve just named,
during your evokation of me,
to guide you forwards in a direction that suits you better.
Again,
just noting that beforehand,
so you’re not confused when you actually get other spirits coming forth in the evokation of me.
Sincerely,
¥’Berioth