Hi I had gotten started working with a demon, perhaps a bit sooner than I was ready.
Asides from all the dogma and things that people here, I had spent months fighting with a demonic
entity of some sorts, where I was the recipient of a magicians attack, or at least that is as best as I understand it.
Then in researching demons and curses and trying to understand what happened to me, I came to this site. I became drawn to a particular demon. I found his enn to be pretty and I tried saying it, thinking I had to have a whole bunch of incense and various things to actually summon him.
Before I knew it I had a working relationship with him. I had asked for a healing to an odd energy issue to test out the waters. I said I would offer a candle offering for it. At one point he was doing energy work on me as I slept. I told him just try to avoid giving me night mares. I woke up after one and sort of shrugged it off. I had another one where the message in the dream was to watch out who you cuddle with. I woke up to this fierce Demon laying on top of me. I said I think I would like you to leave.
He left. I felt bad, I felt I had offended him. I asked what I owed and he said 1 whole soul. From there we fought a bunch. we managed to start recovering actually. The relationship even took on a strangely romantic and sexual twist to my surprise.
From there it seemed he had took advantage of me, stealing astral energy, leaving parts of my soul in hell, dragging me through the underworld and manipulating me. I suppose it lead to a small chunk of what I wanted but he took it back and I lost everything.
We both had left over parts of the pact that we have yet to fulfill. I sometimes gets scared not knowing how we can possibly full fill the agreement to each other, especially in a fair way that is satisfying to both of us.
Before calling him on again to attempt to complete things I had got really depressed and angry and said he fucking failed me.
We on one hand have taken things sort of slow on one hand, but on the other we have already begun complicating and adding to the agreement again.
Lately I have been feeling less confident in my abilities to hear what the spirits are and are not saying. I think this neg attack may have messed with my crown chakra. So I thought I would bring this question to people who are probably more experienced anyways. I want to try to do more to accept my responsibility in ways that I have come up short in my relationship. I want us to work towards being able to legitimately trust each other, work well together and not feel that we are taking advantage of one another.
I see many people having better relationships with their demons, is there any advice that you guys can give me on this subject?