Five years ago, I left Christianity behind. I met a friend online who was a demonologist and several Wiccans. I was in high school at the time. 17. I’m 22 now. I’ll be 23 next may. I tend to look back on this forum from time to time. Life gets in the way of things ahah but beside the point.
It all began when I met my friends. One of which taught me everything I know now. It started off with me being afraid of some “demonic” presence which really was just an aspect of a twin flame telling me to walk a different path. And so I did.
I started off with Asatru and Rokkatru because I felt a connection to my ancestors through that. I worked with Fenrir and Freyja(Freyja because my friend told me her runes were all around me). I had to be very secrative in my household about what I was doing because my mom while not Christian was very against paganistic and occult beliefs(I don’t know if it was something from her past as an ex boyfriend of hers was an occultist).
This path would last for I want to say two years. It’s also where I developed my psychic abilities as due to the fact that I was 17, no job and studying at High School I couldn’t afford altars or anything like that so I would sit and meditate. I’d soul travel and all of that.
Following that, it would be in November 2018 where I would meet with the Egyptian Council as I call them and the first threads of who I am began to unravel but I refused to accept it. I refused to believe I was anything more than just a man. Of course I took the scribe name of “Mani” which is the god of the moon in Norse Myth.I never would’ve thought I’d have been a moon god myself! But there it was in front of me as I met my “spiritually bethrothed” Bast.
I was always made fun of by a group of “friends” at high school for choosing to leave Christianity behind and become a Norse Pagan and it angered me. Then I would meet Krishna who told me pretty much to leave the group behind and work with demons.
I was pretty terrified of working with them especially considering how long the “binding rituals” are but in the end, I developed my own system for working with demons. I thought these were the darkest moments of my life my “Dark night of the soul” if you will. But they weren’t. I was just at the end of my adolescence trying to understand how the world worked.
I began seeing my past lives. Eventually even my previous incarnation. There is no such thing as coincidence as my past incarnation died 49 days before I was born on Norwegian Constitution Day.
Of course, I was still unemployed and finishing high school during Covid. Which in hindsight now, was where all my growth really began. I dwelled deeper into spirituality and as they say, you gaze into the void and the void stares back. This was also the time where I really stopped using these forums hehe. Life got messy.
I still worked with Freyja and the norse gods but I was opening up to other gods from other pantheons still living my carefree life. I had it set in my mind that I would go to University in Scotland which unfortunately never happened. I was 19/20 years old, stuck in my parents house with no job just out of high school and then I met my ex which was the catalyst that sparked my growth.
2021 was in every regard the darkest year of my life. My ex left me broken, defeated and I really felt like giving up. There were points where I wouldn’t eat or take care of myself. I wouldn’t even talk to my friends because I felt like they wouldn’t believe me.
I lost faith. I lost everything. I felt a disconnect from the spiritual. I couldn’t even meditate without thoughts of my ex coming into my head. It was painful. I questioned who I was in this great big universe. And then came 2022 where it all began to make sense.
I went to the park on a walk and there were abundant signs from the universe. From Odin, to my tulpas even down to the core of my energy; the moon right above me in broad daylight. Suddenly, all that sadness and pain went away. I stared in awe of the beauty around me. In this great big universe, I was me. I took this as motivation and when I got my paperwork together I finally landed a job and decided what I wanted to do. Or rather, decided I would have the motivation to make my dream a reality.
Work was tough. Fast food always is. I would blow my paychecks when given the chance but then this year I started noticing signs. The recipts for my breaks added up to 7.77 exactly. And then it kept happening, I kept noticing the number 777 all around me. Following that, I noticed vans and trucks that kept saying “film and media” on them. I took this as the biggest sign to get my shit together and applied for college. That was 7 months ago. I saved up for the biggest advent of my life. A course which would get me closer to my dream.
And here I am now. But I ended up coming to an even more powerful revelation in September. As I studied up, I realised not only am I an aspect of the moon gods I’ve worked with. I’m an aspect of the gods who worked with me. Odin, Khonsu, Hades, etc. Then when I studied Hinduism and the cyclical nature, I realised, I’m an incarnation of Vishnu!
We’re all incarnations of certain gods, what we want in our current lives it up to us. But as I’ve noticed in my life, the universe will always give you signs. It’s up to you to listen.