Heal someone I hurt from afar?

Health, Beauty & Shapeshifting
1

Hi guys,

Okay. So I have an older brother and our relationship is kinda rocky. Thing is, he didn’t finish high school due to some trouble with his teacher. My mother tried to make him finish HS by enrolling him to schools, but he became an adult and he never made it. The last resort was him trying out for an acceleration test where he could jump over HS and be eligible for college, but he failed twice. But my mom thankfully is a boss in her office so because of her he became a casual employee, but not enough for a stable job since he didn’t finish college.

His sensitive spot is him being told he’s stupid, not good enough, not smart enough - you know, the insults that make him feel like he’s a failure. Because in his mind he knew he tried so hard yet he failed.

We had a rocky relationship because I kept insulting him based on that. To be honest with you I’m kinda hot tempered, so most of the time I would get carried away in the past with our fights and tell him those insults so I could hurt him. So we didn’t talk for years.

We were able to make up with him apologizing. I would never forget the time he was about to cry, and for a short time we got along.

But since I was a bitch I was often cranky around the house, hot tempered, giving him orders to do this, do that, blah blah blah. If only I could turn back the time I would definitely change those situations which, upon looking back now, are really petty to begin with and are not big enough to be upset about.

And so he got sour with me. He started not talking with me again, he’d just talk to me if I talk I talk to him first. And when he does, he’s being snooty and a grump.

And this morning, we had a quarrel that I shouldn’t have gotten worked up over. It turned into a heated fight with him telling me that I was worthless, trash, useless, etc.

My ego got the worst of me, I guess, so I started calling him the things that made him feel like a failure - you know, he can’t get a job if not for mom since he never finished high school, he’s stupid, an idiot, etc.

Things calmed down now for a bit but I’m really guilty about not just for one petty quarrel that we just had, but for all the things I said to him over the past 11 years. I’ve always been sorry and I know I can never turn back the past, but I want to make up to him.

I want to heal him emotionally because I know he must be carrying some emotional baggage from all the failures he’d experienced, and from all the things I said to him and made him feel.

Is there a way to heal someone from afar on an emotional level, even if they don’t know it? I know most people are not into mental or magic stuff, so I don’t want him to get involved in a healing session or something. If that’s possible please let me know. Thanks.

2

I recommend you talk to him about it. Then YOU need to work on your anger issues. He may need some good therapy and more talks with you in a supportive environment.

3

[quote author=Euoi link=topic=5153.msg59861#msg59861 date=1427071523]
I recommend you talk to him about it. Then YOU need to work on your anger issues.
quote/

I totally agree with Euoi here. The best way to help your brother heal is to work on your own issues with him. Even if he does get some therapy of some form it will be hard for him not to revert back to old insecurities if you continue to throw it in his face everytime you have an argument.
On a less confrontational note - reiki is great for healing emotional scars & can be performed over distance, but you might be hard pressed to find a practitioner who would be willing to perform without his knowledge & consent. Best of luck to you - the nurturing of a strong family bond is definately something to be admired.

4

[quote author=janelle link=topic=5153.msg59873#msg59873 date=1427097222]

[quote=“Euoi, post:2, topic:4924”]I recommend you talk to him about it. Then YOU need to work on your anger issues.
quote/

I totally agree with Euoi here. The best way to help your brother heal is to work on your own issues with him. Even if he does get some therapy of some form it will be hard for him not to revert back to old insecurities if you continue to throw it in his face everytime you have an argument.
On a less confrontational note - reiki is great for healing emotional scars & can be performed over distance, but you might be hard pressed to find a practitioner who would be willing to perform without his knowledge & consent. Best of luck to you - the nurturing of a strong family bond is definately something to be admired.[/quote]

Yep, I guess that’s what I’d do. And I will control my anger from now on. Thanks for the suggestions guys.

5

[quote author=yuki link=topic=5153.msg59922#msg59922 date=1427181328]

[quote=“janelle, post:3, topic:4924”][quote=“Euoi, post:2, topic:4924”]I recommend you talk to him about it. Then YOU need to work on your anger issues.
quote/

I totally agree with Euoi here. The best way to help your brother heal is to work on your own issues with him. Even if he does get some therapy of some form it will be hard for him not to revert back to old insecurities if you continue to throw it in his face everytime you have an argument.
On a less confrontational note - reiki is great for healing emotional scars & can be performed over distance, but you might be hard pressed to find a practitioner who would be willing to perform without his knowledge & consent. Best of luck to you - the nurturing of a strong family bond is definately something to be admired.[/quote]

Yep, I guess that’s what I’d do. And I will control my anger from now on. Thanks for the suggestions guys.[/quote]

Once you do that maybe a white skull candle can help.

6

I might be mistaken but with everything you said here, you did not say you apologised to him, even at that time he apologised to you and you temporarily got on as a result.
May I suggest something to you? Just as you have told us here, in writing, do the same with your brother. Write to him, apologise to him about all the hurt you have caused him during all of your lives.
You don’t have to tell him face to face, just pour out your heart to him. silence your ego, swallow your pride and apologise. Do not think you’d lower yourself by doing it; on the contrary, you’ll grow because of it. Do that, and see what happens. Then in the future, refrain from letting loose with your mouth when you are angry. Words said hurt so much because once they have been uttered, they cannot be taken back. But a sincere apology over what we had said is the next best thing…

7

^ This is very true in my opinion: if you do something then feel bad about it, that’s very damaging to your self respect, at least if you value honour and integrity.

I did a huge purge on stuff like that a couple of years ago and it made me feel awesome, I made amends where possible and it felt like taking a huge weight off my shoulders, and like recovering parts of my own power I’d bound up in all these nagging guilty feelings. :slight_smile: