Feeling suicidal but wanting life improvement

Ok, so my life is not so good.
I am very anxious, I have a stammer problem and I feel very unconfortable around new people, my father died, I started again to do opioids and benzos, I don’t have so many friends, I feel bad about myself, about how I’m looking or how I’m acting. BUT I have a hope. I know I can do better, sometimes I want to kill myself but something drags me back everytime.
I want a life improvement. I have a little experience in magick, but I don’t know how to begin. What should I do to become who I want to be? Any tips are useful, guys


Posting this is the first step. You are looking for help and you’ll get it.

What Magick have you done? It will help us guide you. What are you open to and what’s off limits?

1 Like

Aside from the magick, please consider what you have to do in your mundane life:

  1. Seeking professional help
    a. Mental health counseling, grief counseling
    b. drug rehab

  2. Diet & exercise (for overall health)

I’m not saying those things will make you happy, but I’m just suggesting to try those along with magick.

…who do you want to be? that will help people help you determine which steps to take as far as magick goes.

Good luck :bouquet:


I worked on chackras, I can travel to astral, lucid dreaming. I am open to do anything.

Soo, I am 1.70m and I have 52 kg, so I’m skinny but I started to workout 2 months ago.
Yeah, I need rehab.

I want to be very confident, I don’t wanna be a weak motherfucker anymore. I want to trust myself, to become more handsome (I think I am unattractive), more talkative, more seductive. I want to reduce stammering very much, that’s my weak point since I was a child so that’s how anxiety begins.
I wanna get more girls and have more friends.
Also I want a bigger house (I am in an apartament now) because I like dogs very much and animals in general and they will help me and I will help them (stray dogs or mixed breeds).

Also I wanna be a rapper. My little circle of friends that I have said that I rap very good and I can really sing decent. Btw, I’m stammering only when I feel anxious, so it’s not a neuorological problem.

1 Like

Sounds better than 46 y/o me with constant health issue, living conditions suck, currently have severe covid 19, and am going deaf left side. My tinnitus is ringing off the charts, can’t taste anything, feel like vomitting most the time, fevers and chills that turn into seizures at times. Dunno if it will get better. Dun care much any more. If I die then i die. Maybe burn in my own little hell so to speak.

If i don’t… i can suffer some more so huzzah. Great fun. SO GREAT! Life Makes me suffer great again.


The next step I’d think would be is to work on spiritual senses.

After at least being able to receive mental messages from spirits, I’d recommend belial. He will most likely kick you ass into shape.

But I’d start small first. Call some of the beginner friendly demons to manifest things to make you happy. Dont feel guilty for wanting a better life with better things. They are willing to help.

After attempting to evoke a spirit, just truly know that they will come and make your will true. I find that walking into a evocation with the mind set of you’re going to hear or see the spirit, the results will be a lot better.
Don’t do it just to see if it works. Know it will. Balg forum has plenty of evoking guides so if you don’t like my method feel free to research more.


Why not try out subliminals? They can help you achieve all the results you desire. Just use protection and blockage removers too.

Also develop a relationship with any spirit you desire. I myself have been working with Sekhmet for my Mental health.


don’t matter what you want. matter what action you take to make it happen. You can wish all you want. if it’s ain’t put into plan of action to reach your goal it don’t matter. It’s all about results and not wishful thinking.

for example. you have a person like a girl dreaming wishing imagining all the good future potential experiences they will have with this girl but it’s pointless to have all these future expectation if that guy or girl don’t put into action to talk to the person they like or to interact or to get to know that person. He’s still thinking in his head all these good things yet he didn’t take action to interact with her. It’s just in his head. IF that person he/she likes isnt’ involve in his life. All that good thinking means nothing. It’s just waste of time if not put into action. Talk is cheap. Action is proof of your word. Too many don’t walk the talk. You can’t take anyone’s words these days. All they do is talk. New generation have no moral of doing what they say they gonna do. No will power to walk their talk. It’s all lies until action is put into place.

You probably knew this trick… found it a few days ago. I don’t have tinnitus but I thought the information might be useful to others

I’ve tried so many tricks but who knows could temp work. Most of the time you have to distract yourself. With this deafness water in ear feeling its distracted me in a bad way. Makes you spiral down.

I’m sorry you’re going thru all of this. I sincerely hope you find peace soon, I really do.

I can only assume torment on different levels for different people must serve some purpose. Its when my workings fail the most or just backfire like a curse. In essense null magic, and all bad.

I started stuttering after a seizure so now when I get nervous I stutter, I found that not letting fear in helps. You say you think your ugly, hence you fear people see you as that. When you stammer take even 30 solid seconds stop talking and hold your breath and think NO FEAR