Hatred Curse - Is there such a thing?

Sorry to say, but thats a bunch of Bull… as I have been a very kind and loving…almost naive person in the past - always sending out love and positivity to others. You live, you learn.
I had too many people trying to teach me to think positively while their life sucked…mine didn’t. Reality is unkind.
I have been very lucky and very fortunate in many ways…but if I could choose, I would choose floating in darkness in space (in a dreamlike state) far away from humanity and this very dark place earth right now. The issue is - I really love life, my material body (as it is quite nice) and many earthly enjoyments, but I don’t appreciate the existence in itself for what it is.
And I would love to experience a world without any human being, just me and a few children and animals. But sometimes, it seems you have something to fulfil and are not allowed to go yet

I just gave you advice others much smarter and more experienced than myself have given me. You do you